Southport Golf Tours - Local and worldwide golfing holidays. Includes information about local courses, and a brochure request form.
The Royal Birkdale Golf Club - Includes club information, a description of the course, and a history covering past Opens.
Southport and Ainsdale Golf Club - Information about the course, the club house facilities, visitor rules, and the 1933 Ryder Cup. Plus a booking form, and members' section.
This delivery driver carries no money. His wife has it all. Love thy neighbor, but make sure her husband is away first. I respect faith, but doubt is what gives you an education.
-- Wilson Mizner To love someone deeply gives you strength. Being loved by someone deeply gives you courage.
-- Lao Tzu Ordinary riches can be stolen, real riches cannot. In your soul are infinitely precious things that
cannot be taken from you.
-- Oscar Wilde Golf He who laughs last is generally the last to get the joke.
-- Terry Cohen Worrying is like a rocking chair, it gives you something to do, but it doesn't get you anywhere.
-- Anonymous Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
-- Fred Allen Golf
"Have love for your friend up to a limit for it is possible he may turn into your enemy some day; and hate your enemy up to a limit for it is possible he may turn into your friend some day." (Ali bin I skate to where the puck is going to be, not to where it has been.
-- Wayne Gretzky "I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw my bath toys were a toaster and a radio." (Joan Rivers) Seeing a murder on television can help work off one's antagonisms. And if you haven't any
antagonisms, the commercials will give you some.
-- Alfred Hitchcock When you've spent half your political life dealing with humdrum issues like the environment... it's
exciting to have a real crisis on your hands.
-- Margaret Thatcher, on the Falklands Conflict Golf Great Spirit, help me never to judge another until I have walked in his moccasins.
-- Sioux Indian Prayer "The most exciting attractions are between two opposites that never meet." (Andy Warhol) In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: It goes on.
-- Robert Frost Golf
Never give up, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn.
-- Harriet Beecher Stowe Martyrdom... is the only way in which a man can become famous without ability. George Bernard
Shaw (1856 - 1950), The Devil's Disciple (1901) act 3 "Take your life in your own hands, and what happens? A terrible thing: no one to blame." (Erica Jong) Every major horror of history was committed in the name of an altruistic motive.
-- Ayn Rand Life - a sexually transmitted terminal condition.
-- Walter Prager Golf Where there is an unknowable there is a promise.
-- Thornton Wilder If a politician found he had cannibals among his constituents, he would promise them
missionaries for dinner.
-- H. L. Mencken A woman has got to love a bad man once or twice in her life to be thankful for a good one.
-- Mae West Golf
Why bother with marriage? Just find a woman you hate and buy her a house. Talk to a man about himself and he will listen for hours.
-- Benjamin Disraeli "In large states public education will always be mediocre, for the same reason that in large kitchens the cooking is usually bad." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor's Degree and the woman gets her Masters. "All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his." (Oscar Wilde, The Importance of Being Earnest) Golf In the case of good books, the point is not to see how many of them you can get through, but how
many can get through to you.
-- Mortimer J. Adler The true spirit of conversation consists in building on another man's observation, not overturning
it.
-- Edward Bulwer-Lytton Launch out into the deep. One discovers by living in scorn of consequence.
-- Essie Summers Golf
The church is the great lost and found department.
-- Robert Short "Once spirit was God, then it became man, and now it is even becoming mob." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other
is ready.
-- Henry David Thoreau "Marriage excuses no one the freak's roll-call." (Joe Orton, What the Butler Saw) "Man looks in the abyss, there's nothing staring back at him. At that moment, man finds his character. And that is what keeps him out of the abyss." (Hal Holbrook, Wallstreet) Golf Love thy neighbor, but make sure her husband is away first. The lover knows much more about absolute good and universal beauty than any logician or
theologian, unless the latter, too, be lovers in disguise.
-- George Santayana Marriage is like a hot bath. Once you get used to it, it's not so hot.
-- Anonymous Golf
The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going
to make fun of you.
-- Woody Allen Patriotism is your conviction that this country is superior to all others because you were born in it.
-- George Bernard Shaw A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.
- Paul Erdos Being a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women it is
merely a good excuse not to play football.
-- Fran Lebowitz Statistics are like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive, but what they conceal is vital.
-- Aaron Levenstein Golf All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.
- Ambrose Bierce "Any existence deprived of freedom is a kind of death." (General Michel Aoun) "I'm so insane, I voted for Eisenhower."
"Oh yeah, well I'm so insane, I voted for Eisenhower TWICE!"
-- Ken Kesey from "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest" Golf
When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. -- Guitry You have no more right to consume happiness without producing it than to consume wealth
without producing it.
-- George Bernard Shaw What is life? It is the flash of a firefly in the night. It is the breath of a buffalo in the wintertime. It is
the little shadow which runs across the grass and loses itself in the sunset.
-- Crowf A liberal is a man too broadminded to take his own side in a quarrel.
-- Robert Frost A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.
Robert Frost (1874-1963) Golf You probably wouldn't worry about what people think of you if you could know how seldom they
do.
-- Olin Miller blah "Great things are not done by impulse, but by a series of small things brought together." (Vincent van Gogh) "One may sometimes tell a lie, but the grimace that accompanies it tells the truth." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Golf
The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and
remove the crabgrass on your lawn. The Republicans are the party that says government doesn't
work and the The greatest test of courage on earth is to bear defeat without losing heart.
-- Robert G. Ingersoll I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department
store and he asked for my autograph.
-- Shirley Temple Black Laugh and the world laughs with you. Snore and you sleep alone.
-- Anthony Burgess Like a prune, you are not getting any better looking, but you are getting sweeter.
-- N. D. Stice Golf Marriage is not a ritual or an end. It is a long, intricate, intimate dance together and nothing
matters more than your own sense of balance and your choice of partner.
-- Amy Bloom You'd be surprised how much it costs to look this cheap.
-- Dolly Parton Hark, the Herald Tribune sings,
Advertising wondrous things!
-- Tom Lehrer Golf
I married beneath me. All women do.
-- Lady Nancy Astor, attributed It is dangerous for a national candidate to say things that people might remember.
-- Eugene McCarthy Love is the delusion that one man or woman differs from another.
-- H. L. Mencken Infatuation is when you think that he's as sexy as Robert Redford, as smart as Henry Kissinger,
as noble as Ralph Nader, as funny as Woody Allen, and as athletic as Jimmy Conners. Love is
when you r "If you meet a woman that smokes cigars ... marry her." (Arthur Lotti) Golf If you have any trouble sounding condescending, find a Unix user to show you how it's done.
-- Scott Adams May you grow so rich your widow's second husband never has to worry about a living, God forbid. Work is the refuge of people who have nothing better to do.
-- Oscar Wilde Golf
Few things are harder to put up with than a good example.
- Mark Twain The IRS spends God knows how much of your tax money on these toll-free information hot lines
staffed by IRS employees, whose idea of a dynamite tax tip is that you should print neatly. If you
ask th The only weapon that becomes sharper with constant use is the tongue.
-- Anonymous There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as
though everything is a miracle.
-- Albert Einstein There are only two things a child will share willingly communicable diseases and his mother's
age.
-- Modern Maturity Golf I couldn't remember when I had been so disappointed. Except perhaps the time I found out that
M&Ms really do melt in your hand...
-- Peter Oakley Women's liberationists spread the word that...the only peaceful family is one in which either the
wife is enslaved or the husband is androgynous.
-- R. Emmett Tyell, The Liberal Crack-Up, 1984 Democracy is a form of government that substitutes election by the incompetent many for
appointment by the corrupt few.
-- George bernard Shaw Golf
Don't bother just to be better than your contemporaries or predecessors. Try to be better than
yourself.
-- William Faulkner I believe in equality for everyone, except reporters and photographers.
-- Gandhi Let him who would enjoy a good future waste none of his present.
-- Roger Babson "There is nothing more fearful than ignorance in action." (Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, 1749-1832, Criticisms, Reflections and Maxims) Love is the flower of life, and blossoms unexpectedly and without law, and must be plucked
where it is found, and enjoyed for the brief hour of its duration.
-- D. H. Lawrence Golf "Death is nothing, but to live defeated and inglorious is to die daily." (Napoleon Bonaparte) I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me. Democracy is a government where you can say what you think even if you don't think.
-- Anon. Golf
