In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been
widely regarded as a bad move.
-- Douglas Adams Like a prune, you are not getting any better looking, but you are getting sweeter.
-- N. D. Stice Some people go to priests; others to poetry; I to my friends.
-- Virginia Woolf, Bernard, in The Waves, 1931; repr. 1943, p. 189 Vote for the man who promises least. He'll be the least disappointing.
-- Bernard Baruch "Humans beings can always be relied upon to assert, with vigor, their god-given right to be stupid." (Dean Koontz, Seize the Night) Transport Anyone who knows anything of history knows that great social changes are impossible without
feminine upheaval. Social progress can be measured exactly by the social position of the fair sex,
the ugl You've no idea of what a poor opinion I have of myself, and how little I deserve it.
-- W.S. Gilbert The death of democracy is not likely to be an assassination from ambush. It will be a slow
extinction from apathy, indifference, and undernourishment.
-- Robert Hutchins, Great Books, 1954 Transport
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to
us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
-- Jeff Raskin I base my fashion sense on what doesn't itch.
-- Gilda Radner Criticism is prejudice made plausible.
- Henry Louis Mencken "As a child, I thought I hated everybody, but when I grew up I realized it was just children I didn't like." (Philip Larkin) In the past decade or so, the women's magazines have taken to running home-handyperson
articles suggesting that women can learn to fix things just as well as men. These articles are
apparently based Transport Giving every man a vote has no more made men wise and free than Christianity has made them
good.
-- H.L. Mencken May your wife be a witch who takes after her mother, and may you all live together in a one-room house. Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man your wife would have preferred. Transport
Here's a toast to your new bride who has everything a girl could want in her life, except for good
taste in men!
-- Wedding Toast If life were predictable it would cease to be life, and be without flavor.
-- Eleanor Roosevelt "We the people are the rightful masters of both Congress and the courts, not to overthrow the Constitution but to overthrow the men who pervert the Constitution." (Abraham Lincoln, 1809-65) Sex is the mathematics urge sublimated.
-- M. C. Reed blah "This is the hardest of all: to close the open hand out of love, and keep modest as a giver." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Transport Marriage is like a hot bath. Once you get used to it, it's not so hot.
-- Anonymous Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater.
-- Gail Godwin The west wasn't won on salad.
-- ND Beef Council, billboard advertisement, 1990 Transport
"I am not afraid of tomorrow, for i have seen yesterday and i love today!" (William Allen White) We can say 'Peace on Earth,' we can sing about it, preach about it or pray about it, but if we have
not internalized the mythology to make it happen inside us, then it will not be.
-- Betty Shabazz If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead, get
married.
-- Katharine Hepburn I don't even butter my bread; I consider that cooking.
-- Katherine Cebrian We are the echo of the future.
-- W. S. Merwin Transport The advantage of a classical education is that it enables you to despise the wealth which it
prevents you from achieving.
-- Russell Green "Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It's not." (Theodor Seuss Geisel, a.k.a. Dr. Seuss, 1904-1991) "Life is a great surprise. I don't see why death should not be an even greater one." (Vladimir Nabokov) Transport
Anything is possible, but only a few things actually happen.
-- Richard Rosen The English country gentleman galloping after a fox--the unspeakable in full pursuit of the
uneatable.
-- Oscar Wilde Abstract art: a product of the untalented sold by the unprincipled to the utterly bewildered.
-- Al Capp It may be that the race is not always to the swift, nor the battle to the strong -- but that is the way
to bet.
-- Damon Runyan The world has suffered more from the ravages of ill-advised marriages than from virginity.
-- Ambrose Bierce Transport You have to kiss a lot of toads before you find a handsome prince.
-- American Proverb To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance
- Oscar Wilde "I praise loudly. I blame softly." (Catherine the Great) Transport
Women see better than men. Men see lazily, if they do not expect to act. Women see quite
without any wish to act.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson The optimist sees opportunity in every danger; the pessimist sees danger in every opportunity.
-- Winston Churchill A kitten is chiefly remarkable for rushing about like mad at nothing whatever, and generally
stopping before it gets there.
-- Agnes Repplier Talent does what it can; genius does what it must.
- Edward George Bulwer-Lytton Change is not merely necessary to life, it is life.
-- Alvin Toffler Transport "We're an embarrasment to college graduates across America." (James Douglas Morrison, lead singer of The Doors) Shotgun wedding: a case of wife or death By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. -- Socrates Transport
"The meeting of two personalites is like the contact of two chemical substances. If there is any reaction, both are transformed." (Carl Gustav Jung) "The order of the world is always right - such is the judgment of God. For God has departed, but he has left his judgment behind, the way the Cheshire Cat left his grin." (Jean Baudrillard) "Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something." (Plato, 427 BC-348) Even a band of angels can turn ugly and start looting if enough angels are unemployed and
hanging around the Pearly Gates convinced that all the succubi own all the liquor stores in
Heaven.
-- P. J "It seems to me that there are two kinds of trickery: the 'fronts' people assume before one another's eyes, and the 'front' a writer puts on the face of reality." (Francois Sagan) Transport Nuns: Women who marry God. If they divorce Him, do they get half the universe? You probably wouldn't worry about what people think of you if you could know how seldom they
do.
-- Olin Miller "Expose yourself to your deepest fear; after that, fear has no power, and the fear of freedom shrinks and vanishes. You are free." (James Douglas Morrison, lead singer of The Doors) Transport
Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity. But not in that order.
-- Brian Pickrell Obstacles cannot crush me. Every obstacle yields to stern resolve. He who is fixed to a star does
not change his mind.
-- Leonardo da Vinci, Notebooks "The only real mistake is the one from which we learn nothing." (John Powell) "I couldn't find the sports car of my dreams, so I built it myself." (Dr. Ferdinand Porsche) Transport Experience is not what happens to you; it's what you do with what happens to you.
-- Aldous Huxley Consequences, schmonsequences, as long as I'm rich!
-- Chuck Jones-directed cartoon "In literary criticism the critic has no choice but to make over the victim of his attention into something the size and shape of himself." (John Steinbeck, Travels With Charley) Transport
Whenever I dwell for any length of time on my own shortcomings, they gradually begin to seem
mild harmless, rather engaging little things, not at all like the staring defects in other people's
chara Republican boys date Democratic girls. They plan to marry Republican girls, but feel they're entitled to a little fun first. The whole problem can be stated quite simply by asking, "Is there a meaning to music?" My
answer would be, "Yes." And "Can you state in so many words what the meaning is?" My answer
to that would be Having children makes you no more a parent than having a piano makes you a pianist.
-- Michael Levine, Lessons at the Halfway Point Idealism increases in direct proportion to one's distance from the problem.
-- John Galsworthy Transport One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is
terribly important.
- Bertrand Russell
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A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton "The greatest of faults, I should say, is to be conscious of none." (Thomas Carlyle, 1795-1881) Better keep yourself clean and bright; you are the window through which you must see the world.
-- George Bernard Shaw Transport
We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out.
-- Decca Recording Company, rejecting the Beatles, 1962 "The evil that is in the world almost always comes of ignorance, and good intentions may do as much harm as malevolence if they lack understanding." (Albert Camus) Never eat more than you can lift.
-- Miss Piggy, character on "The Muppet Show," U.S. television show "In every gathering of thirteen, expect one guest will turn out to be a Judas." (Aleister Crowley) "Ninety percent of my salary I spent on booze and women ... and the other ten percent I wasted." (Tug McGraw, Major League Baseball pitcher) Transport blah bl "The better the state is established, the fainter is humanity." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Jimmy Carter as President is like Truman Capote marrying Dolly Parton. The job is just too big for
him.
-- Rich Little All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it
is accepted as being self-evident.
- Arthur Schopenhauer Transport
If men knew all that women think, they'd be twenty times more daring.
-- Alphonse Karr It is most unwise for people in love to marry.
-- George Bernard Shaw "True friends, like diamonds, are precious and rare. False friends, like autumn leaves, are found everywhere." (Anonymous) Love makes the time pass. Time makes love pass.
-- French Proverb I belong to Bridegrooms Anonymous. Whenever I feel like getting married, they send over a lady in a housecoat and hair curlers to burn my toast for me. -- Dick Martin Transport A person is not given integrity. It results from the relentless pursuit of honesty at all times.
-- Anon. There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.
-- Oscar Wilde In the case of good books, the point is not to see how many of them you can get through, but how
many can get through to you.
-- Mortimer J. Adler Transport
