Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.
-- Jackie Mason I do not have much patience with a thing of beauty that must be explained to be understood. If it
does need additional interpretation by someone other than the creator, then I question whether it
ha If you can't sleep, then get up and do something instead of lying there and worrying. It's the worry
that gets you, not the loss of sleep.
-- Dale Carnegie Basic research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing.
-- Wernher Von Braun I dislike arguments of any kind. They are always vulgar, and often convincing.
-- Oscar Wilde Askwith God help the man who won't marry until he finds a perfect woman, and God help him still more if
he finds her.
-- Benjamin Tillett It was very good of God to let Carlyle and Mrs Carlyle marry one another and so make only two people miserable instead of four, besides being very amusing. Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
-- Seen on a bumper sticker Askwith
No man should marry until he has studied anatomy and dissected at least one woman. -- Honore de Balzac "Pleasant words are a honeycomb, Sweet to the soul and healing to the bones." (Bible, Proverbs 16:24) Realism is a corruption of reality.
-- Wallace Stevens Life is to be fortified by many friendships. To love and to be loved is the greatest happiness of
existence.
-- Sydney Smith I don't even butter my bread; I consider that cooking.
-- Katherine Cebrian Askwith "Man looks in the abyss, there's nothing staring back at him. At that moment, man finds his character. And that is what keeps him out of the abyss." (Hal Holbrook, Wallstreet) It ain't what we don't know that gives us trouble, it's what we know that ain't so.
-- Will Rogers "Posterity: you will never know how much it has cost my generation to preserve your freedom. I hope you will make good use of it." (John Quincy Adams) Askwith
There's nothing wrong with having nothing to say -- unless you insist on saying it.
-- Anonymous Let him who would enjoy a good future waste none of his present.
-- Roger Babson Usenet is like a herd of performing elephants with diarrhea -- massive, difficult to redirect, awe-
inspiring, entertaining, and a source of mind-boggling amounts of excrement when you least
expect i I hate women because they always know where things are.
-- James Thurber Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that
can be shot when it breaks down.
-- Russell Baker Askwith Never be possessive. If a female friend lets on that she is going out with another man, be kind
and understanding. If she says she would like to go out with the Dallas Cowboys, including the
coachin Well, I think that it's a- it's had some difficult times but I think we have- we, I think, have been able
to make some very good progress and it's- I would say that it's- it's- it's delightful that w Someday is not a day of the week.
-- Anon. Askwith
"Your children are not your children. They are sons and daughters of life's longing for itself. They come through you but not from you. And though they are with you, they belong not to you. You may gi The real questions are the ones that obtrude upon your consciousness whether you like it or not,
the ones that make your mind start vibrating like a jackhammer, the ones that you 'come to terms
with "The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time." (Abraham Lincoln, 1809-65) My wife has a split personality, and I hate both of them. Women are the only exploited group in history to have been idealized into powerlessness.
-- Erica Jong Askwith There are three kinds of death in this world. There's heart death, there's brain death, and there's
being off the network.
-- Guy Almes A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.
- Sir Winston Churchill Women are like tea bags; put them in hot water and they get stronger.
-- Eleanor Roosevelt Askwith
That's the nature of research--you don't know what in hell you're doing.
-- 'Doc' Edgerton He would make a lovely corpse.
- Charles Dickens "Guard with jealous attention the public liberty. Suspect every one who approaches that jewel. Unfortunately, nothing will preserve it but downright force. Whenever you give up that force, you are ine The death of democracy is not likely to be an assassination from ambush. It will be a slow
extinction from apathy, indifference, and undernourishment.
-- Robert Hutchins, Great Books, 1954 Honor the ocean of love.
-- George de Benneville Askwith Marriages are made in heaven and consummated on Earth.
-- John Lyly Grad school is the snooze button on the clock-radio of life.
-- John Rogers, comedian (who holds a graduate degree in physics) We learn from experience that men never learn anything from experience.
-- George Bernard Shaw Askwith
Doctors are the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas
doctors rob you and kill you too.
-- Anton Chekhov Why yes -- a bulletproof vest.
-- James Rodges, murderer, on his final request before the firing squad To heck with marrying a girl who makes biscuits like her mother--I want to marry one who makes dough like her father. Give me a museum and I'll fill it.
-- Pablo Picasso "To live is to dream and to die is to awaken." (Anonymous) Askwith Washington is a city of Southern efficiency and Northern charm.
-- John F. Kennedy Whether you think that you can, or that you can't, you are usually right.
-- Henry Ford Never apologize for showing feeling. When you do so you apologize for truth.
-- Benjamin Disraeli Askwith
It's no credit to anyone to work to hard.
-- Ed Howe Now join your hands, and with your hands your hearts.
-- William Shakespeare, King Henry the Sixth blah "The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants." (Thomas Jefferson) A clever man commits no minor blunders.
- Goethe "Anyone who thinks they're important is usually just a pompous moron who can't deal with his or her own pathetic insignificance and the fact that what they do is meaningless and inconsequential..." ( Askwith "In married life three is company and two is none." (Oscar Wilde, The Importance of Being Earnest) Suicide is belated acquiescence in the opinion of one's wife's relatives. "It is not the answer that enlightens, but the question." (Eugene Ionesco) Askwith
No man should marry until he has studied anatomy and dissected at least one woman. -- Honore de Balzac Multimedia? As far as I'm concerned, it's reading with the radio on!
-- Rory Bremner Before God we are all equally wise - and equally foolish.
-- Albert Einstein "My wallpaper and I are fighting a duel to the death. One or the other of us has to go." (Oscar Wilde, his last recorded words) One of the greatest discoveries a man makes, one of his great surprises, is to find he can do
what he was afraid he couldn't do.
-- Henry Ford Askwith "The last of the human freedoms is to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances." (Viktor E. Frankl) I'm proud to be paying taxes in the United States. The only thing is - I could be just as proud for
half the money.
-- Arthur Godfrey Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
-- Groucho Marx Askwith
An ideal wife is one who remains faithful to you but tries to be just as charming as if she weren't.
-- Sacha Guitry We love because it's the only true adventure.
-- Nikki Giovanni I find television very educating. Every time sombody turns on the set, I go into the other room and
read a book.
-- Groucho Marx I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department
store and he asked for my autograph.
-- Shirley Temple Black Once the realization is accepted that even between the closest human beings infinite distances
continue to exist, a wonderful living side by side can grow up, if they succeed in loving the
distance Askwith "A girl can wait for the right man to come along, but in the meantime that still doesn't mean she can't have a wonderful time with all the wrong ones." (Cher) "When a girl marries, she exchanges the attentions of all the other men of her acquaintance for the inattention of just one." (Helen Rowland) Vitality shows in not only the ability to persist but the ability to start over.
-- F. Scott Fitzgerald Askwith
When I give a lecture, I accept that people look at their watches, but what I do not tolerate is
when they look at it and raise it to their ear to find out if it stopped.
-- Marcel Achard "I love to doubt as well as know." (Dante Alighieri, 1265-1321) History is the version of past events that people have decided to agree upon.
-- Napoleon Bonaparte There is no one so bound to his own face that he does not cherish the hope of presenting another
to the world.
-- Antonio Machado The best defense is a good offense.
-- Anonymous Askwith Many a man has finally succeeded only because he has failed after repeated efforts. If he had
never met defeat he would never have known any great victory.
-- Orison Swett Marden Icky icky icky icky fKANG zoop-boing n zowzyin...
-- The Knights who so recently said "Nee!", Monty Python, British comedy television show The fantasy which serves as a support for the figure of the Stalinist Communist is therefore
exactly the same as the fantasy which is at work in the Tom and Jerry cartoons.
-- Slavoj Zizek Askwith
Good Night, Good night! Parting is such sweet sorrow,
that I shall say good night till it be morrow.
-- Romeo and Juliet, Shakespeare. Act II, Scene II, lines 220-221 Grad school is the snooze button on the clock-radio of life.
-- John Rogers, comedian (who holds a graduate degree in physics) When you have to kill a man, it costs nothing to be polite.
- Sir Winston Churchill Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down.
- Jimmy Durante Wisdom is knowing what to do next; virtue is doing it.
-- David Starr Jordan Askwith "Most people would rather die than think; in fact, they do so." (Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 1872-1970) Why are women so much more interesting to men than men are to women?
-- Virginia Woolf Vitality shows in not only the ability to persist but the ability to start over.
-- F. Scott Fitzgerald Askwith
