"Humans beings can always be relied upon to assert, with vigor, their god-given right to be stupid." (Dean Koontz, Seize the Night) Does anal retentive have a hyphen?
-- Seen on a t-shirt The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him.
-- Robert Benchley Education is the state-controlled manufacture of echoes.
-- Norman Douglas The tragedy of life is not that man loses, but that he almost wins.
-- Heywood Brown Animals Those parts of the system that you can hit with a hammer (not advised) are called hardware;
those program instructions that you can only curse at are called software.
-- Unknown author, Levitating T "You exist only in what you do." (Federico Fellini) Children should be like waffles--you should be able to throw the first one away.
-- Mary Alice Messenger Animals
What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream? Or what's worse, what if only that fat
guy in the third row exists?
-- Woody Allen Once all struggle is grasped, miracles are possible.
-- Mao Tse-tung A baby is God's opinion that the world should go on.
-- Carl Sandburg I do not believe in an afterlife, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
-- Woody Allen May your wife be a witch who takes after her mother, and may you all live together in a one-room house. Animals In olden times, sacrifices were made at the altar, a practice which is still very much practiced.
-- Helen Rowland If excessive smoking actually plays a role in the production of lung cancer, it seems to be a minor
one.
-- Dr. W.C. Heuper of the National Cancer Institute, as quoted in the New York Times on Apri "If you want a thing done well, do it yourself." (Napoleon Bonaparte) Animals
A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.
-- Robert Frost If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars.
- J. Paul Getty You can always amend a big plan, but you can never expand a little one. I don't believe in little
plans. I believe in plans big enough to meet a situation which we can't possibly foresee now.
-- Ha There are those who look at things the way they are, and ask why... I dream of things that never
were, and ask why not?
-- Robert Francis Kennedy The first duty of a lecturer: to hand you after an hour's discourse a nugget of pure truth to wrap up
between the pages of your notebooks, and keep on the mantlepiece forever.
-- Virginia Woolf Animals "God's creatures, great and small ... eat them one, eat them all." (John A. Simone Sr.) Reading computer manuals without the hardware is a frustrating as reading sex manuals without
the software.
-- Arthur C. Clarke Everywhere I go, I'm asked if the universities stifle writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle
enough of them.
-- Flannery O'Connor Animals
The highest use of capital is not to make more money, but to make money do more for the
betterment of life.
-- Henry Ford Every flower must grow through dirt.
-- Anonymous Opportunities multiply as they are seized.
-- Sun Tzu "He who can, does. He who cannot, teaches." (George Bernard Shaw) The lover knows much more about absolute good and universal beauty than any logician or
theologian, unless the latter, too, be lovers in disguise.
-- George Santayana Animals "Courage is doing what you're afraid to do. There can be no courage unless you're scared." (Eddie Rickenbacker) The man who complains about the way the ball bounces is likely the one who dropped it.
-- Lou Holtz "The last Christian died on the cross." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Animals
Launch out into the deep. One discovers by living in scorn of consequence.
-- Essie Summers The time is always right to do what is right.
-- Martin Luther King, Jr. A new idea is delicate. It can be killed by a sneer or a yawn; it can be stabbed to death by a joke
or worried to death by a frown on the right person's brow.
-- Charles Brower Work is the refuge of people who have nothing better to do.
-- Oscar Wilde Every man knows his follies and often they are the most interesting thing he has got.
-- Josh Billings Animals A conclusion is the place where you got tired thinking.
-- Martin H. Fischer We have to keep trying things we're not sure we can pull off. If we just do the things we know we
can do... you don't grow as much. You gotta take those chances on making those big mistakes.
-- Cybi Seeing much, suffering much, and studying much, are the three pillars of learning.
-- Benjamin Disraeli Animals
Computers will not be perfected until they can compute how much more than the estimate the job
will cost.
-- Anon The more I know about people, the better I like my dog.
-- Mark Twain A sweetheart is a bottle of wine, a wife is a wine bottle.
-- Baudelaire Love means to love that which is unlovable; or it is no virtue at all.
-- G. K. Chesterton If you don't know how to do something, you don't know how to do it with a computer.
-- Anon. Animals Oregon Democratic Senate candidate Tom Bruggere, in describing his support for
comprehensive health care during a candidates' forum, said he supported "erection-to-
resurrection" coverage. He later a "I would rather die standing than live on my knees!" (Emiliano Zapata) "No person was ever honored for what he received. Honor has been the reward for what he gave." (Calvin Coolidge) Animals
What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death.
-- Dave Barry A narcissist is someone better-looking than you are.
-- Gore Vidal Of course, it is very important to be sober when you take an exam. Many worthwile careers in the
street-cleansing, fruit-picking and subway-guitar-playing industries have been founded on a lack
of u A good novel tells us the truth about its hero; but a bad novel tells us the truth about its author.
-- G. K. Chesterton Courage is the price that Love exacts for granting peace.
-- Amelia Earhart Animals The more I know about people, the better I like my dog.
-- Mark Twain Problems worthy of attack prove their worth by fighting back.
- Paul Erdos Everybody can be great... because anybody can serve. You don't have to have a college degree
to serve. You don't have to make your subject and verb agree to serve. you only need a heart full
of grac Animals
"Death solves all problems--no man, no problem." (Josef Stalin) "The monster a child knows best and is most concerned with [is] the monster he feels or fears himself to be. " (Bruno Bettelheim, child psychologist) "It is not the answer that enlightens, but the question." (Eugene Ionesco) The community stagnates without the impulse of the individual. The impulse dies away without
the sympathy of the community.
-- William James Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it, misdiagnosing it, and then misapplying the
wrong remedies.
-- Groucho Marx Animals Laywers, I suppose, were children once.
-- Charles Lamb Seeing much, suffering much, and studying much, are the three pillars of learning.
-- Benjamin Disraeli "When a girl marries, she exchanges the attentions of all the other men of her acquaintance for the inattention of just one." (Helen Rowland) Animals
Everything in the world may be endured except continued prosperity.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Thanksgiving is so called because we are all so thankful that it only comes once a year.
-- P. J. O'Rourke Go on, get out. Last words are for fools who haven't said enough.
-- Karl Marx, dying words to his housekeeper When you have to kill a man, it costs nothing to be polite.
- Sir Winston Churchill "So little done, so much to do." (Cecil Rhodes) Animals Flowers are words which even a baby can understand.
-- Arthur C. Coxe The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you're off it.
-- Jackie Gleason He who laughs last didn't get it.
-- Helen Giangregorio Animals
Genius has somewhat of the infantine; But of the childish not a touch or taint.
-- Robert Browning "To avoid criticism: do nothing, say nothing, be nothing." (Elbert Hubbard, American author, 1856-1915) "Our destiny exercises its influence over us even when, as yet, we have not learned its nature: it is our future that lays down the law of our today." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) When you gaze long into the abyss, the abyss also gazes into you.
- Friedrich Nietzsche We do not have censorship. What we have is a limitation on what newspapers can report.
-- Louis Nel, Deputy Minister of Information, South Africa Animals Usenet is like a herd of performing elephants with diarrhea -- massive, difficult to redirect, awe-
inspiring, entertaining, and a source of mind-boggling amounts of excrement when you least
expect i "Some look at things that are, and ask why. I dream of things that never were and ask why not?" (George Bernard Shaw) "Not only is there no guarantee of the temporal immortality of the human soul, that is to say of its eternal survival after death; but, in any case, this assumption completely fails to accomplish the Animals
We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart. -- H.L. Mencken Love is the dawn of marriage, and marriage is the sunset of love.
-- French saying Marriage is a lottery in which men stake their liberty and women their happiness.
-- Madame de Rieux "A friendship that exacts oneness of opinion and conduct is not worth much." (Mohandas Gandhi, In Search of the Supreme) "A man must dream a long time in order to act with grandeur, and dreaming is nursed in darkness." (Jean Genet) Animals Repentance is not so much remorse for what we have done as the fear of the consequences.
-- François de La Rouchefoucauld, Maxims, 1665 Most married couples, even though they love each other very much in theory, tend to view each
other in practice as large teeming flaw colonies, the result being that they get on each other's
nerves ARDOR, n. The quality that distinguishes love without knowledge.
-- Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, 1911 Animals
