If there is any one proof of a man's incompetence, it is the stagnant mentality of a worker who,
doing some small routine job in a vast undertaking, does not care to look beyond the lever of a
machi I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and
intellect has intended us to forgo their use.
- Galileo Galilei You got to be careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there.
-- Yogi Berra Men have a much better time of it than women; for one thing, they marry later; for another thing, they die earlier. --H.L. Mencken Coffee is a beverage that puts one to sleep when not drank.
-- Alphonse Allais Funeral Services Never express yourself more clearly than you are able to think.
-- Niels Bohr "In literary criticism the critic has no choice but to make over the victim of his attention into something the size and shape of himself." (John Steinbeck, Travels With Charley) The great thing in this world is not so much where we stand as in what direction we are going.
-- Oliver Wendell Holmes Funeral Services
"A bore is a man who, when you ask him how he is, tells you." (Bert Leston Taylor) University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.
-- Henry Kissinger Vote early and vote often.
- Al Capone A new idea is delicate. It can be killed by a sneer or a yawn; it can be stabbed to death by a joke
or worried to death by a frown on the right person's brow.
-- Charles Brower "The first duty of a revolutionary is to get away with it." (Abbie Hoffman) Funeral Services Does anal retentive have a hyphen?
-- Seen on a t-shirt I was nauseous and tingly all over... I was either in love or I had smallpox.
-- Woody Allen Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft...and the only one that can be mass
produced with unskilled labor.
-- Wernher von Braun Funeral Services
Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her. "When thou art at Rome, do as they do at Rome." (Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra, 1547-1616) I don't mind if you don't like my manners. I don't like them myself. They're pretty bad. I grieve over
them on long winter evenings.
-- Humphrey Bogart to Lauren Bacall, in "The Big Sleep" Change before you have to.
-- Jack Welch Marriage is like a bank account. You put it in, you take it out, you lose interest.
-- Irwin Corey Funeral Services If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars.
- J. Paul Getty Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end.
-- Semisonic, Closing Time "The fact that an opinion has been widely held is no evidence whatever that it is not utterly absurd." (Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 1872-1970) Funeral Services
Having children makes you no more a parent than having a piano makes you a pianist.
-- Michael Levine, Lessons at the Halfway Point blah "The length of this document defends it well against the risk of its being read." (Sir Winston Churchill, 1874-1965) The reason why worry kills more people than work is that more people worry than work.
-- ROBERT FROST You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
-- Mark Twain Never go to bed angry. Stay up and fight.
-- Phyllis Diller Funeral Services A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend upon the support of Paul.
-- George Bernard Shaw A woman's always younger than a man of equal years.
-Elizabeth Barrett Browning, Aurora Leigh Music is the art of thinking with sounds.
-- Jules Combarieu Funeral Services
"Self-confidence is the first requisite for achieving great things." (Samuel Johnson) Twenty years fron now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones
you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in
your If God does not exist, then everything is permitted.
-- Fyodor Dostoevsky, The Devils Marriage: A ceremony in which rings are put on the finger of the lady and through the nose of the
gentleman.
-- Herbert Spencer I don't feel good.
-- Luther Burbank, dying words Funeral Services "Any existence deprived of freedom is a kind of death." (General Michel Aoun) Trouble is a part of your life, and if you don't share it, you don't give the person that loves you
enough chance to love you enough.
-- Dinah Shore What kills a skunk is the publicity it gives itself.
-- Abraham Lincoln Funeral Services
Matters of religion should never be matters of controversy. We neither argue with a lover about
his taste, not condemn him, if we are just, for knowing so human a passion.
-- George Santayana If I had only known, I would have been a locksmith.
-- Albert Einstein When Baby's cries grew hard to bear I popped him in the Frigidaire. I never would have done so if
I'd known that he'd be frozen stiff. My wife said, "George, I'm so unhappy! Our darling's now
comple Some people talk in their sleep. Lecturers talk while other people sleep.
-- Albert Camus We can say 'Peace on Earth,' we can sing about it, preach about it or pray about it, but if we have
not internalized the mythology to make it happen inside us, then it will not be.
-- Betty Shabazz Funeral Services "One will rarely err if extreme actions be ascribed to vanity, ordinary actions to habit, and mean actions to fear." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) "I learned more from the one restaurant that didn't work than from all the ones that were successes." (Wolfgang Puck, restauranteur) "What is tolerance? -- it is the consequence of humanity. We are all formed of frailty and error; let us pardon reciprocally each other's folly -- that is the first law of nature." (Francois Marie Ar Funeral Services
Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday
afternoon.
-- Susan Ertz I hope you have not been leading a double life, pretending to be wicked and being really good all
the time. That would be hypocrisy.
-- Oscar Wilde "I have no special gift; I am only passionately curious." (Albert Einstein) To believe in something, and not to live it, is dishonest.
-- Ghandi "Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known." (Blaise Pascal) Funeral Services "It seems to me that if you or I must choose between two courses of thought or action, we should remember our dying and try so to live that our death brings no pleasure on the world." (John Steinbeck "Friends can help each other. A true friend is someone who lets you have total freedom to be yourself--and especially to feel. Or, not feel. Whatever you happen to be feeling at the moment is fine wit Here's to you and here's to me,
and I hope we never disagree.
But, if that should ever be,
to HELL with you, here's to ME!
-- Anonymous Funeral Services
The best theology would need no advocates; it would prove itself.
-- Karl Barth To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.
-- Oscar Wilde "I always thought a dog-lover was a dog who loved another dog." (James Thurber) Love is an emotion that is based on an opinion of women that is impossible for those who have
had any experience with them.
-- H. L. Mencken Marriage is the one subject on which all women agree and all men disagree.
-- Oscar Wilde Funeral Services "Humans beings can always be relied upon to assert, with vigor, their god-given right to be stupid." (Dean Koontz, Seize the Night) "He that would make his own liberty secure must guard even his enemy from oppression; for if he violates this duty he establishes a precedent that will reach to himself." (Thomas Paine) "Growth in wisdom can be measured precisely by decline in bile." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche, Human, All Too Human) Funeral Services
All television is children's television.
-- Richard P. Adler Under capitalism man exploits man; under socialism the reverse is true.
-- Polish proverb We in the industry know that behind every successful screenwriter stands a woman. And behind
her stands his wife.
-- Groucho Marx Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has not heart; and any man who is over 30, and is
not a conservative, has no brains.
-- Winston Churchill If we don't change the direction we are going,
We are likely to end up where we are heading.
-- Chinese saying Funeral Services Ne'er take a wife till thou hast a house (and a fire) to put her in.
-- Benjamin Franklin Before marraige a man will like awake all night thinking about something you said. After marriage
he will fall asleep before you have finished saying it.
-- Anon. I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
-- Groucho Marx Funeral Services
Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.
-- Steven Wright What kills a skunk is the publicity it gives itself.
-- Abraham Lincoln It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.
-- Mark Twain That's the nature of research--you don't know what in hell you're doing.
-- 'Doc' Edgerton Now join your hands, and with your hands your hearts.
-- William Shakespeare, King Henry the Sixth Funeral Services How many legs does a dog have if you call the tail a leg? Four. Calling a tail a leg doesn't make it
a leg.
-- Abraham Lincoln Good breeding consists in concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of
the other person.
-- Mark Twain Never judge a book by its movie.
-- J. W. Eagan Funeral Services
Love is an ocean of emotions entirely surrounded by expenses.
-- Lord Dewar "If there is something to pardon in everything, there is also something to condemn." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche, The Will to Power, 1888) For best results: wash in cold water separately, hang dry and iron with warm iron. For not so good
results: drag behind car through puddles, blow-dry on roofrack.
-- Laundry instructions on a shirt May the road rise to meet you. May the wind always be at your back. May the sun shine warm
upon your face, the rains fall soft upon your fields and, until we meet again, may God hold you in
the palm Journalism consists largely in saying "Lord Jones died" to people who never knew Lord Jones
was alive.
-- G. K. Chesterton Funeral Services Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.
- H. G. Wells I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat!
-- Will Rogers There is no such thing as a moral or an immoral book. Books are well written or badly written.
-- Oscar Wilde Funeral Services
