The reason most people play golf is to wear clothes they would not be caught dead in otherwise.
-- Roger Simon Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the
truth.
- Sherlock Holmes Bigamy is one way of avoiding the painful publicity of divorce and the expense of alimony.
-- Oliver Herford After silence, that which comes nearest to expressing the inexpressible is music.
-- Aldous Huxley Life is ours to be spent, not to be saved.
-- D.H. Lawrence Recreation and Sports "A dress makes no sense unless it inspires men to take it off of you." (Francois Sagan) When in doubt, make a fool of yourself. There is a microscopically thin line between being
brilliantly creative and acting like the most gigantic idiot on earth. So what the hell, leap.
-- Cynthia H If you are afraid of loneliness, do not marry. -- Chekhov Recreation and Sports
I'm for abolishing and doing away with redundancy.
-- J. Curtis McKay, Wisconsin State Elections Board The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I
have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.
-- George Bernard Shaw Marriage is a matter of give and take, but so far I haven't been able to find anybody who'll take
what I have to give.
-- Cass Daley Why are women so much more interesting to men than men are to women?
-- Virginia Woolf "Even a stopped clock is right twice a day." (Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach) Recreation and Sports Never judge someone by who he's in love with; judge him by his friends. People fall in love with
the most appalling people. Take a cool, appraising glance at his pals.
-- Cynthia Heimel "The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants." (Thomas Jefferson) An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have; the older she gets the more interested
he is in her.
-- Agatha Christie Recreation and Sports
"Better is the enemy of good." (Francois Marie Arouet Voltaire, 1694-1778) No one finds life worth living; he must make it worth living.
-- Anon. What's new? Most of my wife. If stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?
- Will Rogers When a girl marries she exchanges the attention of many men for the inattention of one.
-- Helen Rowland Recreation and Sports My best friend is the one who brings out the best in me!
-- Henry Ford Prayer gives a man the opportunity of getting to know a gentleman he hardly ever meets. I do not
mean his maker, but himself.
-- Dean Inge I figure you have the same chance of winning the lottery whether you play or not.
-- Fran Lebowitz Recreation and Sports
When you've spent half your political life dealing with humdrum issues like the environment... it's
exciting to have a real crisis on your hands.
-- Margaret Thatcher, on the Falklands Conflict We do not have censorship. What we have is a limitation on what newspapers can report.
-- Louis Nel, Deputy Minister of Information, South Africa When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
-- Sacha Guitry "Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something." (Plato, 427 BC-348) Examinations are formidable even to the best prepared, for the greatest fool may ask more than
the wisest man can answer.
-- Charles Caleb Colton Recreation and Sports "How is it that we never have time to do a job right, but we always have time to do it over?" (Anonymous) Substitute "damn" every time you're inclined to write "very"; your editor will delete it and the
writing will be just as it should be.
-- Mark Twain The person who is slowest in making a promise is most faithful in its performance.
-- Jean-Jacques Rousseau Recreation and Sports
This delivery driver carries no money. His wife has it all. "I heard the old, old, men say 'all that's beautiful drifts away, like the waters.'" (William Butler Yeats) Never look at the trombones. You'll only encourage them.
-- Richard Strauss, on conducting It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.
- Mark Twain The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds; and the pessimist fears this
is true.
-- James Branch Cabell, The Silver Stallion Recreation and Sports I'm not dumb, I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.
-- Calvin Luck is the residue of design.
- Branch Rickey - former owner of the Brooklyn Dodger Baseball Team The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.
-- Lily Tomlin Recreation and Sports
"Drugs have done a lot of good. A lot of good songs have been written. 'Penny Lane' is worth 10 dead kids. 'Dark Side of the Moon?' 100 dead kids. At least that many were conceived by people listening It is with true love as it is with ghosts; everyone talks about it, but few have seen it.
-- François de La Rouchefoucauld "I learned more from the one restaurant that didn't work than from all the ones that were successes." (Wolfgang Puck, restauranteur) Doctors are the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas
doctors rob you and kill you too.
-- Anton Chekhov Integrity is what we do, what we say, and what we say we do.
--Don Galer Recreation and Sports A memorandum is written not to inform the reader but to protect the writer.
-- Dean Acheson "Everything in my life has been determined by mistakes." (Gene Wilder) It makes no difference who you vote for - the two parties are really one party representing four
percent of the people.
-- Gore Vidal Recreation and Sports
The whole problem can be stated quite simply by asking, "Is there a meaning to music?" My
answer would be, "Yes." And "Can you state in so many words what the meaning is?" My answer
to that would be "As is our confidence, so is our capacity." (William Hazlitt) "People have to talk about something just to keep their voice boxes in working order so they'll have good voice boxes in case there's ever anything really meaningful to say." (Kurt Vonnegut) "I don't think it's the nature of any man to be monogamous. Men are propelled by genetically ordained impulses over which they have no control to distribute their seed." (Marlon Brando) It is absurd to divide people into good or bad. People are either charming or tedious.
-- Oscar Wilde Recreation and Sports Thank God - every morning when you get up - that you have something to do which must be
done, whether you like it or not. Being forced to work, and forced to do your best, will breed in you
a hundre "Freedom of press is limited to those who own one." (Henry Louis Mencken) The church must be the critic and guide of the state, and never its tool.
-- Martin Luther King, Jr. Recreation and Sports
To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.
-- Oscar Wilde The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it's just sort of a tired feeling.
-- Paula Poundstone Thomas Jefferson--still surv...
-- John Adams, dying words It is much more comfortable to be mad and know it, than to be sane and have one's doubts.
- G. B. Burgin I don't know why we are here, but I'm pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves.
- Ludwig Wittgenstein Recreation and Sports A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.
- Frank Lloyd Wright As I would not be a slave, so I would not be a master. This expresses my idea of democracy.
-- Abraham Lincoln Marriage means commitment. Of course, so does insanity. Recreation and Sports
Spinster: A bachelor's wife. I do not believe in an afterlife, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
-- Woody Allen Drink to me.
-- Pablo Picasso, dying words No man is good enough to govern another man without that other's consent.
-- Abraham Lincoln In marriage, the bridge gets a shower. But for the groom, it's curtains! Recreation and Sports We're our own dragons as well as our own heroes, and we have to rescue ourselves from
ourselves.
-- Tom Robbins "I think it's about time we voted for senators with breasts. After all, we've been voting for boobs
long enough."
-- Arizona senatorial candidate Claire Sargent, on women candidates Wisdom is knowing what to do next; virtue is doing it.
-- David Starr Jordan Recreation and Sports
All marriages are happy--it's the living together afterward that causes all the problems. Politics have no relation to morals.
-- Niccolo Machiavelli The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity. But not in that order.
-- Brian Pickrell When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of
the world.
- George Washington Carver There is no cure for birth and death save to enjoy the interval.
-- George Santayana Recreation and Sports The bottom line is that (a) people are never perfect, but love can be, (b) that is the one and only
way that the mediocre and vile can be transformed, and (c) doing that makes it that. We waste
time It is better to die on your feet than live on your knees.
-- Emiliano Zapata A theory is something nobody believes, except the person who made it. An experiment is
something everybody believes, except the person who made it.
-- Albert Einstein, attributed Recreation and Sports
What if it was cats who invented technology... would they have tv shows starring rubber sqeak
toys?
-- Douglas Coupland Marriage certificate is just another word for a work permit. Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does.
-- Groucho Marx Action springs not from thought, but from a readiness for responsibility.
-- Dietrich Bonhoeffer You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a firefly and still have room
enough for three caraway seeds and a producer's heart.
-- Fred Allen Recreation and Sports I shall return.
-- General Douglas MacArthur Genius has somewhat of the infantine; But of the childish not a touch or taint.
-- Robert Browning The philosophy exam was a piece of cake -- which was a bit of a surprise, actually, because I
was expecting some questions on a sheet of paper.
-- Smith & Jones Recreation and Sports
