Marital Freedom: The liberty that allows a husband to do exactly that which his wife pleases.
-- Anonymous My other wife is beautiful. "You make 'em, I amuse 'em." (Theodor Seuss Geisel, a.k.a. Dr. Seuss, 1904-1991, on children) "Pay no attention to what the critics say; there has never been set up a statue in honor of a critic." (Jean Sibelius) When yer in a funk, people in love are a royal pain in the patookus.
-- Portnoy, character in "Outland," comic strip by Berkely Breathed Colleges and Universities For the majority of People, smoking has a beneficial effect.
-- Dr. Ian G. Macdonald, Los Angeles surgeon, quoted in Newsweek , Nov.18th 1963. Criticism is prejudice made plausible.
-- H. L. Mencken The fickleness of the women I love is only equalled by the infernal consistency of the women who
love me.
-- George Bernard Shaw Colleges and Universities
"People drag their progeny around with them like a ball and chain, like some terrible deadweight that hinders their every move - and that, as often as not, effectively winds up killing them." (Michel It is important that students bring a certain ragamuffin, barefoot, irreverence to their studies; they
are not here to worship what is known, but to question it.
-- J. Bronowski, The Ascent of Man Marriage is an adventure, like going to war.
-- G. K. Chesterton "No one ever owns his youth or the women he loves." (Pedro Almodóvar, Live Flesh) My darling wife was always glum. I drowned her in a cask of rum, And so made sure that she would stay, In better spirits night and day. Colleges and Universities Man must evolve for all human conflict a method which rejects revenge, aggression and
retaliation. the foundation of such a method is love.
-- Martin Luther King, Jr. People may or may not say what they mean ... but they always say something designed to get
what they want.
-- David Mamet The soul is healed by being with children.
-- Fyodor Dostoyevski Colleges and Universities
Neither fire nor wind, birth nor death can erase our good deeds.
-- Buddha "Take your life in your own hands, and what happens? A terrible thing: no one to blame." (Erica Jong) Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.
- Napoleon Bonaparte "I was lousy in school. Real screwed-up. A moron. I was antisocial and didn't bother with the other kids. A really bad student. I didn't have any brains. I didn't know what I was doing there. That's w Your life and my life flow into each other as wave flows into wave, and unless there is peace and
joy and freedom for you, there can be no real peace or joy or freedom for me. To see reality--not
as Colleges and Universities Hark, the Herald Tribune sings,
Advertising wondrous things!
-- Tom Lehrer "Kill a man, and you are a murderer. Kill millions of men, and you are a conquerer. Kill everyone, and you are a god." (Jean Rostand) The whole art of teaching is only the art of awakening the natural curiosity of young minds for the
purpose of satisfying it afterwards.
-- Anatole France Colleges and Universities
Be like a postage stamp. Stick to one thing until you get there.
-- Josh Billings If we do not maintain Justice, Justice will not maintain us.
-- Francis Bacon "Be the change that you want to see in the world." (Mohandas Gandhi) "Better to be deprived of food for three days than tea for one." (Chinese Proverb) The crime bill passed by the Senate would reinstate the Federal death penalty for certain violent
crimes: assassinating the President; hijacking an airliner; and murdering a government poultry
inspe Colleges and Universities "Love is always a stranger in the house of avarice." (Andreas Capellanus) Facts are stubborn things; and whatever may be our wishes, our inclinations, or the dictates of
our passions, they cannot alter the state of facts and evidence.
-- John Adams "Every act of violence increases the recruitment of terrorists. Iraq has been turned into a base of terror." (Noam Chomsky, from The Toronto Star, March 23, 2004) Colleges and Universities
If you were plowing a field, which would you rather use? Two strong oxen or 1024 chickens?
- Seymour Cray (1925-1996), father of supercomputing "Club Secretary: I say, Lawrence. You are a clown!
Lawrence: We can't all be lion tamers." (Thomas Edward Lawrence, Lawrence of Arabia, 1962) A husband is what's left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.
-- Helen Rowland "I always thought a dog-lover was a dog who loved another dog." (James Thurber) The most valuable of all talents is that of never using two words when one will do.
-- Thomas Jefferson Colleges and Universities Stung by the splendour of a sudden thought.
-- Robert Browning A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.
Robert Frost (1874-1963) The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in the mind at the same
time, and still retain the ability to function.
-- F. Scott Fitzgerald Colleges and Universities
And since the stench of death will always attract flies and vermin, the arrival of Geraldo was
perhaps inevitable.
-- Garry Trudeau If you find it in your heart to care for somebody else, you will have succeeded.
-- Maya Angelou The Bible contains six admonishments to homosexuals and 362 admonishments to
heterosexuals. That doesn't mean that God doesn't love heterosexuals. It's just that they need
more supervision.
-- Lynn My other wife is beautiful. Property may be destroyed and money may lose its purchasing power; but, character, health,
knowledge and good judgement will always be in demand under all conditions.
-- Roger Babson Colleges and Universities Love: An obsessive delusion that is cured by marriage. If a relationship is to evolve, it must go through a series of endings.
-- Lisa Moriyama He would make a lovely corpse.
- Charles Dickens Colleges and Universities
Knowledge is the intellectual manipulation of carefully verified observations.
-- Sigmund Freud Whatever women do they must do it twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily this
is not difficult.
-- Charlotte Whitton Fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds worth of distance run.
- Rudyard Kipling May your wife be a witch who takes after her mother, and may you all live together in a one-room house. The only way to entertain some folks is to listen to them.
-- Kin Hubbard Colleges and Universities My father was a minister. I had to make up for the lack of sin.
-- Milwuakee mayor, on why he became a politician I worship the quicksand he walks in.
- Art Buchwald There are no days in life so memorable as those which vibrated to some stroke of the
imagination.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson Colleges and Universities
To keep your marriage brimming
With love in the marriage cup,
Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
Whenever you're right, shut up. -- Nash The only way to entertain some folks is to listen to them.
-- Kin Hubbard God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
-- Voltaire In the end, everything is a gag.
- Charlie Chaplin "Yes, I am a dreamer. For a dreamer is one who can find his way by moonlight, and see the dawn before the rest of the world." (Oscar Wilde) Colleges and Universities The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work.
- Emile Zola Always do right; this will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
-- Mark Twain The more faithfully you listen to the voices within you, the better you will hear what is sounding
outside.
-- Dag Hammarskjold Colleges and Universities
University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.
- Henry Kissinger Love is an ocean of emotions entirely surrounded by expenses.
-- Lord Dewar Marriages are made in heaven and consummated on Earth.
-- John Lyly Great eaters and great sleepers are incapable of anything else that is great.
-- William Shakespeare, Henry IV "I put on an act sometimes, and people think I'm insensitive. Really, it's like a kind of armor because I'm too sensitive. If there are two hundred people in a room and one of them doesn't like me, I' Colleges and Universities Trouble is a part of your life, and if you don't share it, you don't give the person that loves you
enough chance to love you enough.
-- Dinah Shore "Children spell love...T-I-M-E." (Dr. Anthony P. Witham) Some people talk in their sleep. Lecturers talk while other people sleep.
-- Albert Camus Colleges and Universities
Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man your wife would have preferred. You can complain because roses have thorns, or you can rejoice because thorns have roses.
-- Ziggy, character in comic strip by Tom Wilson Education is not filling a bucket, but lighting a fire.
-- William Yeats Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches.
- the Duchess of Windsor, when asked what is the secret of a long and happy life Statistics have shown that mortality increases perceptibly in the military during wartime.
-- Alphonse Allais Colleges and Universities "If A equals success, then the formula is: A = X + Y + Z, X is work. Y is play. Z is keep your mouth shut." (Albert Einstein) It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims.
- Aristotle "I think you should defend to the death their right to march, and then go down and meet them with baseball bats." (Woody Allen, in regard to the KKK) Colleges and Universities
Life is not an easy matter.... You cannot live through it without falling into frustration and cynicism
unless you have before you a great idea which raises you above personal misery, above
weakness I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial.
- Irvin S. Cobb "Is life not a thousand times too short for us to bore ourselves?" (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not
there, I go to work.
-- Robert Orben Better to have loved a short man than never to have loved a tall.
-- David Chambless Colleges and Universities In marriage, as in war, it is permitted to take every advantage of the enemy. The mind has exactly the same power as the hands: not merely to grasp the world, but to change
it.
-- Colin Wilson Choose the life that is most useful, and habit will make it the most agreeable.
-- Francis Bacon Colleges and Universities
