"Everything in my life has been determined by mistakes." (Gene Wilder) We have children because we want immortality and this is the most reliable way of getting it.
-- Woodrow Wyatt blah "Ideas are like stars, you will not succeed in touching them with your hands, but like the seafaring man on the desert of waters, you choose them as your guides, and, following them, you reach yo There are many things worth living for, there are a few things worth dying for, but there is nothing
worth killing for.
-- Tom Robbins Patriotism is the last refuge of the scoundrel.
-- Samuel Johnson Kirk Smeaton Trying to determine what is going on in the world by reading newspapers is like trying to tell the
time by watching the second hand of a clock.
-- Ben Hecht Feeding the hungry is a greater work than raising the dead.
-- Saint John Chrysostom "Have you ever fed your pocket and starved your soul?" (Ivana Santilli, Too Deep) Kirk Smeaton
Of course there's a lot of knowledge in universities: the freshmen bring a little in; the seniors don't
take much away, so knowledge sort of accumulates...
-- Anonymous I don't mind if you don't like my manners. I don't like them myself. They're pretty bad. I grieve over
them on long winter evenings.
-- Humphrey Bogart to Lauren Bacall, in "The Big Sleep" Marriage resembles a pair of shears, so joined that they cannot be separated; often moving in
opposite directions, yet always punishing any one who comes between them.
-- Sydney Smith What we anticipate seldom occurs: but what we least expect generally happens.
-- Benjamin Disraeli He who receives an idea from me receives instruction for himself without lessening mine; as he
who lights his taper at mine receives light without darkening me.
-- Thomas Jefferson Kirk Smeaton I was going to change my shirt, but I changed my mind instead.
-- Winnie the Pooh "Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear." (Ambrose Redmoon) "Self-confidence is the first requisite for achieving great things." (Samuel Johnson) Kirk Smeaton
Elegance of language may not be in the power of all of us; but simplicity and straight forwardness
are. Write much as you would speak; speak as you think. If with your inferior, speak no coarser
tha In endowing us with memory, nature has revealed to us a truth utterly unimaginable to the
unreflective creation, the truth of immortality....The most ideal human passion is love, which is
also the m He who limps is still walking.
-- Stanislaw J. Lec "I either want less corruption, or more chance to participate in it." (Ashleigh Brilliant) Marriage is not just a having a wife, but also worries inherited forever. Kirk Smeaton Love one another and you will be happy. It's as simple and as difficult as that.
-- Michael Leunig "Someday there will be girls and women whose name will no longer mean the mere opposite of the male, but something in itself, something that makes one think not of any compliment and limit, but only o Airplane travel is nature's way of making you look like your passport photo.
-- Al Gore, U.S. Vice President Kirk Smeaton
"Drugs have done a lot of good. A lot of good songs have been written. 'Penny Lane' is worth 10 dead kids. 'Dark Side of the Moon?' 100 dead kids. At least that many were conceived by people listening Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love,
but no friendship.
-- Oscar Wilde "Failure is not an option!" (Ed Harris, as Gene Kranz, Apollo 13) It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid.
- George Bernard Shaw Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.
- Napoleon Bonaparte Kirk Smeaton We need the iron qualities that go with true manhood. We need the positive virtues of resolution,
of courage, of indomitable will, of power to do without shrinking the rough work that must always
be I think there are only three things America will be known for 2,000 years from now when they
study this civilization: the Constitution, jazz music, and baseball.
-- Gerald Early, writer, baseball do Disbelief in magic can force a poor soul into believing in government and business.
-- Tom Robbins Kirk Smeaton
Bigamy is one way of avoiding the painful publicity of divorce and the expense of alimony.
-- Oliver Herford Don't be afraid your life will end; be afraid that it will never begin.
-- Grace Hansen To be or not to be isn't the question. The question is how to prolong being.
-- Tom Robbins The majority of husbands remind me of an orangutan trying to play the violin.
-- Honore de Balzac The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit.
-- W. Somerset Maugham Kirk Smeaton Eternal boyhood is the dream of a depressing percentage of American males, and the locker
room is the temple where they worship arrested development.
-- Russell Baker The covers of this book are too far apart.
-- Ambrose Bierce He who has a 'why' to live, can bear with almost any 'how'.
- Friedrich Nietzsche Kirk Smeaton
It destroys one's nerves to be amiable everyday to the same human being.
-- Benjamin Disraeli Choose the life that is most useful, and habit will make it the most agreeable.
-- Francis Bacon History is more or less bunk.
-- Henry Ford You can't buy love, but you can pay heavily for it.
-- Henny Youngman Love is the answer, but while you're waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good
questions.
-- Woody Allen Kirk Smeaton We haven't the money, so we've got to think.
-- Lord Rutherford Disclaimer: Even my wife doesn't agree with everything I say, and she loves me dearly. My employers don't love me nearly as much as she does. Draw your own conclusions. "I was born lost and take no pleasure in being found..." (John Steinbeck, Travels With Charley) Kirk Smeaton
I am enough of an artist to draw freely upon my imagination. Imagination is more important than
knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world.
-- Albert Einstein When you are right, you cannot be too radical; When you are wrong, you cannot be too
conservative.
-- Martin Luther King, Jr. The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I
have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.
-- George Bernard Shaw Even overweight cats instinctively know the cardinal rule: when fat, arrange yourself in slim
poses.
-- John Weitz, American Designer A man must marry only a very pretty woman in case he should ever want some other man to take her off his hands. -- Guitry Kirk Smeaton "A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds." (Ralph Waldo Emerson) Perhaps, after all, America never has been discovered. I myself would say that it had merely
been detected.
-- Oscar Wilde If a politician found he had cannibals among his constituents, he would promise them
missionaries for dinner.
-- H. L. Mencken Kirk Smeaton
"The biggest argument against democracy is a five minute discussion with the average voter." (Sir Winston Churchill, 1874-1965) I went into a McDonald's yesterday and said, "I'd like some fries." The girl at the counter said,
"Would you like some fries with that?"
-- Jay Leno There are two major products that come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX. We don't believe this to
be a coincidence.
-- Jeremy S. Anderson If God created us in His image we have certainly returned the compliment.
-- Voltaire My father was a minister. I had to make up for the lack of sin.
-- Milwuakee mayor, on why he became a politician Kirk Smeaton Why are women so much more interesting to men than men are to women?
-- Virginia Woolf My darling wife was always glum. I drowned her in a cask of rum, And so made sure that she would stay, In better spirits night and day. Marriage is low down, but you spend the rest of your life paying for it.
-- Baskins Kirk Smeaton
A good marriage is like a casserole, only those responsible for it really know what goes in it.
-- Anonymous Marriage is an adventure, like going to war.
-- G. K. Chesterton The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep.
- Clinton aide George Stephanopolous speaking on Larry King Live When Michelangelo finished the painting of the Sistine Chapel's ceiling, he spent the rest of his
life trying to remove the paint that had poured into his sleeve.
-- Francois Cavanna Youth is wasted on the young.
-- George Bernard Shaw Kirk Smeaton I'm worried that the universe will soon need replacing. It's not holding a charge.
-- Edward Chilton Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside a dog, it's too dark to read.
-- Groucho Marx "There is no sin except stupidity." (Oscar Wilde) Kirk Smeaton
Man must evolve for all human conflict a method which rejects revenge, aggression and
retaliation. the foundation of such a method is love.
-- Martin Luther King, Jr. I love cats because I love my home and after a while they become its visible soul.
-- Jean Cocteau Every mother generally hopes that her daughter will snag a better husband than she managed to
do...but she's certain that her boy will never get as great a wife as his father did.
-- Anonymous "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself." (Franklin Delano Roosevelt, 1882 - 1945, 32nd U.S. President) Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
-- Erma Bombeck Kirk Smeaton Life is not an easy matter.... You cannot live through it without falling into frustration and cynicism
unless you have before you a great idea which raises you above personal misery, above
weakness "Avoid providing material for the drama that is always stretched tight between parents and children; it uses up much of the children's strength and wastes the love of the elders, which acts and warms How many legs does a dog have if you call the tail a leg? Four. Calling a tail a leg doesn't make it
a leg.
-- Abraham Lincoln Kirk Smeaton
One cannot think well, love well, sleep well, if one has not dined well.
-- Virginia Woolf I would have made a good Pope.
-- Richard Nixon, U.S. President Conscience is the inner voice which warns us that someone may be looking.
-- H. L. Mencken I am returning this otherwise good typing paper to you because someone has printed gibberish all
over it and put your name at the top.
-- English Professor, Ohio University When a thing has been said and said well, have no scruple. Take it and copy it.
-- Anatole France Kirk Smeaton He who conquers himself is the mightiest warrior.
-- Confucius Give her two red roses, each with a note. The first note says "For the woman I love" and the
second, "For my best friend."
-- Anonymous Men. You can't live with them. You don't have to.
-- Seen on a t-shirt Kirk Smeaton
