Kirkby Malzeard - Community guide to the village. Includes maps, history, photos, links to local businesses and further information about the village.
Kirkby Malzeard Cricket Club - Includes match reports, tables, fixtures, and features. Members of the Nidderdale Amateur Cricket League.
"Avoid providing material for the drama that is always stretched tight between parents and children; it uses up much of the children's strength and wastes the love of the elders, which acts and warms When nations grow old, the arts grow cold and commerce settles on every tree.
-- William Blake And in the end it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years.
-- Abraham Lincoln Love is the great miracle cure. Loving ourselves works miracles in our lives.
-- Louise Hay As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain; and as far as they are
certain, they do not refer to reality.
-- Albert Einstein Kirkby Malzeard "I don't understand why people are frightened of new ideas. I'm frightened of the old ones." (John Cage) The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit.
-- W. Somerset Maugham It is dangerous for a national candidate to say things that people might remember.
-- Eugene McCarthy Kirkby Malzeard
I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them.
- Ian L. Fleming Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore, marriage is an institution for the blind. "Use what talents you possess; The woods would be very silent if no birds sang there except those that sang best." (William Blake) Chase after the truth like all hell and you'll free yourself, even though you never touch its
coattails.
-- Clarence Darrow Art and science have their meeting point in method.
-- Edward Bulwer-Lytton Kirkby Malzeard An ideal wife is one who remains faithful to you but tries to be just as charming as if she weren't.
-- Sacha Guitry "You believe that flag burning shows disrespect towards those who have fought to preserve our freedoms. Punishing protestors shows an even more profound disrespect for the ideals that these people die "It is a curious thing that God learned Greek when he wished to turn author--and that he did not learn it better." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Kirkby Malzeard
Treat people as if they were what they ought to be, and you help them to become what they are
capable of being.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe "There cannot be a God because, if there were one, I would not believe that I was not He." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Correction: Instead of being arrested, as we stated, for kicking his wife down a flight of stairs and hurling a lighted kerosene lamp after her, the Rev. James P. Wellman died unmarried four years ago "Fools rush in where angels fear to tread." (Alexander Pope) blah "A subject for a great poet would be God's boredom after the seventh day of creation." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Kirkby Malzeard If we knew what we were doing, it wouldn't be called research, would it?
-- Albert Einstein Meetings are an addictive, highly self-indulgent activity that corporations and other large
organizations habitually engage in only because they cannot actually masturbate.
-- Dave Barry Weaseling out of things is good. It's what separates us from the other animals....except weasels.
-- Homer Simpson, character from The Simpsons, U.S. animated television show Kirkby Malzeard
Once all struggle is grasped, miracles are possible.
-- Mao Tse-tung A beauty is a woman you notice; A charmer is one who notices you.
-- Adlai Stevenson The theory used to be you marry an older man because they are more mature. The new theory is
that men don't mature. So you might as well marry a younger one.
-- Anonymous 2,400,000 Americans play the accordian - hopefully not at the same time.
-- inside of a Pepsi cap We had a lot in common. I loved him and he loved him.
-- Shelley Winters Kirkby Malzeard Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to
us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
-- Jeff Raskin To look backward for a while is to refresh the eye, to restore it, and to render it more fit for its
prime function of looking forward.
-- Margaret Fairless Barber When you are right, you cannot be too radical; When you are wrong, you cannot be too
conservative.
-- Martin Luther King, Jr. Kirkby Malzeard
"A man of genius makes no mistakes; his errors are volitional and are the portals of discovery." (James Joyce) An economic forecaster is like a cross-eyed javelin thrower: they don't win many accuracy
contests, but they keep the crowd's attention.
-- Anonymous In answer to the question of why it happened, I offer the modest proposal that our Universe is
simply one of those things which happen from time to time.
-- Edward P. Tryon Marriage is a matter of give and take, but so far I haven't been able to find anybody who'll take
what I have to give.
-- Cass Daley Why are women so much more interesting to men than men are to women?
-- Virginia Woolf Kirkby Malzeard Any sufficiently advanced bureaucracy is indistinguishable from molasses.
-- Anon. Women are like tea bags; put them in hot water and they get stronger.
-- Eleanor Roosevelt Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the
really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.
-- Mark Twain Kirkby Malzeard
I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don't need.
- Francois-Auguste Rodin (1840-1917), when asked how he managed to make his remarkable
statues "God is dead: but considering the state Man is in, there will perhaps be caves, for ages yet, in which his shadow will be shown." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche, The Joyful Wisdom) Nothing average ever stood as a monument to progress. When progress is looking for a partner it
doesn't turn to those who believe they are only average. It turns instead to those who are forever
sea May you never leave your marriage alive. The man with the best job in the country is the Vice President. All he has to do is get up every
morning and say, "How's the President?"
-- Will Rogers Kirkby Malzeard Hell is a half-filled auditorium.
- Robert Frost If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent him.
-- Voltaire The louder he talked of his honour, the faster we counted our spoons.
-- Emerson, Ralph Waldo Kirkby Malzeard
Whoever called it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
-- Groucho Marx Watching the debate this afternoon it was apparent they loved term limits in the House -- as
Brutus loved Caesar.
-- Bill Moyers He had occasional flashes of silence that made his conversation perfectly delightful.
-- Sydney Smith, referring to Macaulay We can never be sure that the opinion we are endeavoring to stifle is a false opinion; and if we
were sure, stifling it would be an evil still.
-- John Stuart Mill My wife says if I go fishing one more time she's going to leave me. Gosh, I'm going to miss her. Kirkby Malzeard Jealousy is the only vice that gives no pleasure.
-- Anonymous If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.
- Carl Sagan The covers of this book are too far apart.
-- Ambrose Bierce Kirkby Malzeard
English Law prohibits a man from marrying his mother-in-law. This is our idea of useless legislation. Flowers are words which even a baby can understand.
-- Arthur C. Coxe I would rather live and love where death is king than have eternal life where love is not.
-- Robert G. Ingersoll Life is a great big canvas; throw all the paint on it you can.
-- Danny Kaye People need loving the most when they deserve it the least.
-- John Harrigan Kirkby Malzeard I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way
around Chinatown.
-- Woody Allen Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.
-- Philip K. Dick Whether you think that you can, or that you can't, you are usually right.
-- Henry Ford Kirkby Malzeard
Marriage is like a violin. After the music is over, you still have the strings.
-- Anonymous Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves.
-- Abraham Lincoln "I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members." (Groucho Marx) "We live in an age when pizza gets to your home before the police." (Jeff Marder) The Middle Eastern states aren't nations; they're quarrels with borders.
-- P. J. O'Rourke Kirkby Malzeard "Humans beings can always be relied upon to assert, with vigor, their god-given right to be stupid." (Dean Koontz, Seize the Night) Natural ability without education has more often attained to glory and virtue than education
without natural ability.
Cicero (106 BC - 43 BC) When yer in a funk, people in love are a royal pain in the patookus.
-- Portnoy, character in "Outland," comic strip by Berkely Breathed Kirkby Malzeard
An ideal wife is one who remains faithful to you but tries to be just as charming as if she weren't.
-- Sacha Guitry The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon, but that we wait so long to begin it.
-- Anonymous "Murderers have been known to find that young girls give them more trouble than anybody else." (Jean Cocteau, Les Enfants Terribles) "Posterity: you will never know how much it has cost my generation to preserve your freedom. I hope you will make good use of it." (John Quincy Adams) Honor's a good brooch to wear in a man's hat at all times.
-- Jonson, Ben Kirkby Malzeard Long engagements give people the opportunity of finding out each other's character before marriage, which is never advisable. -- Oscar Wilde The course of true love never did run smooth.
-- William Shakespeare "Liberty means responsibility. That is why most men dread it." (George Bernard Shaw) Kirkby Malzeard
A leader in the Democratic Party is a boss, in the Republican Party he is a leader.
Harry S. Truman The difference between 'involvement' and 'commitment' is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the
chicken was 'involved' - the pig was 'committed'.
- unknown When people go to work, they shouldn't have to leave their hearts at home.
-- Betty Bender May you be too good for the world and not good enough for your wife. Ask her to wait a moment - I am almost done.
-- Carl Friedrich Gauss, when informed that his wife was dying Kirkby Malzeard Does anal retentive have a hyphen?
-- Seen on a t-shirt "Eternal vigilance is the price of freedom." (Raymonde Uy) "Our character is what we do when we think no one is looking." (H. Jackson Brown (Jr.) Kirkby Malzeard
