Digital Malham - Information, photographs and maps of the interesting limestone scenery and geographical features around Malham and Goredale.
Malhamdale.com - Guide to local attractions and accommodation, and photos of the area.
However, never daunted, I will cope with adversity in my usual manner...sulking and nausea.
-- Tom K. Ryan The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit.
-- W. Somerset Maugham "College professors are the people who can't hack it in the real world." (William Thomas) Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside a dog, it's too dark to read.
-- Groucho Marx To read a writer is for me not merely to get an idea of what he says, but to go off with him and travel in his company.
Andre Gide Malham No other success can compensate for failure in the home.
-- David O. McKay, Encyclopedia of Mormonism, Advice to parents at General Conference of he
LDS Church, April, 1964 "I do not suppose I shall be remembered for anything. But I don't think about my work in those terms. It is just as vulgar to work for the sake of posterity as to work for the sake of money." (George Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless.
-- Mother Teresa Malham
MARRIAGE, n. The state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress and two
slaves, making in all, two.
-- Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, 1911 And I shall love thee still my dear, Until my wife is wise. It is better to die on your feet than live on your knees.
-- Emiliano Zapata If you want to sing out, sing out, and if you want to be free, be free, 'cause there's a million ways
to be, you know that there are...
-- Cat Stevens, from a song lyric If you never want to see a man again, say, "I love you, I want to marry you, I want to have children..." - they leave skid marks. -- Rita Rudner Malham A man who has never made a woman angry is a failure in life.
-- Christopher Morley May the road rise to meet you. May the wind always be at your back. May the sun shine warm
upon your face, the rains fall soft upon your fields and, until we meet again, may God hold you in
the palm "Bread feeds the body, indeed, but flowers feed also the soul." (The Prophet Mohammad) Malham
The Church is an organism that grows best in an alien society.
-- C. Stacey Woods We cease loving ourselves if no one loves us.
-- Mme de Staël The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
-- Mark Twain "Our lives are repetitious shams--every single day a simulacrum of the previous day. So for Man, he is out to pepper his daily activities with different things--he's fighting against boredom." (Matth Honorable, adj. Afflicted with an impediment in one's reach. In legislative bodies, it is customary
to mention all members as honorable; as, ``the honorable gentleman is a scurvy cur.'
-- Bierce, A Malham If I were to try to read, much less answer, all the attacks made on me, this shop might as well be
closed for any other business.
-- Abraham Lincoln A beauty is a woman you notice; A charmer is one who notices you.
-- Adlai Stevenson America is a large, friendly dog in a very small room. Every time it wags its tail, it knocks over a
chair.
-- Arnold Toynbee Malham
I like nonsense -- it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living. It's a way
of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope...and that enables you to laugh at all The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.
-- Oscar Wilde I sometimes think that God, in creating man, overestimated His ability.
-- Oscar Wilde Patriotism is your conviction that this country is superior to all others because you were born in it.
-- George Bernard Shaw You probably wouldn't worry about what people think of you if you could know how seldom they
do.
-- Olin Miller Malham Grow old with me! The best is yet to be!
-- Robert Browning Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is most important that you do it.
-- Gandhi I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department
store and he asked for my autograph.
-- Shirley Temple Black Malham
Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century.
- Lewis Perelman "A dress makes no sense unless it inspires men to take it off of you." (Francois Sagan) "No drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we're looking for the source of our troubles, we shouldn't test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity, ignorance, g There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called
marriage.
-- James Holt McGavran All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream.
-- Edgar Allan Poe Malham "... What good are dreams if they come true?" (Frederick Exley, A Fan's Notes) Now comes the mystery.
-- Henry Ward Beecher, dying words, March 8, 1887 One cannot think well, love well, sleep well, if one has not dined well.
-- Virginia Woolf Malham
May you be too good for the world and not good enough for your wife. Musical people always want one to be perfectly dumb at the very moment when one is longing to
be perfectly deaf.
-- Oscar Wilde The great art of life is sensation, to feel that we exist, even in pain.
-- Lord Byron Patriotism is your conviction that this country is superior to all others because you were born in it.
-- George Bernard Shaw In this world of sin and sorrow there is always something to be thankful for; as for me, I rejoice
that I am not a Republican.
-- H. L. Mencken Malham The best defense is a good offense.
-- Anonymous Say goodbye to the oldies, but goodies, because the good old days weren't always good and
tomorrow aint as bad as it seems.
-- Billy Joel You can't shake hands with a clenched fist.
-- Indira Gandhi Malham
"It is far better to be alone, than to be in bad company." (George Washington) I have been attacked by Rush Limbaugh on the air, an experience somewhat akin to being
gummed by a newt. It doesn't actually hurt, but it leaves you with slimy stuff on your ankle.
-- Molly Ivins We need a president who's fluent in at least one language.
-- Buck Henry "There is only one success: to be able to spend your life in your own way, and not to give others absurd maddening claims upon it." (Christopher Darlington Morley) The more I know about people, the better I like my dog.
-- Mark Twain Malham "Treat a man as he is, and he will remain as he is. Treat a man as he could be, and he will become what he should be." (Ralph Waldo Emerson) My grandfather once told me that there are two kinds of people: those who work and those who
take the credit. He told me to try to be in the first group; there was less competition there.
-- INDIRA After all, all he did was string together a lot of old, well-known quotations.
-- H. L. Mencken, on Shakespeare Malham
Society is like a stew. If you don't stir it up every once in a while then a layer of scum floats to the
top.
-- Ed Abbey The IRS spends God knows how much of your tax money on these toll-free information hot lines
staffed by IRS employees, whose idea of a dynamite tax tip is that you should print neatly. If you
ask th A good cook is like a sorceress who dispenses happiness.
-- Elsa Schiapirelli "Do not go gentle into that good night. Old age should burn and rave at close of day. Rage, rage against the dying of the light." (Dylan Thomas) I don't know why we are here, but I'm pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves.
- Ludwig Wittgenstein Malham Everything in the world may be endured except continued prosperity.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax--tomorrow you'll be afraid to
cough.
-- Pearl Williams If you find it in your heart to care for somebody else, you will have succeeded.
-- Maya Angelou Malham
There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called
marriage.
-- James Holt McGavran If I were to try to read, much less answer, all the attacks made on me, this shop might as well be
closed for any other business.
-- Abraham Lincoln "Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It's not." (Theodor Seuss Geisel, a.k.a. Dr. Seuss, 1904-1991) "I would rather be exposed to the inconveniences attending too much liberty than to those attending too small a degree of it." (Thomas Jefferson, to Archibald Stuart, 1791) Marriage means commitment. Of course, so does insanity. Malham The voice of the intellect is a soft one, but it does not rest till it has gained a hearing.
-- Sigmund Freud "Think where mans glory most begins and ends, and say my glory was I had such friends." (William Butler Yeats) Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.
-- Philip K. Dick Malham
Parents are the bones upon which children sharpen their teeth.
-- Peter Ustinov It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.
-- Mark Twain There are many things worth living for, there are a few things worth dying for, but there is nothing
worth killing for.
-- Tom Robbins Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils.
-- Hector Louis Berlioz "How can we know the dancer from the dance?" (William Butler Yeats) Malham "The sickness of our times for me has been just this damn thing that everything has been getting smaller and smaller and less and less important, that the romantic spirit has dried up, that there is n Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday.
-- Woody Allen Education is not filling a bucket, but lighting a fire.
-- William Yeats Malham
"Anyone who thinks they're important is usually just a pompous moron who can't deal with his or her own pathetic insignificance and the fact that what they do is meaningless and inconsequential..." ( Too many pieces of music finish too long after the end.
-- Igor Stravinsky Use your own best judgment at all times.
-- The entire Nordstrom's Department Stores policy manual There is no realizable power that man cannot, in time, fashion the tools to attain, nor any power
so secure that the naked ape will not abuse it. So it is written in the genetic cards - only physics When women go wrong, men go right after them.
-- Mae West Malham Youth is wasted on the young.
-- George Bernard Shaw Heav'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn'd, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn'd.
-- William Congreve The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up in the morning, and does
not stop until you get into the office.
-- Robert Frost Malham
