"A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools." (Douglas Adams) If we may believe our logicians, man is distinguished from all other creatures by the
faculty of laughter.
-- Joseph Addison Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler.
-- Albert Einstein Beauty as we feel it is something indescribable; what it is or what it means can never be said.
-- George Santayana Compromise: An amiable arrangement between husband and wife whereby they agree to let her
have her own way.
-- Anonymous Photography Love is stronger than justice.
-- Sting "The only things worth learning are the things you learn after you know it all." (Harry S. Truman) "My daughter has never forgiven me. for what, I don't know, because for years, she won't speak to me. She blackens my name in the press and makes me think abortion is an excellent idea." (Klaus Kinsk Photography
If the government wants people to respect the law, it should set a better example.
-- Anon. Love is the wisdom of the fool and the folly of the wise.
-- Samuel Johnson Disclaimer: Even my wife doesn't agree with everything I say, and she loves me dearly. My employers don't love me nearly as much as she does. Draw your own conclusions. Most turkeys taste better the day after; my mother's tasted better the day before.
-- Rita Rudner "Listen, or your tongue will make you deaf." (Native American Proverb) Photography He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.
- H. H. Munro (Saki) "What sculpture is to a block of marble, education is to a human soul." (Joseph Addison) Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can
never tell.
-- Joan Crawford Photography
The theory used to be you marry an older man because they are more mature. The new theory is that men don't mature. So you might as well marry a younger one. Music is the art of thinking with sounds.
-- Jules Combarieu Good Night, Good night! Parting is such sweet sorrow,
that I shall say good night till it be morrow.
-- Romeo and Juliet, Shakespeare. Act II, Scene II, lines 220-221 The trouble with children is that they are not returnable.
-- Quentin Crisp The difference between a man who faces death for the sake of an idea and an imitator who goes
in search of martyrdom is that the former expresses his idea most fully in death while the latter
really Photography The principle of give and take is the principle of diplomacy - give one and take ten.
-- Mark Twain My initial response was to sue her for defamation of character, but then I realized that I had no
character.
-- Charles Barkley, on hearing Tonya Harding proclaim herself "the Charles Barkley of fig Everyone admits that love is wonderful and necessary, yet no one agrees on just what it is.
-- Diane Ackerman Photography
Marriages are made in heaven and consummated on Earth.
-- John Lyly No woman marries for money; they are all clever enough, before marrying a millionaire, to fall in
love with him first.
-- Cesare Pavese Better keep yourself clean and bright; you are the window through which you must see the world.
-- George Bernard Shaw "I put on an act sometimes, and people think I'm insensitive. Really, it's like a kind of armor because I'm too sensitive. If there are two hundred people in a room and one of them doesn't like me, I' It is never too late to be what you might have been.
-- George Eliot Photography A Code of Honor: Never approach a friend's girlfriend or wife with mischief as your goal. There
are just too many women in the world to justify that sort of dishonorable behavior. Unless she's
reall Life is ours to be spent, not to be saved.
-- D.H. Lawrence Jimmy Carter as President is like Truman Capote marrying Dolly Parton. The job is just too big for
him.
-- Rich Little Photography
There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as
though everything is a miracle.
- Albert Einstein Husband: a man who buys his football tickets four months in advance and waits until December 24 to do his Christmas shopping. Life is like music; it must be composed by ear, feeling, and instinct, not by rule.
-- Samuel Butler Hell hath no fury like a bureaucrat scorned.
-- Milton Friedman I have been attacked by Rush Limbaugh on the air, an experience somewhat akin to being
gummed by a newt. It doesn't actually hurt, but it leaves you with slimy stuff on your ankle.
-- Molly Ivins Photography All over Washington today, the politicians and the power brokers are happy. In fact, if you listen
closely, you can hear the sound of champagne corks popping.
-- Paul Jacob, Term Limits Executive Di "If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee." (Abraham Lincoln, 1809-65) "I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw my bath toys were a toaster and a radio." (Joan Rivers) Photography
Realism is a corruption of reality.
-- Wallace Stevens "If I could drop dead right now, I'd be the happiest man alive." (Samuel Goldwyn) "Like as the waves make towards the pebbl'd shore, so do our minutes, hasten to their end." (William Shakespeare) I dislike arguments of any kind. They are always vulgar, and often convincing.
-- Oscar Wilde Honeymoon: A short period of doting between dating and debting.
-- Ray Bandy Photography In answer to the question of why it happened, I offer the modest proposal that our Universe is
simply one of those things which happen from time to time.
-- Edward P. Tryon Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards.
-- Soren Kierkegaard You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was
60. She's 97 today and we don't know where the hell she is.
-- Ellen DeGeneres Photography
Your goals, minus your doubts, equal your reality.
-- Ralph Marston "In large states public education will always be mediocre, for the same reason that in large kitchens the cooking is usually bad." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Great eaters and great sleepers are incapable of anything else that is great.
-- William Shakespeare, Henry IV Computers will not be perfected until they can compute how much more than the estimate the job
will cost.
-- Anon A man can do what he wants, but not want what he wants.
-- Arthur Schoperhauer Photography If it weren't for marriage, men would spend their lives thinking they had no faults at all.
-- Anonymous "If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee." (Abraham Lincoln, 1809-65) A baby is God's opinion that the world should go on.
-- Carl Sandburg Photography
Good hours, excellent pay, fun place to work, paid training, mean boss. Oh well, four out of five
isn't bad.
-- Help Wanted Ad, PA newspaper, 1994 The telephone company is urging people to *please* not use the telephone unless it is absolutely
necessary in order to keep the lines open for emergency personnel. We'll be right back after this
bre "In large states public education will always be mediocre, for the same reason that in large kitchens the cooking is usually bad." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) And life is what we make it. Always has been, always will be.
-- Grandma Moses We can never be sure that the opinion we are endeavoring to stifle is a false opinion; and if we
were sure, stifling it would be an evil still.
-- John Stuart Mill Photography Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday.
-- Woody Allen "Hold the fort! I am coming!" (General William Tecumseh Sherman) "One must still have chaos in oneself to be able to give birth to a dancing star." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Photography
There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics.
-- Benjamin Disraeli Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man your wife would have preferred. I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people
themselves.
-- August Strindberg Half of the American people never read a newspaper.
Half never voted for President.
One hopes it is the same half.
-- Gore Vidal Love, I find, is like singing. Everybody can do enough to satisfy themselves, though it may not
impress the neighbors as being very much.
-- Zora Neale Hurston Photography 'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.
-- ee cummings Many a man owes his success to his first wife and his second wife to his success.
-- Jim Backus blah "The best students always are flunking. Every good teacher knows that." (Robert M. Pirsig, Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance) Photography
Not only is the universe stranger than we imagine, it is stranger than we can imagine.
Sir Arthur Eddington (1882 - 1944) "It is far better to be alone, than to be in bad company." (George Washington) There are two major products that come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX. We don't believe this to
be a coincidence.
-- Jeremy S. Anderson Airplane travel is nature's way of making you look like your passport photo.
-- Al Gore, U.S. Vice President More light!
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, dying words Photography In the end, everything is a gag.
-- Charlie Chaplin No one finds life worth living; he must make it worth living.
-- Anon. Standing in the middle of the road is very dangerous; you get knocked down by the traffic from
both sides.
-- Margaret Thatcher Photography
A leader in the Democratic Party is a boss, in the Republican Party he is a leader.
Harry S. Truman The less a man thinks or knows about his virtues, the better we like him.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson The backbone of surprise is fusing speed with secrecy.
- Von Clausewitz I have noticed that nothing I have never said ever did me any harm.
-- Calvin Coolidge Our elections are free - it's in the results where eventually we pay.
-- Bill Stern Photography The highest use of capital is not to make more money, but to make money do more for the
betterment of life.
-- Henry Ford "Man was born free and everywhere he is in chains." (Jean-Jacques Rousseau, French philosopher, The Social Contract) Paradoxically though it may seem, it is none the less true that life imitates art far more than art
imitates life.
-- Oscar Wilde Photography
