Coffee is a beverage that puts one to sleep when not drank.
-- Alphonse Allais Sex is God's joke on human beings.
-- Bette Davis blah "This is the hardest of all: to close the open hand out of love, and keep modest as a giver." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare; it is because we do not dare that they are
difficult.
-- Seneca Gravitation cannot be held responsible for people falling in love.
-- Albert Einstein Kimberley What is life? It is the flash of a firefly in the night. It is the breath of a buffalo in the wintertime. It is
the little shadow which runs across the grass and loses itself in the sunset.
-- Crowf You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.
-- Al Capone We love because it's the only true adventure.
-- Nikki Giovanni Kimberley
Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.
- Will Durant Mistress: Something between a mister and a mattress.
-- Anonymous If there is any one proof of a man's incompetence, it is the stagnant mentality of a worker who,
doing some small routine job in a vast undertaking, does not care to look beyond the lever of a
machi Husband: a man who buys his football tickets four months in advance and waits until December 24 to do his Christmas shopping. Consequences, schmonsequences, as long as I'm rich!
-- Chuck Jones-directed cartoon Kimberley "The English have all the material requisites for the revolution. What they lack is the spirit of generalization and revolutionary ardour." (Karl Marx) Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and annoys the pig.
-- Anonymous The full use of your powers along lines of excellence.
- definition of happiness by John F. Kennedy Kimberley
"Courage is found in unlikely places." (John Ronald Reuel Tolkien) I know a dead parrot when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now.... This is an ex-parrot.
-- John Cleese, Monty Python, British comedy television show Question: If you could live forever, would you and why? Answer: I would not live forever, because
we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live
forever, I do not believe in an afterlife, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
-- Woody Allen If we do not maintain Justice, Justice will not maintain us.
-- Francis Bacon Kimberley If one advances confidently in the direction of one's dreams, and endeavours to live the life which
one has imagined, one will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.
-- Henry David Thoreau Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly.
-- Rose Franken Where there is marriage without love, there will be love without marriage.
-- Benjamin Franklin Kimberley
God help the man who won't marry until he finds a perfect woman, and God help him still more if
he finds her.
-- Benjamin Tillett The empires of the future are the empires of the mind.
-- Winston Churchill A small family is soon provided for.
-- English Proverb You can pretend to be serious; you can't pretend to be witty.
- Sacha Guitry Better keep yourself clean and bright; you are the window through which you must see the world.
-- George Bernard Shaw Kimberley You are never given a wish without also being given the power to make it come true.
-- Richard Bach "Children spell love...T-I-M-E." (Dr. Anthony P. Witham) When I give a lecture, I accept that people look at their watches, but what I do not tolerate is
when they look at it and raise it to their ear to find out if it stopped.
-- Marcel Achard Kimberley
"A thing of beauty is a joy forever." (John Keats) He who knows nothing, knows nothing. But he who knows he knows nothing knows something. And he who knows someone whose friend's wife's brother knows nothing, he knows something. Or something like that Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know.
-- Ernest Hemingway If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question?
-- Lily Tomlin "Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow. Don't walk behind me; I may not lead. Walk beside me and just be my friend." (Albert Camus) Kimberley The backbone of surprise is fusing speed with secrecy.
- Von Clausewitz The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing that you will make one.
-- Ellen Hubbard "In every gathering of thirteen, expect one guest will turn out to be a Judas." (Aleister Crowley) Kimberley
Happiness, it is said, is seldom found by those who seek it, and never by those who seek it for
themselves.
-- F. Emerson Andrews "I offer images; I conjure memories of freedom that can still be reached ... But, we can only open the doors. We can't drag people through. I can't free them unless they want to be free--more than any I think of my wife and I think of Lot, and I think of the lucky break he got. I never miss a chance to have sex or appear on television.
-- Gore Vidal Husband: a man who buys his football tickets four months in advance and waits until December 24 to do his Christmas shopping. Kimberley Nothing is beneath you if it is in the direction of your life.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson The best teacher is the one who suggests rather than dogmatizes, and inspires his listener with
the wish to teach himself.
-- Edward Bulwer-Lytton The only thing you will ever be able to say in the so-called 'social' sciences is: "some do, some
don't."
-- Ernest Rutherford Kimberley
"The act of policing is, in order to punish less often, to punish more severely." (Napoleon Bonaparte) "Let no one be discouraged by the belief there is nothing one person can do against the enormous array of the world's ills, misery, ignorance, and violence. Few will have the greatness to bend history More than kisses, letters mingle souls.
-- John Donne Great innovations should not be forced on slender majorities.
-- Thomas Jefferson Love is blind -- marriage is the eye-opener.
-- Pauline Thomason Kimberley Honolulu - it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother. -- Ken Dodd "How can we know the dancer from the dance?" (William Butler Yeats) Youth is wasted on the young.
-- George Bernard Shaw Kimberley
Choose a wife by your ear than your eye.
-- Thomas Fuller, 1732 Nothing says loving like marrying your cousin! -- Al Bundy There are times when parenthood seems nothing but feeding the mouth that bites you.
-- Peter De Vries Don't be so humble - you are not that great.
- Golda Meir (1898-1978) to a visiting diplomat "The only real mistake is the one from which we learn nothing." (John Powell) Kimberley "Be the change that you want to see in the world." (Mohandas Gandhi) Golf is a good walk spoiled.
-- Mark Twain Republican boys date Democratic girls. They plan to marry Republican girls, but feel they're entitled to a little fun first. Kimberley
Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering. "For how can one know color in perpetual green, and what good is warmth without cold to give it sweetness?" (John Steinbeck, Travels With Charley) Work is the curse of the drinking class.
-- Oscar Wilde Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you an
automobile.
-- Billy Sunday Half of the American people never read a newspaper.
Half never voted for President.
One hopes it is the same half.
-- Gore Vidal Kimberley It's important to be open-minded, but not SO open-minded that your brains fall out.
-- Rick Radebaugh "The sickness of our times for me has been just this damn thing that everything has been getting smaller and smaller and less and less important, that the romantic spirit has dried up, that there is n The love we give away is the only love we keep.
-- Elbert Hubbard Kimberley
Guide to understanding a net.addict's day:
Slow day: didn't have much to do, so spent three hours on usenet.
Busy day: managed to work in three hours of usenet.
Bad day: barely squeezed in three ho When one is trying to do something beyond his known powers it is useless to seek the approval
of friends. Friends are at their best in moments of defeat.
-- Henry Miller Early to rise and early to bed.
Makes a male healthy, wealthy and dead.
-- James Thurber Such is life.
-- Ned Kelly, Last words, before being hung at Old Melbourne Gaol This is a test. It is only a test. Had it been an actual job, you would have received raises,
promotions, and other signs of appreciation.
-- Anonymous Kimberley To correct a natural indifference I was placed half-way between misery and the sun. Misery kept
me from believing that all was well under the sun, and the sun taught me that history wasn't
everythin Work is the refuge of people who have nothing better to do.
-- Oscar Wilde Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves.
-- Abraham Lincoln Kimberley
"I think people resist freedom because they're afraid of the unknown. But it's ironic....That unknown was once very well known. It's where are souls belong....The only solution is to confront them--co There are two means of refuge from the misery of life - music and cats.
-- Albert Schweitzer All women are born evil. Some just realize their potential later in life than others.
-- Chad A. Gamble, Escape, short story Under capitalism man exploits man; under socialism the reverse is true.
-- Polish proverb Doctors are the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas
doctors rob you and kill you too.
-- Anton Chekhov Kimberley "We must view young people not as empty bottles to be filled but as candles to be lit." (Robert Shaffer) Criticism is prejudice made plausible.
-- H. L. Mencken When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
-- Sacha Guitry Kimberley
