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Retford Links

Retford United Football Club - Youth and senior football teams. Features results, fixtures, club pages and directions to ground.

Retford Judo Club - News about this club, includes a message board.

Retford Today - Sports information about this area.

Retford Lions Club - Includes activities and recent events.

Old Retfordian - Kind Edward VI Grammar School alumni pages. Memories of the 1970s, photo gallery and school reunion details.

Retford Methodist Circuit - Gathered around this market town, the group is composed of eighteen Churches ranging from small to medium size congregations and buildings. Churches and service times, staff, activities, local information, links and contact.

Penike - Colon hydrotherapy and colonic irrigation clinic. Treatment FAQ, pricing and contact details.

Jewel Control Driving School - Information on vehicles used, instructors, Pass Plus scheme and contact details.

Retford Charter Day - Programme of events for this local festival.

Elizabethan High School - Comprehensive school. Curriculum, school values, timetable, staff vacancies and contact details.

Jamia Al-Karam School - Boarding school for Muslim boys from 11 to 16 years old, and an Islamic studies college. Admission information, facilities and contact details. [Requires Flash]

I am not young enough to know everything. -- Oscar Wilde Reality is nothing but a collective hunch. -- Lily Tomlin Some people go to priests; others to poetry; I to my friends. -- Virginia Woolf, Bernard, in The Waves, 1931; repr. 1943, p. 189 I believe God is managing affairs and that He doesn't need any advice from me. With God in charge, I believe everything will work out for the best in the end. So what is there to worry about. -- Hen History will be kind to me for I intend to write it. -- Winston Churchill Retford Celestial navigation is based on the premise that the Earth is the center of the universe. The premise is wrong, but the navigation works. An incorrect model can be a useful tool. -- Kelvin Throop I "Courage is doing what you're afraid to do. There can be no courage unless you're scared." (Eddie Rickenbacker) If the French were really intelligent, they'd speak English. -- Wilfred Sheed Retford "Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful committed citizens can change the world, indeed it is the only thing that ever has." (Margaret Mead, 1901-78) Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one. -- Albert Einstein "Great work is done by people who are not afraid to be great." (Fernando Flores) The time is always right to do what is right. -- Martin Luther King, Jr. True, we love life, not because we are used to living, but because we are used to loving. There is always some madness in love, but there is also always some reason in madness. -- Friedrich Nietzsch Retford Marriage is a lottery, but you can't tear up your ticket if you lose. -- F. M. Knowles A lover tries to stand in well with the pet dog of the house. -- Moliere Children should be like waffles--you should be able to throw the first one away. -- Mary Alice Messenger Retford "Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future." (Paul Boese) A small family is soon provided for. -- English Proverb May the road rise to meet you. May the wind always be at your back. May the sun shine warm upon your face, the rains fall soft upon your fields and, until we meet again, may God hold you in the palm When you're experimenting you have to try so many things before you choose what you want, and you may go days getting nothing but exhaustion. -- Fred Astaire All television is children's television. -- Richard P. Adler Retford It's not whether you get knocked down, it's whether you get back up. -- Vince Lombardi "Death is only a launching into the region of the strange Untried; it is but the first salutation to the possibilities of the immense Remote, the Wild, the Watery, the Unshored..." (Herman Melville, Great ability develops and reveals itself increasingly with every new assignment. Baltasar Gracian Retford This compact disc is made from analog masters recorded without noise reduction. Half the tracks, in fact, were recorded in a dismal, cheap basement eight-track studio with puddles of water on the fl A woman's always younger than a man of equal years. -Elizabeth Barrett Browning, Aurora Leigh "Listen, or your tongue will make you deaf." (Native American Proverb) The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up in the morning, and does not stop until you get into the office. -- Robert Frost "Fake is as old as the Eden tree." (George Orson Welles) Retford Everything that is really great and inspiring is created by the individual who can labour in freedom. -- Albert Einstein The love we give away is the only love we keep. -- Elbert Hubbard "Try not to have a good time ... This is supposed to be educational." (Charles Schultz) Retford "Life is measured by the rapidity of change, the succession of influences that modify the being." (George Eliot) Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats. - Henry Louis Mencken "I love to doubt as well as know." (Dante Alighieri, 1265-1321) If you would thoroughly know anything, teach it to others. -- Tryon Edwards Never be possessive. If a female friend lets on that she is going out with another man, be kind and understanding. If she says she would like to go out with the Dallas Cowboys, including the coachin Retford Practice random acts of kindness and sensless acts of beauty. -- Adair Lara "Nietzsche was stupid and abnormal." (Leo Tolstoy, 1828-1910) "No one wants a good education. Everyone wants a good degree." (Lee Rudolph) Retford At every crossroads on the path that leads to the future, tradition has placed 10,000 men to guard the past. -- Maurice Maeterlink Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor's Degree and the woman gets her Masters. I regret that I have but one life to give for my country. -- Nathan Hale The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you. -- Woody Allen "The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of the dream." (Eleanor Roosevelt) Retford "He who cannot give anything away cannot feel anything either." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted. - Helen Rowland "One can do without people but one has need of a friend." (Chinese Proverb) Retford To expect defeat is nine-tenths of defeat itself. -- Francis Crawford The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them. - Albert Einstein I have never let my schooling interfere with my education. -- Mark Twain Absence diminishes small loves and increases great ones, as the wind blows out the candle and blows up the bonfire. -- François de La Rouchefoucauld Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards. -- Soren Kierkegaard Retford Man must evolve for all human conflict a method which rejects revenge, aggression and retaliation. the foundation of such a method is love. -- Martin Luther King, Jr. "A conservative is a man with two perfectly good legs who, however, has never learned how to walk forward." (Franklin Delano Roosevelt, 1882 - 1945, 32nd U.S. President) The right to swing my fist ends where the other man's nose begins. - Oliver Wendell Holmes Retford "The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man." (George Bernard Shaw) I was under medication when I made the decision not to burn the tapes. -- Richard Nixon, U.S. President MARRIAGE, n. The state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress and two slaves, making in all, two. -- Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, 1911 "Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution yet." (Mae West) Your goals, minus your doubts, equal your reality. -- Ralph Marston Retford Great innovations should not be forced on slender majorities. -- Thomas Jefferson They're almost inseparable. Sometimes it takes ten people to separate them. -- Anonymous The last good thing written in C++ was the Pachelbel Canon. -- Jerry Olson Retford "Marriage excuses no one the freak's roll-call." (Joe Orton, What the Butler Saw) He who laughs last is generally the last to get the joke. -- Terry Cohen The paradox is really the pathos of intellectual life and just as only great souls are exposed to passions it is only the great thinker who is exposed to what I call paradoxes, which are . . . grand "A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds." (Ralph Waldo Emerson) Wit is educated insolence. - Aristotle Retford "A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized." (Fred Allen) One cardinal rule of marriage should never be forgotten: "Give little, give seldom, and above all, give grudgingly." Otherwise, what could have been a proper marriage could become an orgy of sexual It is amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the credit. -- Harry Truman Retford "True friendship is like sound health; the value of it is seldom known until it is lost." (Charles Caleb Colton) "To err is human; to forgive, divine." (Alexander Pope) The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us. -- Bill Watterson, in his comic strip Calvin and Hobbes A friendship founded on business is better than a business founded on friendship. - John D. Rockefeller As I would not be a slave, so I would not be a master. This expresses my idea of democracy. -- Abraham Lincoln Retford "Friends are those people who know the words to the song in your heart and sing them back to you when you have forgotten the words." (Anonymous) A clever man commits no minor blunders. - Goethe Man and wife make one fool. Retford Silence is as full of potential wisdom and wit as the unhewn marble of a great sculpture. -- Aldous Huxley "To make the individual uncomfortable, that is my task." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) I tried a mail order bride, once, but she was damaged in the mail, and I had to return the unused part for my full refund. Imagine if birds were tickled by feathers. You'd see a flock of birds come by, laughing hysterically! -- Steven Wright Maybe this world is another planet's hell. -- Aldous Huxley Retford "What dies if freedom lives? What lives if freedom dies?" (Lindsay Anderson, British filmmaker, from if.... (1968) Behind every great fortune there is a crime. - Honore de Balzac I would venture to guess that Anon, who wrote so many poems without signing them, was often a woman. -- Virginia Woolf Retford
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