Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them.
- Samuel Palmer If it were weren't for pickpockets, I'd have no sex life at all.
-- Rodney Dangerfield He that would have the fruit must climb the tree.
-- Thomas Fuller, M.D. "There is no such thing as a person that nothing has happened to, and each person's story is as different as his fingertips." (Elsa Lanchester) "Freedom of press is limited to those who own one." (Henry Louis Mencken) Abingdon "Friendship is born at the moment when one person says to another, 'What?! You too! Thought I was the only one.'" (Clive Staples Lewis) "In the future everyone will be famous for fifteen minutes." (Andy Warhol) Conversation, fastidious Goddess, loves blood better than brick, and feasts most subtly on the
human will.
-- Virginia Woolf, Mrs. Dalloway Abingdon
I like two kinds of men: domestic and foreign.
-- Mae West Who controls the past controls the future. Who controls the present controls the past.
-- George Orwell Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson Honolulu - it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother. -- Ken Dodd We have art to save ourselves from the truth.
- Friedrich Nietzsche Abingdon The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money usually costs a
lot less.
-- Brendon Behan The days just before marriage are like a snappy introduction to a tedious book. "I'm so insane, I voted for Eisenhower."
"Oh yeah, well I'm so insane, I voted for Eisenhower TWICE!"
-- Ken Kesey from "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest" Abingdon
"Even death is unreliable. Instead of zero it may be some ghastly hallucination, such as the square root of minus one." (Samuel Beckett) "One of the things about acting is it allows you to live other people's lives without having to pay the price. I've never been one of those actors who has touted myself as a fascinating human being. I "I have great faith in fools; My friends call it self-confidence." (Edger Allen Poe) Children are the only form of immortality that we can be sure of.
-- Peter Ustinov If you want anything done well, do it yourself. This is why most people laugh at their own jokes.
-- Bob Edwards Abingdon It makes no difference who you vote for - the two parties are really one party representing four
percent of the people.
-- Gore Vidal None but a good man is really a living man, and the more good any man does, the more he really
lives. All the rest is death, or belongs to it.
-- Herman Melville English Law prohibits a man from marrying his mother-in-law. This is our idea of useless legislation. Abingdon
Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves.
-- Abraham Lincoln Live your questions now, and perhaps even without knowing it, you will live along some distant
day into your answers.
-- Rainer Maria Rilke In a hierarchy, every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence. Therefore:
? In time, every post tends to be occupied by an employee who is incompetent to carry out its
duties.
? Work The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep.
- Clinton aide George Stephanopolous speaking on Larry King Live Truth can be a dangerous thing. It is quite patient and relentless.
-- R. Scott Richards Abingdon Question: If you could live forever, would you and why? Answer: I would not live forever, because
we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live
forever, "Someday there will be girls and women whose name will no longer mean the mere opposite of the male, but something in itself, something that makes one think not of any compliment and limit, but only o They think they can make fuel from horse manure.... Now, I don't know if your car will be able to
get 30 miles to the gallon, but it's sure gonna put a stop to siphoning.
-- Billie Holliday Abingdon
Never be unfaithful to a lover, except with your wife.
-- P. J. O'Rourke The eyes are not responsible when the mind does the seeing.
-- Publilius Syrus "The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time." (Abraham Lincoln, 1809-65) blah bl "Less is more." (Robert Browning) When you gaze long into the abyss, the abyss also gazes into you.
- Friedrich Nietzsche Abingdon "Wise men learn more from fools, than fools from the wise." (Anonymous) Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced.
-- James Baldwin I still say a church steeple with a lightning rod on top shows a lack of confidence.
-- Doug MacLeod Abingdon
Convictions are more dangerous enemies of truth than lies.
-- Friedrich Nietzsche In the past decade or so, the women's magazines have taken to running home-handyperson
articles suggesting that women can learn to fix things just as well as men. These articles are
apparently based Harpo, she's a lovely person. She deserves a good husband. Marry her before she finds one.
-- Oscar Levant, to Harpo Marx upon meeting Harpo's fiancee Where there is marriage without love, there will be love without marriage.
-- Benjamin Franklin Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action.
- Auric Goldfinger, in Goldfinger by Ian L. Fleming Abingdon "Life is measured by the rapidity of change, the succession of influences that modify the being." (George Eliot) Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has not heart; and any man who is over 30, and is
not a conservative, has no brains.
- Sir Winston Churchill Here's a toast to your new bride who has everything a girl could want in her life, except for good
taste in men!
-- Wedding Toast Abingdon
If you were plowing a field, which would you rather use? Two strong oxen or 1024 chickens?
- Seymour Cray (1925-1996), father of supercomputing "The only man who behaved sensibly was my tailor; he took my measurement anew every time he saw me, while all the rest went on with their old measurements and expected them to fit me." (George Bernar "You can get help from teachers, but you are going to have to learn a lot by yourself, sitting alone in a room." (Theodor Seuss Geisel, a.k.a. Dr. Seuss, 1904-1991, On becoming a writer, NY Times 21 "I love to doubt as well as know." (Dante Alighieri, 1265-1321) Such is life.
-- Ned Kelly, Last words, before being hung at Old Melbourne Gaol Abingdon The crime bill passed by the Senate would reinstate the Federal death penalty for certain violent
crimes: assassinating the President; hijacking an airliner; and murdering a government poultry
inspe If you want a place in the sun, you've got to put up with a few blisters.
-- Abigail Van Buren There are some things which cannot be learned quickly, and time, which is all we have, must be
paid heavily for their acquiring. They are the very simplest things and, because it takes a man's
life Abingdon
Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.
-- Groucho Marx The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech.
-- George Bernard Shaw Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor's Degree and the woman gets her Masters. We in the industry know that behind every successful screenwriter stands a woman. And behind
her stands his wife.
-- Groucho Marx Hell hath no fury like a bureaucrat scorned.
-- Milton Friedman Abingdon No man is good enough to govern another man without that other's consent.
-- Abraham Lincoln The Churches must learn humility as well as teach it.
-- George Bernard Shaw, St. Joan Everything that can be invented has been invented.
- Charles H. Duell, Commissioner, U.S. Office of Patents, 1899 Abingdon
Whoever is not a misanthrope at forty can never have loved mankind.
-- Sebastian Roch Nicolas Chamfort "One may sometimes tell a lie, but the grimace that accompanies it tells the truth." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) There are many things worth living for, there are a few things worth dying for, but there is nothing
worth killing for.
-- Tom Robbins A husband is a guy who tells you when you've got on too much lipstick and helps you with your
girdle when your hips stick.
-- Ogden Nash As for the virtuous poor, one can pity them, of course, but one cannot possibly admire them.
-- Oscar Wilde Abingdon "I always thought a dog-lover was a dog who loved another dog." (James Thurber) For a male and female to live continuously together is...biologically speaking, an extremely
unnatural condition.
-- Robert Briffault I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department
store and he asked for my autograph.
-- Shirley Temple Black Abingdon
"One of the things about acting is it allows you to live other people's lives without having to pay the price. I've never been one of those actors who has touted myself as a fascinating human being. I "Commit yourself to quality from day one ... it's better to do nothing at all than to do something badly." (Mark McCormack) I begin by taking. I shall find scholars later to demonstrate my perfect right.
- Frederick (II) the Great Integrity without knowledge is weak and useless, and knowledge without integrity is dangerous
and dreadful.
-- Samuel Johnson If I have not seen as far as others, it is because giants were standing on my shoulders.
-- Hal Abelson Abingdon Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you said; after marriage,
he'll fall asleep before you finish saying it.
-- Helen Roland Ninety percent of everything is crap.
-- Theodore Sturgeon With this ring I thee wed, with my body I thee worship, and with all my worldly good I thee endow.
-- Wedding Vow, Book of Common Prayer Abingdon
English Law prohibits a man from marrying his mother-in-law. This is our idea of useless legislation. Marriage is a lottery in which men stake their liberty and women their happiness.
-- Madame de Rieux Maybe this world is another planet's hell.
-- Aldous Huxley Effort is only effort when it begins to hurt.
-- Jose Ortega y Gasset Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy.
-- Anonymous Abingdon We know the truth, not only by the reason, but also by the heart.
-- Blaise Pascal, Thoughts, Chap. x. 1., Translated by O. W. Wight If all these sweet young things were laid end to end, I wouldn't be the slightest bit surprised.
-- Dorothy Parker "Growth in wisdom can be measured precisely by decline in bile." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche, Human, All Too Human) Abingdon
