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"True friends, like diamonds, are precious and rare. False friends, like autumn leaves, are found everywhere." (Anonymous) "Eternal vigilance is the price of freedom." (Raymonde Uy) Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon. -- Susan Ertz The theory used to be you marry an older man because they are more mature. The new theory is that men don't mature. So you might as well marry a younger one. Facts are the enemy of truth. - Don Quixote - Man of La Mancha Funeral Services Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes. -- Lewis Grizzard A good marriage is like a casserole, only those responsible for it really know what goes in it. -- Anonymous My loathings are simple: stupidity, oppression, crime, cruelty, soft music. -- Vladimir Nabokov Funeral Services Don't ever take a fence down until you know why it was put up. -- Robert Frost "Expect nothing. Live frugally on surprise." (Alice Walker) "Video games are bad for you? That's what they said about rock 'n roll." (Shigeru Miyamoto, game designer for Nintendo) I was going to change my shirt, but I changed my mind instead. -- Winnie the Pooh More light! -- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, dying words Funeral Services "All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his." (Oscar Wilde, The Importance of Being Earnest) The world has achieved brilliance without conscience. Ours is a world of nuclear giants and ethical infants. -- General Omar Bradley Martyrdom... is the only way in which a man can become famous without ability. George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950), The Devil's Disciple (1901) act 3 Funeral Services He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose -- Jim Elliott The backbone of surprise is fusing speed with secrecy. - Von Clausewitz We make our friends; we make our enemies; but God makes our next door neighbour. -- G. K. Chesterton If you can't feed a hundred people, then feed just one. -- Mother Teresa Never moon a werewolf. -- Mike Binder Funeral Services Always talk to your wife while you're making love... if there's a phone handy. I read the book of Job last night - I don't think God comes out well in it. -- Virginia Woolf "I fear we are not getting rid of God because we still believe in grammar." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Funeral Services "The only things worth learning are the things you learn after you know it all." (Harry S. Truman) Morality consists in suspecting other people of not being legally married. -- George Bernard Shaw The marriage of Marxism and feminism has been like the marriage of husband and wife depicted in English common law: Marxism and feminism are one, and that one is Marxism. --Heidi Hartmann [The Unhappy If I had been around when Rubens was painting, I would have been revered as a fabulous model. Kate Moss? Well, she would have been the paintbrush... -- Dawn French Now is the time for all good men to come to the aid of their country. -- Typewriting exercise Funeral Services "Common sense and education are highly compatible; in fact, neither is worth much without the other." (Donald G. Smith) The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds the most discoveries, is not "Eureka!", but "That's funny..." -- Isaac Asimov Health food makes me sick. -- Calvin Trillin Funeral Services Grove giveth and Gates taketh away. - Bob Metcalfe (inventor of Ethernet) on the trend of hardware speedups not being able to keep up with software demands A conference is a gathering of important people who singly can do nothing, but together can decide that nothing can be done. -- Fred Allen The true spirit of conversation consists in building on another man's observation, not overturning it. -- Edward Bulwer-Lytton "In fact, most deaths are not tragic. Few people die because of a flaw in character, which is the essential element of tragedy. They just die." (John Chancellor, The News Business) Behind every great fortune there is a crime. - Honore de Balzac Funeral Services Never apologize for showing feeling. When you do so you apologize for truth. -- Benjamin Disraeli Love is what we are born with. Fear is what we learn. The spiritual journey is the unlearning of fear and prejudices and the acceptance of love back in our hearts. Love is the essential reality and The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up in the morning, and does not stop until you get into the office. -- Robert Frost Funeral Services The gods gave man fire and he invented fire engines. They gave him love and he invented marriage. An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field. -- Niels Bohr A man's feet should be planted in his country, but his eyes should survey the world. -- George Santayana There is no realizable power that man cannot, in time, fashion the tools to attain, nor any power so secure that the naked ape will not abuse it. So it is written in the genetic cards - only physics "I run to see who has the most guts." (Steve Roland Prefontaine) Funeral Services The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good. - Samuel Johnson Great innovations should not be forced on slender majorities. -- Thomas Jefferson What kills a skunk is the publicity it gives itself. -- Abraham Lincoln Funeral Services If someone had told me I would be Pope one day, I would have studied harder. -- Pope John Paul I If excessive smoking actually plays a role in the production of lung cancer, it seems to be a minor one. -- Dr. W.C. Heuper of the National Cancer Institute, as quoted in the New York Times on Apri blah "It is a grand mistake to think of being great without goodness and I pronounce it as certain that there was never a truly great man that was not at the same time truly virtuous." (Benjamin Fran You don't have to suffer to be a poet; adolescence is enough suffering for anyone. -- John Ciardi Feminists are OK, I just wouldn't want my sister to marry one Funeral Services Marriage is like a cage--one sees the birds outside desperate to get in and those inside equally desparate to get out. -- Di Peatlins "How wondrous familiar is a fool!" (Herman Melville, Moby Dick) "The face is the soul of the body." (Ludwig Wittgenstein) Funeral Services The greatest discovery of my generation is that human beings can alter their lives by altering their attitudes of mind. -- William James "Man was born free and everywhere he is in chains." (Jean-Jacques Rousseau, French philosopher, The Social Contract) Sir, I would rather be right than be President. -- Henry Clay, Speech, 1850, referring to the Compromise Measure Patriotism is the virtue of the vicious. -- Oscar Wilde Some people go to priests; others to poetry; I to my friends. -- Virginia Woolf, Bernard, in The Waves, 1931; repr. 1943, p. 189 Funeral Services I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. -- Groucho Marx "Discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishments." (Anonymous) There are trivial truths, and there are great truths. The opposite of a trivial truth is plainly false. The opposite of a great truth is also true. -- Neils Bohr Funeral Services "Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance, or a stranger." (Franklin P. Jones) Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves. -- Carl Gustav Jung "The face is the soul of the body." (Ludwig Wittgenstein) "I would rather be exposed to the inconveniences attending too much liberty than to those attending too small a degree of it." (Thomas Jefferson, to Archibald Stuart, 1791) My wife says if I go fishing one more time she's going to leave me. Gosh, I'm going to miss her. Funeral Services Trying to determine what is going on in the world by reading newspapers is like trying to tell the time by watching the second hand of a clock. -- Ben Hecht "So little done, so much to do." (Cecil Rhodes) "In times of change learners inherit the earth; while the learned find themselves beautifully equipped to deal with a world that no longer exists." (Eric Hoffer) Funeral Services You got to be careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there. -- Yogi Berra "Some people must go to extremes to get the world in balance for themselves. Some can't bear bright lights, so wherever they go they search for the dark; they turn the lights down, anything to sustain Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they're yours. - Richard Bach With this ring I thee wed, with my body I thee worship, and with all my worldly good I thee endow. -- Wedding Vow, Book of Common Prayer "There is no sin except stupidity." (Oscar Wilde) Funeral Services There are only two things a child will share willingly communicable diseases and his mother's age. -- Modern Maturity A university professor set an examination question in which he asked what is the difference between ignorance and apathy. The professor had to give an A+ to a student who answered: I don't know and Love is what we are born with. Fear is what we learn. The spiritual journey is the unlearning of fear and prejudices and the acceptance of love back in our hearts. Love is the essential reality and Funeral Services If the facts don't fit the theory, change the facts. -- Albert Einstein "Humans beings can always be relied upon to assert, with vigor, their god-given right to be stupid." (Dean Koontz, Seize the Night) Happiness, it is said, is seldom found by those who seek it, and never by those who seek it for themselves. -- F. Emerson Andrews "Expect nothing. Live frugally on surprise." (Alice Walker) I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph. -- Shirley Temple Black Funeral Services God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh. -- Voltaire Why are women so much more interesting to men than men are to women? -- Virginia Woolf Any sufficiently advanced bureaucracy is indistinguishable from molasses. -- Anon. Funeral Services
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