What I have to say is far more important than how long my eyelashes are.
-- Alanis Morissette, singer, 1995 "People who cease to believe in God or goodness altogether still believe in the devil. I don't know why. No, I do indeed know why. Evil is always possible. And goodness is eternally difficult." (Anne "I think all great innovations are built on rejections." (Louis-Ferdinand Céline) Better keep yourself clean and bright; you are the window through which you must see the world.
-- George Bernard Shaw Love, I find, is like singing. Everybody can do enough to satisfy themselves, though it may not
impress the neighbors as being very much.
-- Zora Neale Hurston Home and Garden We are not in a position in which we have nothing to work with. We already have capacities,
talents, direction, missions, callings.
-- Abraham Maslow "What is tolerance? -- it is the consequence of humanity. We are all formed of frailty and error; let us pardon reciprocally each other's folly -- that is the first law of nature." (Francois Marie Ar "Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful committed citizens can change the world, indeed it is the only thing that ever has." (Margaret Mead, 1901-78) Home and Garden
I married beneath me. All women do.
-- Lady Nancy Astor, attributed Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to
us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
-- Jeff Raskin The telephone company is urging people to *please* not use the telephone unless it is absolutely
necessary in order to keep the lines open for emergency personnel. We'll be right back after this
bre It is amazing at how small a price may the wedding ring be placed upon a worthless hand; but, by
the beauty of our law, what heaps of gold are indispensable to take it off!
-- Douglas Jerold, 1858 I used to be Snow White, but I drifted.
-- Mae West Home and Garden People need loving the most when they deserve it the least.
-- John Harrigan "A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized." (Fred Allen) After all, all he did was string together a lot of old, well-known quotations.
-- H. L. Mencken, on Shakespeare Home and Garden
The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon, but that we wait so long to begin it.
-- Anonymous Everything in the world may be endured except continued prosperity.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe "Expose yourself to your deepest fear; after that, fear has no power, and the fear of freedom shrinks and vanishes. You are free." (James Douglas Morrison, lead singer of The Doors) We have art to save ourselves from the truth.
- Friedrich Nietzsche Avoid having your ego so close to your position that when your position falls, your ego goes with
it.
-- Colin Powell Home and Garden "The great aim of education is not knowledge but action." (Herbert Spencer) Curiosity will conquer fear even more than bravery will.
-- James Stephens True friendship can afford true knowledge. It does not depend on darkness and ignorance.
-- Henry David Thoreau Home and Garden
It is not because it is difficult that we do not dare; it is because we do not dare that things are
difficult.
-- Lucius Anneaus Seneca Suicide is belated acquiescence in the opinion of one's wife's relatives. In the book of life, the answers aren't in the back.
-- Charlie Brown, character in "Peanuts" comic strip, created by Charles Schultz "If you light a man a fire, he will be warm for a day; if you light a man on fire, he will be warm for the rest of his life." (Anonymous) Football incorporates the two worst elements of American society: violence punctuated by
committee meetings.
-- George F. Will, journalist, political commentator, 1994 Home and Garden A team effort is a lot of people doing what I say.
-- Michael Winner No woman marries for money; they are all clever enough, before marrying a millionaire, to fall in
love with him first.
-- Cesare Pavese Black holes are where God divided by zero.
- Steven Wright Home and Garden
I tried a mail order bride, once, but she was damaged in the mail, and I had to return the unused part for my full refund. The last good thing written in C++ was the Pachelbel Canon.
-- Jerry Olson "Love is blind; friendship closes its eyes." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Patriotism is the last refuge of the scoundrel.
-- Samuel Johnson There is nothing that can be said by mathematical symbols and relations which cannot also be
said by words. The converse, however, is false. Much that can be and is said by words cannot
successfully Home and Garden "Any intelligent woman who reads the marriage contract, and then goes into it, deserves all the consequences." (Isadora Duncan) Cliches should be avoided like the plague.
-- Anon. The best defense is a good offense.
-- Anonymous Home and Garden
Ah, well, then I suppose I shall have to die beyond my means.
-- Oscar Wilde, dying words I love children, especially when they cry, for then someone takes them away.
-- Nancy Mitford "Boredom is a vital problem for the moralist, since at least half the sins of mankind are caused by the fear of it." (Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 1872-1970) "The first duty of a revolutionary is to get away with it." (Abbie Hoffman) We need a president who's fluent in at least one language.
-- Buck Henry Home and Garden To keep your marriage brimming, with love in the wedding cup, whenever you're wrong, admit it;
whenever you're right, shut up.
-- Ogden Nash Too bad all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving cabs and cutting hair.
-- George Burns It is well, when judging a friend, to remember that he is judging you with the same godlike and
superior impartiality.
-- Arnold Bennett Home and Garden
"One of the great dangers in having a career is getting bored." (Itzhak Perlman) Shotgun wedding: a case of wife or death You have to kiss a lot of toads before you find a handsome prince.
-- American Proverb Marriage is low down, but you spend the rest of your life paying for it.
-- Baskins "The hardest thing to learn in life is which bridge to cross and which to burn." (David Russell) Home and Garden Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.
-- Anonymous It is amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the credit.
-- Harry Truman Just buy a box of popcorn and a Coca-Cola and sit back and watch.
-- James Carville, Clinton advisor, offering advice for Democrats on the term-limits vote in the
House Home and Garden
"Does wisdom perhaps appear on the earth as a raven which is inspired by the smell of carrion?" (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Husband: a man who buys his football tickets four months in advance and waits until December 24 to do his Christmas shopping. The instinct of nearly all societies is to lock up anybody who is truly free. First, society begins by
trying to beat you up. If this fails, they try to poison you. If this fails too, the finish by l LOVE, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage or by removal of the patient from the
influences under which he incurred the disorder... It is sometimes fatal, but more frequently to the
physician Some people go to priests; others to poetry; I to my friends.
-- Virginia Woolf Home and Garden We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we
respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart.
-- H. L. Mencken I don't want to achieve immortality through my work... I want to achieve it by not dying!
-- Woody Allen Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
-- George Clemenceau Home and Garden
"Man is a strange animal. He generally cannot read the handwriting on the wall until his back is up against it." (Adlai Stevenson) Most people think life sucks, and then you die. Not me. I beg to differ. I think life sucks, then you
get cancer, then your dog dies, your wife leaves you, the cancer goes into remission, you get a
"Pay no attention to what the critics say; there has never been set up a statue in honor of a critic." (Jean Sibelius) I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about "short" and
"cheap"?
-- Phyllis Diller He early on let her know who is the boss. He looked her right in the eye and clearly said, "You're
the boss."
-- Anonymous Home and Garden Why bother with marriage? Just find a woman you hate and buy her a house. Your life and my life flow into each other as wave flows into wave, and unless there is peace and
joy and freedom for you, there can be no real peace or joy or freedom for me. To see reality--not
as Work is the curse of the drinking class.
-- Oscar Wilde Home and Garden
Imagine if birds were tickled by feathers. You'd see a flock of birds come by, laughing hysterically!
-- Steven Wright Three o'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do.
- Jean-Paul Sartre Live truth instead of professing it.
-- Elbert Hubbard We have art to save ourselves from the truth.
- Friedrich Nietzsche If we were not all so interested in ourselves, life would be so uninteresting that none of us would
be able to endure it.
-- Schopenhauer Home and Garden Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
- George Burns I'd marry again if I found a man who had 15 million and would sign over half of it to me before the
marriage and guarantee he'd be dead within a year.
-- Bette Davis Don't bother just to be better than your contemporaries or predecessors. Try to be better than
yourself.
-- William Faulkner Home and Garden
"In order to keep anything cultural, logical, or ideological, you have to reinvent the reality of it." (Ani Difranco) If we let people see that kind of thing, there would never again be any war.
-- Pentagon official, on why US military censored graphic footage from the Gulf War Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when
people laugh.
-- George Bernard Shaw A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.
- Paul Erdos I shall return.
-- General Douglas MacArthur Home and Garden It takes two to speak truth --One to speak, and another to hear.
-- Henry David Thoreau Nothing can so alienate a voter from the political system as backing a winning candidate.
-- Mark B. Cohen Man is the only animal that laughs and has a state legislature.
-- Samuel Butler Home and Garden
