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There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home. - Ken Olson, president, chairman and founder of Digital Equipment Corp., 1977 "To live in the hearts we leave behind is not to die." (Thomas Campbell) However, never daunted, I will cope with adversity in my usual manner...sulking and nausea. -- Tom K. Ryan The work of internal government has become the task of controlling the thousands of fifth-rate men. -- Henry B. Adams "The rules for parents are but three... Love, Limit, and Let them be." (Elaine M. Ward) Services "Ask five economists and you'll get five different answers (six if one went to Harvard)." (Edgar R. Fiedler) Virtue is like health: the harmony of the whole man. -- Thomas Carlyle Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering. -- Anonymous Services blah "You can lead a man to Congress, but you can't make him think." (Milton Berle) The backbone of surprise is fusing speed with secrecy. - Von Clausewitz "Learn from the mistakes of others--you can never live long enough to make them all yourself." (John Luther) In the end, everything is a gag. - Charlie Chaplin Love thy neighbor, but make sure her husband is away first. Services "Death where is thy sting? Love, where is thy glory?" (William Shakespeare) My grandfather once told me that there are two kinds of people: those who work and those who take the credit. He told me to try to be in the first group; there was less competition there. -- INDIRA The telephone company is urging people to *please* not use the telephone unless it is absolutely necessary in order to keep the lines open for emergency personnel. We'll be right back after this bre Services Generations to come will find it difficult to believe that a man such as Gandhi ever walked the face of this earth. -- Albert Einstein My initial response was to sue her for defamation of character, but then I realized that I had no character. -- Charles Barkley, on hearing Tonya Harding proclaim herself "the Charles Barkley of fig In marriage, as in war, it is permitted to take every advantage of the enemy. He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose -- Jim Elliott ...the fog is rising. -- Emily Dickinson, dying words Services He didn't say that. He was reading what was given to him in a speech. -- Richard Darman, director of OMB, explaining why President Bush wasn't following up on his campaign pledge that there would be "Think where mans glory most begins and ends, and say my glory was I had such friends." (William Butler Yeats) "I love to doubt as well as know." (Dante Alighieri, 1265-1321) Services "I've decided something: Commercial things really do stink. As soon as it becomes commercial for a mass market it really stinks." (Andy Warhol, The Andy Warhol Diaries, 1989) One cannot think well, love well, sleep well, if one has not dined well. -- Virginia Woolf Thought is action in rehearsal. -- Sigmund Freud Sir, I would rather be right than be President. -- Henry Clay, Speech, 1850, referring to the Compromise Measure "The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of the dream." (Eleanor Roosevelt) Services Neither fire nor wind, birth nor death can erase our good deeds. -- Buddha My wife ran off with my best friend last week. I miss him! "You make 'em, I amuse 'em." (Theodor Seuss Geisel, a.k.a. Dr. Seuss, 1904-1991, on children) Services You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where the hell she is. -- Ellen DeGeneres Marriage: A ceremony in which rings are put on the finger of the lady and around the hands and feet of the man. The first duty of a lecturer: to hand you after an hour's discourse a nugget of pure truth to wrap up between the pages of your notebooks, and keep on the mantlepiece forever. -- Virginia Woolf "I am interested in anything about revolt, disorder , chaos--especially activity that seems to have no meaning. It seems to me to be the road toward freedom ... Rather than starting inside, I start ou Ask her to wait a moment - I am almost done. -- Carl Friedrich Gauss, when informed that his wife was dying Services It is much more comfortable to be mad and know it, than to be sane and have one's doubts. - G. B. Burgin There is nothing more notable in Socrates than that he found time, when he was an old man, to learn music and dancing, and thought it time well spent. -- Michel de Montaigne If God does not exist, then everything is permitted. -- Fyodor Dostoevsky, The Devils Services The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing. One cannot help but be in awe when he contemplates the mysteries of eternity, of life, of the marvelous str Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo. - H. G. Wells It is always right that a man should be able to render a reason for the faith that is within him. -- Sydney Smith Creativity is the sudden cessation of stupidity. -- Edward H. Land I am not young enough to know everything. -- Oscar Wilde Services If a thing is worth doing at all, it is worth doing badly. -- Gustav Holst, on amateur music-making "He who can, does. He who cannot, teaches." (George Bernard Shaw) If you are going through hell, keep going. - Sir Winston Churchill Services Look not mournfully into the Past. It comes not back again. Wisely improve the Present. It is thine. Go forth to meet the shadowy Future, without fear, and with a manly heart. -- Henry Wadsworth Lo "It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so." (Mark Twain) Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something. -- Pancho Villa, dying words I'm proud to be paying taxes in the United States. The only thing is - I could be just as proud for half the money. -- Arthur Godfrey A straight line is the shortest in morals as in mathematics. -- Maria Edgeworth Services "Guard with jealous attention the public liberty. Suspect every one who approaches that jewel. Unfortunately, nothing will preserve it but downright force. Whenever you give up that force, you are ine God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh. -- Voltaire The most exciting attractions are between two opposites that never meet. -- Andy Warhol Services Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. - Albert Einstein "These are days you'll remember." If you recall nothing else from your graduation ceremony, remember you heard the New Jersey Governor quote from 10,000 Maniacs. -- Christine Todd, NJ Governor, Whea Intelligence has nothing to do with politics. -- Londo Molari Asking an incumbent member of Congress to vote for term limits is a bit like asking a chicken to vote for Colonel Sanders. -- Bob Inglis, 1995 "There is no quality in this world that is not what it is merely by contrast. Nothing exists in itself." (Herman Melville) Services Where there is marriage without love, there will be love without marriage. -- Benjamin Franklin "Deep down, no one really believes they have a right to live. But this death sentence generally stays tucked away, hidden beneath the difficulty of living. If that difficulty is removed from time to t "Love is blind; friendship closes its eyes." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Services There is only one kind of love, but there are a thousand imitations. -- François de La Rouchefoucauld "There is only one thing more painful than learning from experience and that is not learning from experience." (Archibald McLeish) Organic chemistry is the chemistry of carbon compounds. Biochemistry is the study of carbon compounds that crawl. -- Mike Adams Idealism increases in direct proportion to one's distance from the problem. -- John Galsworthy I didn't accept it. I received it. -- Richard Allen, National Security Advisor to President Reagan, explaining the $1000 in cash and two watches he was given by two Japanese journalists after he hel Services "Man looks in the abyss, there's nothing staring back at him. At that moment, man finds his character. And that is what keeps him out of the abyss." (Hal Holbrook, Wallstreet) A husband is what's left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted. -- Helen Rowland "You make 'em, I amuse 'em." (Theodor Seuss Geisel, a.k.a. Dr. Seuss, 1904-1991, on children) Services Marriage is an adventure, like going to war. -- G. K. Chesterton That men do not learn very much from the lessons of history is the most important of all the lessons that history has to teach. -- Aldous Huxley "If a man does not make new acquaintances as he advances through life, he will soon find himself left alone. A man, sir, should keep his friendship in a constant repair." (Samuel Johnson) Most rock journalism is people who can't write interviewing people who can't talk for people who can't read. -- Frank Zappa We have art to save ourselves from the truth. - Friedrich Nietzsche Services Marrying a man is like buying something you've been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn't always go with everything in the house. -- Jean Ke The greatest test of courage on earth is to bear defeat without losing heart. -- Robert G. Ingersoll A person is not given integrity. It results from the relentless pursuit of honesty at all times. -- Anon. Services "The formula for my happiness: a Yes, a No, a straight line, a goal." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) "A new baby is like the beginning of all things--wonder, hope, a dream of possibilities." (Eda J. Le Shan) Remember your dreams. -- Maryanne Radmacher-Herhey I have been attacked by Rush Limbaugh on the air, an experience somewhat akin to being gummed by a newt. It doesn't actually hurt, but it leaves you with slimy stuff on your ankle. -- Molly Ivins "People demand freedom only when they have no power." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Services A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer. Robert Frost (1874-1963) If you cannot be the master of your language, you must be its slave. If you cannot examine your thoughts, you have no choice but to think them, however silly they may be. -- Richard Mitchell, from God help the man who won't marry until he finds a perfect woman, and God help him still more if he finds her. -- Benjamin Tillett Services
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