A poem is never finished, only abandoned.
-- Paul Valery I just need enough to tide me over until I need more.
-- Bill Hoest Marriage is low down, but you spend the rest of your life paying for it.
-- Baskins "If all men knew what others say of them, there would not be four friends in the world." (Blaise Pascal) We can say 'Peace on Earth,' we can sing about it, preach about it or pray about it, but if we have
not internalized the mythology to make it happen inside us, then it will not be.
-- Betty Shabazz Colleges and Universities Marriage is an adventure, like going to war.
-- G. K. Chesterton "In literary criticism the critic has no choice but to make over the victim of his attention into something the size and shape of himself." (John Steinbeck, Travels With Charley) If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough.
- Mario Andretti Colleges and Universities
Obedience is the gateway through which knowledge, yes, and love, too, enter the mind of the
child.
-- Anne Sullivan Our elections are free - it's in the results where eventually we pay.
-- Bill Stern If God created us in His image we have certainly returned the compliment.
-- Voltaire They think they can make fuel from horse manure.... Now, I don't know if your car will be able to
get 30 miles to the gallon, but it's sure gonna put a stop to siphoning.
-- Billie Holliday That is the best -- to laugh with someone because you think the same things are funny.
-- Gloria Vanderbilt Colleges and Universities Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.
-- George Jean Nathan Long engagements give people the opportunity of finding out each other's character before
marriage, which is never advisable.
-- Oscar Wilde Laundry increases exponentially in the number of children.
-- Miriam Robbins Colleges and Universities
Problems worthy of attack prove their worth by fighting back.
- Paul Erdos In the sciences, we are now uniquely privileged to sit side by side with the giants on whose
shoulders we stand.
-- Gerald Holton People need loving the most when they deserve it the least.
-- John Harrigan "Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution yet." (Mae West) "Pay no attention to what the critics say; there has never been set up a statue in honor of a critic." (Jean Sibelius) Colleges and Universities "The most instructive experiences are those of everyday life." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) "Transport of the mails, transport of the human voice, transport of flickering pictures--in this century as in others our highest accomplishments still have the single aim of bringing men together." The IRS spends God knows how much of your tax money on these toll-free information hot lines
staffed by IRS employees, whose idea of a dynamite tax tip is that you should print neatly. If you
ask th Colleges and Universities
"Experience is not what happens to a man. It is what a man does with what happens to him." (Aldous Huxley) "Guard with jealous attention the public liberty. Suspect every one who approaches that jewel. Unfortunately, nothing will preserve it but downright force. Whenever you give up that force, you are ine Nothing says loving like marrying your cousin! -- Al Bundy Not much meat on her, but what's there is choice.
-- Spencer Tracy, about Katharine Hepburn The paradox is really the pathos of intellectual life and just as only great souls are exposed to
passions it is only the great thinker who is exposed to what I call paradoxes, which are . . .
grand Colleges and Universities An economist is a man who states the obvious in terms of the incomprehensible.
-- Alfred A. Knopf I have lost friends, some by death, others through sheer inability to cross the street.
-- Virginia Woolf All marriages are happy--it's the living together afterward that causes all the problems. Colleges and Universities
The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it's just sort of a tired feeling.
-- Paula Poundstone Genius is an African who dreams up snow.
-- Vladimir Nabokov "Ah! Don't say you agree with me. When people agree with me I always feel that I must be wrong." (Oscar Wilde) "It is my ambition to say in ten sentences what other men say in whole books--what other men do not say in whole books." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche, Twilight of the Idols) Marriage is a romance in which the hero dies in the first chapter.
-- Anonymous Colleges and Universities "May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house." (George Carlin) Honorable, adj. Afflicted with an impediment in one's reach. In legislative bodies, it is customary
to mention all members as honorable; as, ``the honorable gentleman is a scurvy cur.'
-- Bierce, A Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives.
-- John Stuart Mill Colleges and Universities
"Once spirit was God, then it became man, and now it is even becoming mob." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) "Those who feel certainty are stupid and those with any imagination or understanding are filled with doubt and indecision." (Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 1872-1970) No one can earn a million dollars honestly.
- William Jennings Bryan "There is only one thing more painful than learning from experience and that is not learning from experience." (Archibald McLeish) Success is just a matter of attitude.
-- Darcy E. Gibbons Colleges and Universities Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils.
-- Hector Louis Berlioz When a girl marries, she exchanges the attentions of many men for the inattention of one.
-- Helen Rowland The sun never sets on the British empire because Britain is in the east and the sun sets in the
west.
-- Unknown history student Colleges and Universities
Work expands to fill the time available.
-- PARKINSON'S LAW "Majority rule only works if you're also considering individual rights. Because you can't have five wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for supper." (Larry Flynt) I didn't have time to write a short letter, so I wrote a long one instead.
-- Mark Twain You can pay attention to the fact, in which case you'll probably become a mathematician, or you
can ignore it, in which case you'll probably become a physicist.
-- Len Evans, professor, Northwestern Love is the answer, but while you're waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good
questions.
-- Woody Allen Colleges and Universities I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.
-- W. C. Fields In a cat's eyes, all things belong to cats.
-- English Proverb You can close your eyes to reality, but not to memories.
-- Stanislaw J. Lem Colleges and Universities
There is no sincerer love than the love of food.
-- George Bernard Shaw If it were weren't for pickpockets, I'd have no sex life at all.
-- Rodney Dangerfield Live your questions now, and perhaps even without knowing it, you will live along some distant
day into your answers.
-- Rainer Maria Rilke Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well.
-- Josh Billings It is not because it is difficult that we do not dare; it is because we do not dare that things are
difficult.
-- Lucius Anneaus Seneca Colleges and Universities If you have any trouble sounding condescending, find a Unix user to show you how it's done.
-- Scott Adams Everyone admits that love is wonderful and necessary, yet no one agrees on just what it is.
-- Diane Ackerman I guess the only way to stop divorce is to stop marriage.
-- Will Rogers Colleges and Universities
I was a pilot flying an airplane and it just so happened that where I was flying made what I was
doing spying.
-- Francis Gary Power, U-2 reconnaissance pilot held by the Soviets for spying, in an i Usenet is like a herd of performing elephants with diarrhea -- massive, difficult to redirect, awe-
inspiring, entertaining, and a source of mind-boggling amounts of excrement when you least
expect i Do not be too timid and squeamish about your actions. All life is an experiment. The more
experiments you make the better. What if they are a little course, and you may get your coat
soiled or torn? I believe God is managing affairs and that He doesn't need any advice from me. With God in
charge, I believe everything will work out for the best in the end. So what is there to worry about.
-- Hen Giving a man space is like giving a dog a computer: the chances are he will not use it wisely.
-- Bette-Jane Raphael Colleges and Universities Marriage is a matter of give and take, but so far I haven't been able to find anybody who'll take what I have to give. -- Cass Daley Pleasure in the job puts perfection in the work.
-- Aristotle The grass may be greener on the other side of the fence, but you still have to mow it.
-- Anonymous Colleges and Universities
I have lost friends, some by death, others through sheer inability to cross the street.
-- Virginia Woolf People, like nails, lose their effectiveness when they lose direction and begin to bend.
-- Walter Savage Landor Sex is the mathematics urge sublimated.
-- M. C. Reed Humanity has advanced, when it has advanced, not because it has been sober, responsible, and
cautious, but because it has been playful, rebellious, and immature.
-- Tom Robbins When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the
problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.
- Buckminster Colleges and Universities The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline
luggage.
-- Mark Russell It was very good of God to let Carlyle and Mrs Carlyle marry one another and so make only two people miserable instead of four, besides being very amusing. The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.
-- Lily Tomlin Colleges and Universities
[You reporters] should have printed what he meant, not what he said.
-- Earl Bush, press aide to Richard Daley "Liberty means responsibility. That is why most men dread it." (George Bernard Shaw) LOVE, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage or by removal of the patient from the
influences under which he incurred the disorder... It is sometimes fatal, but more frequently to the
physician "The concerned investment banker is the one who blows the horn on his Mercedes as he drives through a red light." (Anonymous) A government is the only known vessel that leaks from the top.
-- James Reston Colleges and Universities "He who can, does. He who cannot, teaches." (George Bernard Shaw) I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial.
- Irvin S. Cobb Meetings are an addictive, highly self-indulgent activity that corporations and other large
organizations habitually engage in only because they cannot actually masturbate.
-- Dave Barry Colleges and Universities
