Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
-- Seen on a bumper sticker Nothing says loving like marrying your cousin! -- Al Bundy "The feminists used to say that chivalry and ladyhood were ways of keeping women down and preventing them from standing toe to toe with the guys. Now you've got a lot of women saying that if a guy is "Excellence is in the details. Give attention to the details and excellence will come." (Perry Paxton) Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday.
-- Woody Allen Football Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
-- H. L. Mencken "I praise loudly. I blame softly." (Catherine the Great) "The only real mistake is the one from which we learn nothing." (John Powell) Football
"Education is the period during which you are being instructed by somebody you do not know, about something you do not want to know." (Gilbert Keith Chesterton) You cannot create experience. You must undergo it.
-- Albert Camus And now, in keeping with Channel 40's policy of always bringing you the latest in blood and guts,
in living color, you're about to see another first -- an attempted suicide.
-- Chris Hubbock, who sh Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.
- Henry Ford Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson Football A patriot must always be ready to defend his country against his government.
-- Edward Abbey If life were predictable it would cease to be life, and be without flavor.
-- Eleanor Roosevelt The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious.
-- Albert Einstein Football
Love is the answer, but while you're waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good
questions.
-- Woody Allen No one really listens to anyone else, and if you try it for a while you'll see why.
-- Mignon McLaughlin "The last Christian died on the cross." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) A woman seldom asks advice before she has bought her wedding clothes.
-- Joseph Addison Experience is not what happens to you; it's what you do with what happens to you.
-- Aldous Huxley Football You can only find truth with logic if you have already found truth without it.
- Gilbert Keith Chesterton The real test of friendship is: Can you literally do nothing with the other person? Can you enjoy
together those moments of life that are utterly simple? They are the moments people looks back
on at Nothing is beneath you if it is in the direction of your life.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson Football
"How wondrous familiar is a fool!" (Herman Melville, Moby Dick) "Inside of a ring or out, ain't nothing wrong with going down. It's staying down that's wrong." (Muhammad Ali) "In fact, most deaths are not tragic. Few people die because of a flaw in character, which is the essential element of tragedy. They just die." (John Chancellor, The News Business) A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage.
-- Marvin Kitman "Feeding is a very important ritual for me. I don't trust people who don't like to eat." (Gina Gershon) Football The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people.
-- Lucille S. Harper There are three types of people in this world: Those who can count, and those who can't.
-- Seen on a bumper sticker Love is the flower of life, and blossoms unexpectedly and without law, and must be plucked
where it is found, and enjoyed for the brief hour of its duration.
-- D. H. Lawrence Football
The multitude is always in the wrong.
-- Wentworth Dillon, Earl of Roscommon, 1684 The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open. -- Groucho Marx When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
-- Sacha Guitry Do not let yourselves be discouraged or embittered by the smallness of the success you are likely
to achieve in trying to make life better. You certainly would not be able, in a single generation, to "Careful?! Was my mother careful when she stabbed me in the heart with a coat hanger while I was still in the womb?" (Trey Parker) Football The soul is healed by being with children.
-- Fyodor Dostoyevski This world is a comedy for those who think and a tragedy for those who feel.
-- Horace Walpole "There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered." (Nelson Mandela, A Long Walk to Freedom) Football
All over Washington today, the politicians and the power brokers are happy. In fact, if you listen
closely, you can hear the sound of champagne corks popping.
-- Paul Jacob, Term Limits Executive Di Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same
direction.
-- Antoine de Saint-Exupéry What I have to say is far more important than how long my eyelashes are.
-- Alanis Morissette, singer, 1995 Television: A medium. So called because it is neither rare nor well done.
-- Ernie Kovacs Reading computer manuals without the hardware is a frustrating as reading sex manuals without
the software.
-- Arthur C. Clarke Football The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people.
-- Lucille S. Harper Familiarity breeds contempt -- and children.
-- Mark Twain Let the refining and improving of your own life keep you so busy that you have little time to
criticize others.
-- H. Jackson Brown Football
"The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of the dream." (Eleanor Roosevelt) "Those who hear not the music think the dancers mad." (Anonymous) With the catching end the pleasures of the chase.
-- Abraham Lincoln I have noticed that nothing I have never said ever did me any harm.
-- Calvin Coolidge A baby is God's opinion that the world should go on.
-- Carl Sandburg Football "Everywhere one seeks to produce meaning, to make the world signify, to render it visible. We are not, however, in danger of lacking meaning; quite the contrary, we are gorged with meaning and it is k Anyone who knows anything of history knows that great social changes are impossible without
feminine upheaval. Social progress can be measured exactly by the social position of the fair sex,
the ugl The most happy marriage I can imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman. -- S. T. Coleridge Football
You can always amend a big plan, but you can never expand a little one. I don't believe in little
plans. I believe in plans big enough to meet a situation which we can't possibly foresee now.
-- Ha If the facts don't fit the theory, change the facts.
-- Albert Einstein It ain't what we don't know that gives us trouble, it's what we know that ain't so.
-- Will Rogers I just want what every married woman wants, someone besides her husband to sleep with.
-- Peg Bundy, character on "Married with Children," U.S. television show Few men have virtue to withstand the highest bidder.
-- George Washington Football The fate of love is that it always seems too little or too much.
-- Anonymous Saying that Windows95 is equal to Macintosh is like finding a potato that looks like Jesus and
believing you've witnessed the second coming.
-- Guy Kawasaki I have come to the conclusion never again to think of marrying, and for this reason, I can never
be satisfied with anyone who would be blockhead enough to have me.
-- Abraham Lincoln, in a letter to Football
"I have no special gift; I am only passionately curious." (Albert Einstein) Never try to teach a pig to sing. It's a waste of your time and annoys the pig.
-- Anon. Minds are like parachutes - they only function when open.
-- Thomas Dewar "If you do not know where you are going, any road will take you there." (Sterling Holloway, voice of Chesire Cat, Alice in Wonderland) Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.
-- George Jean Nathan Football The democratic theory is that if you accumulate enough ignorance at the polls, you produce
intelligence.
-- Philo Vance The grand aim of all science is to cover the greatest number of empirical facts by logical
deduction from the smallest number of hypotheses or axioms.
-- Albert Einstein "Failure is not an option!" (Ed Harris, as Gene Kranz, Apollo 13) Football
"To make the individual uncomfortable, that is my task." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Martyrdom... is the only way in which a man can become famous without ability. George Bernard
Shaw (1856 - 1950), The Devil's Disciple (1901) act 3 Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.
-- Aldous Huxley "A new baby is like the beginning of all things--wonder, hope, a dream of possibilities." (Eda J. Le Shan) In a cat's eyes, all things belong to cats.
-- English Proverb Football Based on what you know about him in history books, what do you think Abraham Lincoln would
be doing if he were alive today?
1) Writing his memoirs of the Civil War.
2) Advising the President.
3) D blah "Sometimes it is said that man cannot be trusted with the government of himself. Can he, then be trusted with the government of others? Or have we found angels in the form of kings to govern him? Ninety percent of the game is half mental.
-- Yogi Berra Football
Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches.
- the Duchess of Windsor, when asked what is the secret of a long and happy life There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as
though everything is a miracle.
-- Albert Einstein Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils.
-- Hector Louis Berlioz Politics have no relation to morals.
-- Niccolo Machiavelli We must become the change we want to see.
-- Gandhi Football It is no use walking anywhere to preach unless our walking is our preaching.
-- St. Francis of Assisi A scholar who cherishes the love of comfort is not fit to be deemed a scholar.
- Lao-Tzu "The man who never made a mistake never made anything." (Derek Longdon, Tongariro Power Development, Turangi, New Zealand) Football
