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Nothing has really happened until it has been recorded.
-- Virginia Woolf Nothing has really happened until it has been recorded.
-- Virginia Woolf Honolulu, it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother.
-- Ken Dodd Live out of your imagination, not your history.
-- Stephen Covey "It wasn't until I started reading and found books they wouldn't let us read in school that I discovered you could be insane and happy and have a good life without being like everybody else." (John W Legal Services I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with
typewriters.
- Frank Lloyd Wright Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience. A narcissist is someone better-looking than you are.
-- Gore Vidal Legal Services
"All grown-ups were once children, though few of them remember it." (Antoine de Saint Exupéry) The Bible contains six admonishments to homosexuals and 362 admonishments to
heterosexuals. That doesn't mean that God doesn't love heterosexuals. It's just that they need
more supervision.
-- Lynn "Expose yourself to your deepest fear; after that, fear has no power, and the fear of freedom shrinks and vanishes. You are free." (James Douglas Morrison, lead singer of The Doors) A man's ethical behavior should be based effectually on sympathy, education, and social ties; no
religious basis is necessary. Man would indeed be in a poor way if he had to be restrained by fear
of Flowers are words which even a baby can understand.
-- Arthur C. Coxe Legal Services Some people go to priests; others to poetry; I to my friends.
-- Virginia Woolf "Man is the only animal that can remain on friendly terms with the victims he intends to eat until he eats them." (Samuel Butler) "The evil that is in the world almost always comes of ignorance, and good intentions may do as much harm as malevolence if they lack understanding." (Albert Camus) Legal Services
Change is not merely necessary to life, it is life.
-- Alvin Toffler If life were predictable it would cease to be life, and be without flavor.
-- Eleanor Roosevelt "Most people don't realize that large pieces of coral, which have been painted brown and attached to the skull by common wood screws, can make a child look like a deer." (Jack Handey) If all men were brothers, would you let one marry your sister? The first duty of a lecturer: to hand you after an hour's discourse a nugget of pure truth to wrap up
between the pages of your notebooks, and keep on the mantlepiece forever.
-- Virginia Woolf Legal Services You'd be surprised how much it costs to look this cheap.
-- Dolly Parton If the facts don't fit the theory, change the facts.
-- Albert Einstein "I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members." (Groucho Marx) Legal Services
the social sciences were for all those who had not yet decided what to do with their lives, and for
all those whose premature frustrations led them into the sterile alleys of confrontation.
-- Peter It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare; it is because we do not dare that they are
difficult.
-- Seneca Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.
-- Anonymous An economic forecaster is like a cross-eyed javelin thrower: they don't win many accuracy
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-- Anonymous blah "Ability wins us the esteem of the true men; luck that of the people." (François VI Duke (duc) de La Rochefoucauld, 1616-80) Legal Services I know a dead parrot when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now.... This is an ex-parrot.
-- John Cleese, Monty Python, British comedy television show If you are going to sin, sin against God, not the bureaucracy. God will forgive you but the
bureaucracy won't.
-- Hyman Rickover A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.
-- Zsa Zsa Gabor Legal Services
Do not assume that she who seeks to comfort you now, lives untroubled among the simple and
quiet words that sometimes do you good. Her life may also have much sadness and difficulty, that
remains fa A friend is one who knows us, but loves us anyway.
-- Fr. Jerome Cummings I'm proud to be paying taxes in the United States. The only thing is - I could be just as proud for
half the money.
-- Arthur Godfrey If the facts don't fit the theory, change the facts.
-- Albert Einstein I want to die in my sleep like my friend.... Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his
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-- Seen on a bumper sticker Legal Services "Ask five economists and you'll get five different answers (six if one went to Harvard)." (Edgar R. Fiedler) A teacher is one who makes himself progressively unnecessary.
-- Thomas Carruthers I can't understand why people are frightened of new ideas. I'm frightened of the old ones.
-- John Cage Legal Services
The majority of husbands remind me of an orangutan trying to play the violin.
-- Honore de Balzac The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people.
-- Lucille S. Harper Viewed from the summit of reason, all life looks like a malignant disease and the world like a
madhouse.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe The philosophy exam was a piece of cake -- which was a bit of a surprise, actually, because I
was expecting some questions on a sheet of paper.
-- Smith & Jones History will be kind to me for I intend to write it.
-- Winston Churchill Legal Services Marriage is a romance in which the heroine dies in the first chapter.
-- Cecilia Egan An undefined problem has an infinite number of solutions.
-- Robert A. Humphrey "I run to see who has the most guts." (Steve Roland Prefontaine) Legal Services
Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.
-- Oscar Wilde Not everything that can be counted counts; and not everything that counts can be counted.
-- Albert Einstein There is nothing more notable in Socrates than that he found time, when he was an old man, to
learn music and dancing, and thought it time well spent.
-- Michel de Montaigne The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and
science.
-- Albert Einstein A great deal of talent is lost to the world for want of a little courage. Every day sends to their
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-- Sydney Smith Legal Services "Like as the waves make towards the pebbl'd shore, so do our minutes, hasten to their end." (William Shakespeare) Age does not make us childish, as some say; it finds us true children.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Diplomat: A man who can convince his wife she would look stout in a fur coat. Legal Services
Seeing a murder on television can help work off one's antagonisms. And if you haven't any
antagonisms, the commercials will give you some.
-- Alfred Hitchcock The church is the great lost and found department.
-- Robert Short Education is not filling a bucket, but lighting a fire.
-- William Yeats "Everyone is a bore to someone. That is unimportant. The thing to avoid is being a bore to oneself." (Gerald Brenan) Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't, they'd be married too.
-- H. L. Mencken Legal Services The advantage of a classical education is that it enables you to despise the wealth which it
prevents you from achieving.
-- Russell Green "Every great institution is the lengthened shadow of a single man. His character determines the character of the organization." (Ralph Waldo Emerson) "These are days you'll remember." If you recall nothing else from your graduation ceremony,
remember you heard the New Jersey Governor quote from 10,000 Maniacs.
-- Christine Todd, NJ Governor, Whea Legal Services
The graveyards are full of indispensable men.
- Charles de Gaulle A husband is a guy who tells you when you've got on too much lipstick and helps you with your
girdle when your hips stick.
-- Ogden Nash The full use of your powers along lines of excellence.
- definition of happiness by John F. Kennedy "We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." (Oscar Wilde) A kitten is chiefly remarkable for rushing about like mad at nothing whatever, and generally
stopping before it gets there.
-- Agnes Repplier Legal Services Blessed is he who has learned to laugh at himself, for he shall never cease to be entertained.
-- John Powell Is it better for a woman to marry a man who loves her than a man she loves.
-- Anonymous The perfect love affair is one which is conducted entirely by post.
-- George Bernard Shaw Legal Services
Early to rise and early to bed.
Makes a male healthy, wealthy and dead.
-- James Thurber "A new baby is like the beginning of all things--wonder, hope, a dream of possibilities." (Eda J. Le Shan) People may or may not say what they mean ... but they always say something designed to get
what they want.
-- David Mamet The Middle Eastern states aren't nations; they're quarrels with borders.
-- P. J. O'Rourke "Over grown military establishments are under any form of government inauspicious to liberty, and are to be regarded as particularly hostile to republican liberty." (George Washington) Legal Services The telephone company is urging people to *please* not use the telephone unless it is absolutely
necessary in order to keep the lines open for emergency personnel. We'll be right back after this
bre The sun never sets on the British empire because Britain is in the east and the sun sets in the
west.
-- Unknown history student Fighting is essentially a masculine idea; a woman's weapon is her tongue.
-- Hermione Gingold Legal Services
"Dying is the most embarrassing thing that can ever happen to you, because someone's got to take care of all your details." (Andy Warhol, America, 1985) "We the people are the rightful masters of both Congress and the courts, not to overthrow the Constitution but to overthrow the men who pervert the Constitution." (Abraham Lincoln, 1809-65) We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out.
-- Decca Recording Company, rejecting the Beatles, 1962 I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible
by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth.
- Umberto Eco Does anal retentive have a hyphen?
-- Seen on a t-shirt Legal Services The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.
-- Gloria Leonard Life is a succession of lessons enforced by immediate reward, or, oftener, by immediate
chastisement.
-- Ernest Dimnet In America, anybody can be president. That's one of the risks you take.
-- Adlai Stevenson Legal Services
