If you are all wrapped up in yourself, you are overdressed
-- Kate Halverson "Life is a great surprise. I don't see why death should not be an even greater one." (Vladimir Nabokov) I'll sleep when I'm dead.
- Warren Zevon "I don't believe people die. They just go uptown. To Bloomingdales. They just take longer to get back." (Andy Warhol) Being a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women it is
merely a good excuse not to play football.
-- Fran Lebowitz Football May you live happily ever after with a poor, ugly, shrewish wife. The paradox is really the pathos of intellectual life and just as only great souls are exposed to
passions it is only the great thinker who is exposed to what I call paradoxes, which are . . .
grand Disbelief in magic can force a poor soul into believing in government and business.
-- Tom Robbins Football
Honolulu - it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother. -- Ken Dodd A fool's brain digests philosophy into folly, science into superstition, and art into pedantry. Hence
University education.
-- George Bernard Shaw "There are some enterprises in which a careful disorderliness is the true method." (Herman Melville, Moby Dick) Opportunities multiply as they are seized.
-- Sun Tzu In every man's heart there is a secret nerve that answers to the vibrations of beauty.
-- Christopher Morley Football "Every act of violence increases the recruitment of terrorists. Iraq has been turned into a base of terror." (Noam Chomsky, from The Toronto Star, March 23, 2004) Jimmy Carter as President is like Truman Capote marrying Dolly Parton. The job is just too big for
him.
-- Rich Little I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat!
-- Will Rogers Football
Some people go to priests; others to poetry; I to my friends.
-- Virginia Woolf Morality consists in suspecting other people of not being legally married.
-- George Bernard Shaw What kills a skunk is the publicity it gives itself.
-- Abraham Lincoln This novel is not to be tossed lightly aside, but hurled with great force.
-- Dorothy Parker Marriages are made in heaven and consummated on Earth. -- John Lyly Football The philosophy exam was a piece of cake -- which was a bit of a surprise, actually, because I
was expecting some questions on a sheet of paper.
-- Smith & Jones "I don't believe people die. They just go uptown. To Bloomingdales. They just take longer to get back." (Andy Warhol) "The man who never made a mistake never made anything." (Derek Longdon, Tongariro Power Development, Turangi, New Zealand) Football
Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.
-- Frank L. Visco, How to Write Good The Internet is so big, so powerful and pointless that for some people it is a complete substitute
for life.
-- Andrew Brown "The purpose of Compulsory Education is to deprive the common people of their commonsense." (Gilbert Keith Chesterton) Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteeen.
-- Albert Einstein If you want a place in the sun, you've got to put up with a few blisters.
-- Abigail Van Buren Football If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.
-- Aristotle Onassis A hippo does not have a sting in its tail, but a wise man would still rather be sat on by a bee.
-- Polish proverb I hate women because they always know where things are.
-- James Thurber Football
Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me.
- Ambrose Bierce The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don't have it.
- George Bernard Shaw Health food makes me sick.
-- Calvin Trillin Early to rise and early to bed.
Makes a male healthy, wealthy and dead.
-- James Thurber These people have served a longer sentence than some people who have committed murder.
-- Jeff Greenfield, news analyst, describing the jury in the OJ Simpson murder trial, 1995 Football The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open. -- Groucho Marx "There are some enterprises in which a careful disorderliness is the true method." (Herman Melville, Moby Dick) In the book of life, the answers aren't in the back.
-- Charlie Brown, character in "Peanuts" comic strip, created by Charles Schultz Football
"Discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishments." (Anonymous) "I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter." (Blaise Pascal) The mediocre teacher tells. The good teacher explains.The superior teacher demonstrates. The
great teacher inspires.
-- William Arthur Ward "Man is the only animal that can remain on friendly terms with the victims he intends to eat until he eats them." (Samuel Butler) Better to die ten thousand deaths than wound my honor.
-- Joseph Addison Football We do not remember days; we remember moments.
-- Anonymous >From the Far East I send you one single thought, one sole idea--written in red on every
beachhead form Australia to Tokyo--There is no substitute for victory!
-- General Douglas MacArthur It is amazing at how small a price may the wedding ring be placed upon a worthless hand; but, by
the beauty of our law, what heaps of gold are indispensable to take it off!
-- Douglas Jerold, 1858 Football
"I don't believe people die. They just go uptown. To Bloomingdales. They just take longer to get back." (Andy Warhol) The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him.
-- Robert Benchley When I can no longer bear to think of the victims of broken homes, I begin to think of the victims
of intact ones.
-- Peter DeVries There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as
though everything is a miracle.
-- Albert Einstein "I feel I have to protect myself against things. So I'm pretty careful to lose most of them." (George Orson Welles) Football "They always say time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself." (Andy Warhol) The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.
-- Eleanor Roosevelt "Education must have an end in view, for it is not an end in itself." (Sybil Marshall) Football
Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.
- H. G. Wells "Furious activity is no substitute for understanding." (H. H. Williams) A dollar saved is a quarter earned.
-- John Ciardi The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a 'C', the idea must be
feasible.
- A Yale University management professor in response to student Fred Smith's paper prop Sometimes you get shown the light in the strangest of places if you look at it right.
-- Jerry Garcia Football Wagner's music is better than it sounds.
- Mark Twain I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat!
-- Will Rogers Life is no brief candle to me. It is a sort of splendid torch which I have got a hold of for the
moment, and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future
generations Football
The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep.
- Clinton aide George Stephanopolous speaking on Larry King Live "Twelve magicians and two carnies have been shot dead doing the bullet catch. That's cool enough, but every night when we close our show with that trick and the loaded gun gets pointed in my face, it Trust, but verify.
-- Ronald Reagan A woman seldom asks advice before she has bought her wedding clothes.
-- Joseph Addison A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you're in deep water.
-- Sidney Goff Football The lover knows much more about absolute good and universal beauty than any logician or
theologian, unless the latter, too, be lovers in disguise.
-- George Santayana Always bear in mind that your own resolution to success is more important than any other one
thing.
-- Abraham Lincoln Let him who would enjoy a good future waste none of his present.
-- Roger Babson Football
The work of internal government has become the task of controlling the thousands of fifth-rate
men.
-- Henry B. Adams Say goodbye to the oldies, but goodies, because the good old days weren't always good and
tomorrow aint as bad as it seems.
-- Billy Joel Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater.
- Gail Godwin The love we give away is the only love we keep.
-- Elbert Hubbard A conference is a gathering of important people who singly can do nothing, but together can
decide that nothing can be done.
-- Fred Allen Football "Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It's not." (Theodor Seuss Geisel, a.k.a. Dr. Seuss, 1904-1991) Love: An obsessive delusion that is cured by marriage. Disclaimer: Even my wife doesn't agree with everything I say, and she loves me dearly. My employers don't love me nearly as much as she does. Draw your own conclusions. Football
We had a lot in common. I loved him and he loved him.
-- Shelley Winters When I give a lecture, I accept that people look at their watches, but what I do not tolerate is
when they look at it and raise it to their ear to find out if it stopped.
-- Marcel Achard "Everybody knows that if you are too careful, you become so occupied in being careful that you are sure to stumble over something." (Gertrude Stein) Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain
as marijuana...The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two, but can't
remember what English Law prohibits a man from marrying his mother-in-law. This is our idea of useless legislation. Football I once asked my history teacher how we were expected to learn anything useful from his subject,
when it seemed to me to be nothing but a monotonous and sordid succession of robber baron
scumbags dev The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in the mind at the same
time, and still retain the ability to function.
-- F. Scott Fitzgerald You have no more right to consume happiness without producing it than to consume wealth
without producing it.
-- George Bernard Shaw Football
