The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.
-- Oscar Wilde We have been friends together in sunshine and in shade.
-- Caroline Norton All human actions are equivalent... and... all are on principle doomed...
-- Jean-Paul Sartre, "Being and Nothingness" The time is always right to do what is right.
-- Martin Luther King, Jr. Even death is not to be feared by one who has lived wisely.
-- Buddha Theatre Marriage is like a hot bath. Once you get used to it, it's not so hot. Television: A medium. So called because it is neither rare nor well done.
-- Ernie Kovacs Ah Mozart! He was happily married - but his wife wasn't.
-- Victor Borge Theatre
Statistics are like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive, but what they conceal is vital.
-- Aaron Levenstein A woman has got to love a bad man once or twice in her life to be thankful for a good one.
-- Mae West Can you imagine what I would do if I could do all I can?
-- The Artist Formerly Known As Prince When people go to work, they shouldn't have to leave their hearts at home.
-- Betty Bender If life were predictable it would cease to be life, and be without flavor.
-- Eleanor Roosevelt Theatre Honor the ocean of love.
-- George de Benneville "Things do not change, we change." (Henry David Thoreau) If someone had told me I would be Pope one day, I would have studied harder.
-- Pope John Paul I Theatre
"If you meet a woman that smokes cigars ... marry her." (Arthur Lotti) What I have to say is far more important than how long my eyelashes are.
-- Alanis Morissette, singer, 1995 Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.
- H. G. Wells Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you said; after marriage,
he'll fall asleep before you finish saying it.
-- Helen Roland "Is life not a thousand times too short for us to bore ourselves?" (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Theatre "Nietzsche was stupid and abnormal." (Leo Tolstoy, 1828-1910) I never miss a chance to have sex or appear on television.
-- Gore Vidal I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can
write better.
- A. J. Liebling Theatre
"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself." (Franklin Delano Roosevelt, 1882 - 1945, 32nd U.S. President) Do not fear to be eccentric in opinion, for every opinion now accepted was once eccentric.
-- Bertrand Russell I have found the paradox that if I love until it hurts, then there is no hurt, but only more love.
-- Mother Teresa The man with the best job in the country is the Vice President. All he has to do is get up every
morning and say, "How's the President?"
-- Will Rogers "I always thought a dog-lover was a dog who loved another dog." (James Thurber) Theatre Whoever controls the media--the images--controls the culture.
-- Allen Ginsberg Too bad all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving cabs and cutting hair.
-- George Burns "You make 'em, I amuse 'em." (Theodor Seuss Geisel, a.k.a. Dr. Seuss, 1904-1991, on children) Theatre
There is no cure for birth and death save to enjoy the interval.
-- George Santayana Defeat never comes to any man until he admits it.
-- Josephus Daniels "A woman may very well form a friendship with a man, but for this to endure, it must be assisted by a little physical antipathy." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) There is a time when the operation of the machine becomes so odious, makes you so sick at
heart, you can't take part. And you've got to put your body upon the gears and upon the wheels,
upon the lev Perhaps, after all, America never has been discovered. I myself would say that it had merely
been detected.
-- Oscar Wilde Theatre Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
-- Fred Allen You can always amend a big plan, but you can never expand a little one. I don't believe in little
plans. I believe in plans big enough to meet a situation which we can't possibly foresee now.
-- Ha Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting.
-- Karl Wallenda Theatre
Dishonor will not trouble me, once I am dead.
-- Euripides "Dream as if you'll live forever; live as if you'll die tomorrow." (James Dean) Those parts of the system that you can hit with a hammer (not advised) are called hardware;
those program instructions that you can only curse at are called software.
-- Unknown author, Levitating T If I have not seen as far as others, it is because giants were standing on my shoulders.
-- Hal Abelson He who laughs last didn't get it.
-- Helen Giangregorio Theatre "Are you bored with life? Then throw yourself into some work you believe in with all your heart, live for it, die for it, and you will find happiness that you had thought could never be yours." (Dale "All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream." (Edger Allen Poe) "True friends, like diamonds, are precious and rare. False friends, like autumn leaves, are found everywhere." (Anonymous) Theatre
It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks. She's not marrying the best man.
-- Anonymous "Character is determined more by the lack of certain experiences than by those one has had." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.
-- Napoleon Bonaparte "Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free." (Emma Lazarus) Not to anticipate is already to moan.
-- Leonardo da Vinci Theatre "It is not the answer that enlightens, but the question." (Eugene Ionesco) A behaviorist is someone who pulls habits out of rats.
-- Anonymous I tried a mail order bride, once, but she was damaged in the mail, and I had to return the unused part for my full refund. Theatre
"Expect nothing. Live frugally on surprise." (Alice Walker) Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to
us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
-- Jeff Raskin We need a president who's fluent in at least one language.
-- Buck Henry "In times of change learners inherit the earth; while the learned find themselves beautifully equipped to deal with a world that no longer exists." (Eric Hoffer) "Man is the only animal that can remain on friendly terms with the victims he intends to eat until he eats them." (Samuel Butler) Theatre God help the man who won't marry until he finds a perfect woman, and God help him still more if
he finds her.
-- Benjamin Tillett I think every woman is entitled to a middle husband she can forget.
-- Adela Rogers St. John "The reason why kids are crazy is because nobody can face the responsibility of bringing them up." (John Lennon) Theatre
Question: If you could live forever, would you and why? Answer: I would not live forever, because
we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live
forever, Democracy is the recurrent suspicion that more than half of the people are right more than half of
the time.
-- E. B. White Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.
- Mel Brooks "Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance, or a stranger." (Franklin P. Jones) "I've never let my school interfere with my education." (Mark Twain) Theatre Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, and half shut afterwards.
-- Benjamin Franklin "I love Los Angeles. I love Hollywood. They're beautiful. Everybody's plastic, but I love plastic. I want to be plastic." (Andy Warhol, Holy Terror: Andy Warhol Close Up) "The only way to have friends is to be one." (Ralph Waldo Emerson) Theatre
A human being is a part of the whole, called by us Universe, a part limited in time and space. He
experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings as something separated from the rest--a kind of
optic If you are afraid of loneliness, do not marry. -- Chekhov "The face is the soul of the body." (Ludwig Wittgenstein) Meetings are an addictive, highly self-indulgent activity that corporations and other large
organizations habitually engage in only because they cannot actually masturbate.
-- Dave Barry The charm of history and its enigmatic lesson consist in the fact that, from age to age, nothing
changes and yet everything is completely different.
-- Aldous Huxley Theatre The more we do, the more we can do; the more busy we are the more leisure we have.
-- William Hazlitt Dreams never hurt anybody if you keep working right behind the dreams to make as much of
them become real as you can.
-- Frank W. Woolworth We love because it's the only true adventure.
-- Nikki Giovanni Theatre
"A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise man knows himself to be a fool." (William Shakespeare) The most wasted day of all is that in which we have not laughed.
-- Sebastian Roch Nicolas Chamfort Dreams never hurt anybody if you keep working right behind the dreams to make as much of
them become real as you can.
-- Frank W. Woolworth The democratic theory is that if you accumulate enough ignorance at the polls, you produce
intelligence.
-- Philo Vance Here's a toast to your new bride who has everything a girl could want in her life, except for good
taste in men!
-- Wedding Toast Theatre I couldn't remember when I had been so disappointed. Except perhaps the time I found out that
M&Ms really do melt in your hand...
-- Peter Oakley "Have confidence that if you have done a little thing well, you can do a bigger thing well, too." (David Malcolm Storey) There are two means of refuge from the misery of life - music and cats.
-- Albert Schweitzer Theatre
