There are only two things a child will share willingly communicable diseases and his mother's
age.
-- Modern Maturity Blessed are the young for they shall inherit the national debt.
-- Herbert Hoover "I'll tell you something: Luxury disgusts me." (Giorgio Armani) The Middle Eastern states aren't nations; they're quarrels with borders.
-- P. J. O'Rourke "O' What may man within him hide, though angel on the outward side!" (William Shakespeare) Football There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics.
-- Benjamin Disraeli Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain
as marijuana...The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two, but can't
remember what Moderation is a fatal thing. Nothing succeeds like excess.
-- Oscar Wilde Football
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a
philosopher.
- Socrates The more we do, the more we can do; the more busy we are the more leisure we have.
-- William Hazlitt Logic is in the eye of the logician.
- Gloria Steinem Peculiar travel suggestions are dancing lessons from God.
-- Kurt Vonnegut, Jr., Cat's Cradle "Fake is as old as the Eden tree." (George Orson Welles) Football Before God we are all equally wise - and equally foolish.
-- Albert Einstein Marrying a man is like buying something you've been admiring for a long time in a shop window.
You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn't always go with everything in the house.
-- Jean Ke Black holes are where God divided by zero.
- Steven Wright Football
Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives.
-- John Stuart Mill The paradox is really the pathos of intellectual life and just as only great souls are exposed to
passions it is only the great thinker who is exposed to what I call paradoxes, which are . . .
grand We can do no great things; only small things with great love.
-- Mother Teresa "Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow. Don't walk behind me; I may not lead. Walk beside me and just be my friend." (Albert Camus) Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.
- Napoleon Bonaparte Football A man must marry only a very pretty woman in case he should ever want some other man to take
her off his hands.
-- Sacha Guitry blah "To give anything less than your best is to sacrifice the gift." (Steve Roland Prefontaine) "The most exciting attractions are between two opposites that never meet." (Andy Warhol) Football
"The greatest of faults, I should say, is to be conscious of none." (Thomas Carlyle, 1795-1881) We can never be sure that the opinion we are endeavoring to stifle is a false opinion; and if we
were sure, stifling it would be an evil still.
-- John Stuart Mill Happiness is nothing more than health and a poor memory.
-- Albert Schweitzer Time is at once the most valuable and most perishable of all our possessions.
-- John Randolph "I couldn't find the sports car of my dreams, so I built it myself." (Dr. Ferdinand Porsche) Football The better part of valor is discretion.
-- William Shakespeare 1564-1616 from King Henry the Fourth, Part I The great end of life is not knowledge, but action. What men need is as much knowledge as they
can organize for action; give them more and it may become injurious. Some men are heavy and
stupid from "How can we know the dancer from the dance?" (William Butler Yeats) Football
A lover tries to stand in well with the pet dog of the house.
-- Moliere The streets are safe in Philadelphia. It's only the people who make them unsafe.
-- Frank Rizzo, ex-police chief and mayor of Philadelphia Democracy is a device that insures we shall be governed no better than we deserve.
-- George Bernard Shaw blah "The length of this document defends it well against the risk of its being read." (Sir Winston Churchill, 1874-1965) "A man who tells lies, like me, merely hides the truth. But a man who tells half-lies has forgotten where he put it." (Claude Rains, as Mr. Dryden, Lawrence of Arabia, 1962) Football "I am interested in anything about revolt, disorder , chaos--especially activity that seems to have no meaning. It seems to me to be the road toward freedom ... Rather than starting inside, I start ou "To make the individual uncomfortable, that is my task." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) "The market is not an invention of capitalism. It has existed for centuries. It is an invention of civilization." (Mikhail Gorbachev, June 8, 1990) Football
We can never be sure that the opinion we are endeavoring to stifle is a false opinion; and if we
were sure, stifling it would be an evil still.
-- John Stuart Mill Ah Mozart! He was happily married - but his wife wasn't.
-- Victor Borge The better part of one's life consists of his friendships.
-- Abraham Lincoln Icky icky icky icky fKANG zoop-boing n zowzyin...
-- The Knights who so recently said "Nee!", Monty Python, British comedy television show One survey found that ten percent of Americans thought Joan of Arc was Noah's wife....
-- Robert Boynton Football "Every great institution is the lengthened shadow of a single man. His character determines the character of the organization." (Ralph Waldo Emerson) Standing in the middle of the road is very dangerous; you get knocked down by the traffic from
both sides.
-- Margaret Thatcher The real questions are the ones that obtrude upon your consciousness whether you like it or not,
the ones that make your mind start vibrating like a jackhammer, the ones that you 'come to terms
with Football
Parents often talk about the younger generations as if they didn't have anything to do with it. Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to
us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
-- Jeff Raskin First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.
- Mahatma Gandhi This book fills a much-needed gap.
- Moses Hadas in a review Having children makes you no more a parent than having a piano makes you a pianist.
-- Michael Levine, Lessons at the Halfway Point Football Music with dinner is an insult both to the cook and the violinist.
-- G. K. Chesterton Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.
- Benjamin Franklin The difference between literature and journalism is that journalism is unreadable and literature is
not read.
-- Oscar Wilde Football
It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.
- Mark Twain "I would rather die standing than live on my knees!" (Emiliano Zapata) Let go of your attachment to being right, and suddenly your mind is more open. You're able to
benefit from the unique viewpoints of others, without being crippled by your own judgment.
-- Ralph Mars "The only way to have friends is to be one." (Ralph Waldo Emerson) It is always incomprehensible to a man that a woman should ever refuse an offer of marriage.
-- Jane Austen Football Marriage is a lottery in which men stake their liberty and women their happiness.
-- Madame de Rieux The honest poor can sometimes forget poverty. The honest rich can never forget it.
-- G. K. Chesterton My wife submits and I obey; she always lets me have her way. Football
My father taught me to work; he did not teach me to love it.
-- Abraham Lincoln If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars.
- J. Paul Getty "If liberty means anything at all, it means the right to tell people what they don't want to hear." (George Orwell) "Those who hear not the music think the dancers mad." (Anonymous) The nation's honor is dearer than the nation's comfort; yes, than the nation's life itself.
-- Woodrow Wilson Football "A man who flies from his fear may find he has only taken a shortcut to meet it." (John Ronald Reuel Tolkien) Love one another and you will be happy. It's as simple and as difficult as that.
-- Michael Leunig Creativity is the sudden cessation of stupidity.
-- Edward H. Land Football
"Conforming is only acceptable when you conform with a nonconformist." (John A. Simone Jr.) Love is stronger than justice.
-- Sting Let him who would enjoy a good future waste none of his present.
-- Roger Babson Musical people always want one to be perfectly dumb at the very moment when one is longing to
be perfectly deaf.
-- Oscar Wilde The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his.
-- General George Patton Football When you steal from one author, it's plagiarism; if you steal from many, it's research.
-- Wilson Mizner "Beauty without expression is boring." (Ralph Waldo Emerson) Men have a much better time of it than women: for one thing they marry later, for another thing
they die earlier.
-- H. L. Mencken Football
"Even a stopped clock is right twice a day." (Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach) May your wife be a witch who takes after her mother, and may you all live together in a one-room house. Love may be a dream but marriage is a nightmare.
-- Joan Collins The great man fights the elements in his time that hinder his own greatness, in other words his own freedom and sincerity." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) It is the final proof of God's omnipotence that he need not exist in order to save us.
-- Peter De Vries Football I have found the paradox that if I love until it hurts, then there is no hurt, but only more love.
-- Mother Teresa Matters of religion should never be matters of controversy. We neither argue with a lover about
his taste, not condemn him, if we are just, for knowing so human a passion.
-- George Santayana English Law prohibits a man from marrying his mother-in-law. This is our idea of useless legislation. Football
