I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.
-- Groucho Marx The average, healthy, well-adjusted adult gets up at seven-thirty in the morning feeling just plain
terrible.
-- Jean Kerr "The proper office of a friend is to side with you when you are wrong. Nearly anybody will side with you when you are right." (Mark Twain) Why bother with marriage? Just find a woman you hate and buy her a house. If you don't know how to do something, you don't know how to do it with a computer.
-- Anon. Education "I'll endorse with my name any of the following; clothing AC-DC, cigarettes, small tapes, sound equipment, ROCK N' ROLL RECORDS, anything, film, and film equipment, Food, Helium, Whips, MONEY!!" (And "Genius without education is like silver in the mine." (Benjamin Franklin) "Defeat the fear of death and welcome the death of fear." (G. Gordon Liddy) Education
If you don't double-click me, I can't do anything.
-- John Aniston, on how computers have taken over his life "He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever." (Chinese Proverb) "People demand freedom only when they have no power." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) All courage is a form of constancy. It is always himself that a coward abandons first. After this all
other betrayals come.
-- Cormac McCarthy "That government is best which governs the least, because its people discipline themselves." (Thomas Jefferson) Education The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.
-- Gloria Leonard I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body.
-- Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward I heard someone tried the monkeys-on-typewriters bit trying for the plays of W. Shakespeare, but
all they got was the collected works of Francis Bacon.
- Bill Hirst Education
It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid.
- George Bernard Shaw "To introduce something altogether new would mean to begin all over, to become ignorant again, and to run the old, old risk of failing to learn." (Isaac Asimov) When you're experimenting you have to try so many things before you choose what you want,
and you may go days getting nothing but exhaustion.
-- Fred Astaire Basically, I no longer work for anything but the sensation I have while working.
- Albert Giacometti (sculptor) I do not have much patience with a thing of beauty that must be explained to be understood. If it
does need additional interpretation by someone other than the creator, then I question whether it
ha Education Honor lies in honest toil.
-- Grover Cleveland It's important to be open-minded, but not SO open-minded that your brains fall out.
-- Rick Radebaugh Death does not concern us, because as long as we exist, death is not here. And when it does
come, we no longer exist.
-- Epicurus Education
"The key to wisdom is knowing all the right questions." (John A. Simone Jr.) Disclaimer: Even my wife doesn't agree with everything I say, and she loves me dearly. My employers don't love me nearly as much as she does. Draw your own conclusions. If absolute power corrupts absolutely, does absolute powerlessness make you pure?
-- Harry Shearer The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
-- Mark Twain The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to
contact us.
-- Bill Watterson, in his comic strip Calvin and Hobbes Education Blessed is the man, who having nothing to say, abstains from giving wordy evidence of the fact.
- George Eliot To love is to receive a glimpse of heaven.
-- Karen Sunde A memorandum is written not to inform the reader but to protect the writer.
-- Dean Acheson Education
The trouble with our times is that the future is not what it used to be.
-- Paul Valery Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate to get in, and those inside
desperate to get out.
-- Michel de Montaigne A friend is a gift you give yourself.
-- Robert Louis Stevenson Everything that can be invented has been invented.
- Charles H. Duell, Commissioner, U.S. Office of Patents, 1899 "Every Man and every Woman is a Star." (Aleister Crowley) Education If you have any trouble sounding condescending, find a Unix user to show you how it's done.
-- Scott Adams Every act of creation is first an act of destruction.
-- Pablo Picasso If absolute power corrupts absolutely, does absolute powerlessness make you pure?
-- Harry Shearer Education
"Education must have an end in view, for it is not an end in itself." (Sybil Marshall) I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me. The most valuable of all talents is that of never using two words when one will do.
-- Thomas Jefferson There are times when parenthood seems nothing but feeding the mouth that bites you.
-- Peter De Vries The only weapon that becomes sharper with constant use is the tongue.
-- Anonymous Education The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of blessings; the inherent virtue of socialism
is the equal sharing of miseries.
-- Winston Churchill I am in total control, but don't tell my wife. If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance.
- George Bernard Shaw Education
This is the fourth?
-- Thomas Jefferson, dying words If excessive smoking actually plays a role in the production of lung cancer, it seems to be a minor
one.
-- Dr. W.C. Heuper of the National Cancer Institute, as quoted in the New York Times on Apri I don't know why we are here, but I'm pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves.
- Ludwig Wittgenstein "College professors are the people who can't hack it in the real world." (William Thomas) There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.
- Ken Olson, president, chairman and founder of Digital Equipment Corp., 1977 Education In answer to the question of why it happened, I offer the modest proposal that our Universe is
simply one of those things which happen from time to time.
-- Edward P. Tryon In a novel, the hero can lay ten girls and marry a virgin for the finish. In a movie, that is not
allowed. The villain can lay anybody he wants, have as much fun and as he wants cheating,
stealing, Before I married, I had three theories about raising children and no children. Now, I have three
children and no theories.
-- John Wilmot, Earl of Rochester Education
All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it
is accepted as being self-evident.
- Arthur Schopenhauer "I don't think it's the nature of any man to be monogamous. Men are propelled by genetically ordained impulses over which they have no control to distribute their seed." (Marlon Brando) "Education is the period during which you are being instructed by somebody you do not know, about something you do not want to know." (Gilbert Keith Chesterton) "If you want a thing done well, do it yourself." (Napoleon Bonaparte) Did you hear about the scientist whose wife had twins? He baptized one and kept the other as a control. Education Perfection is what American women expect to find in their husbands... but English women only
hope to find in their butlers.
-- W. Somerset Maugham "The love of liberty is the love of others; the love of power is the love of ourselves." (William Hazlitt) Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a
brand new ending.
-- Anonymous Education
Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteeen.
-- Albert Einstein Honor's a good brooch to wear in a man's hat at all times.
-- Jonson, Ben The right to swing my fist ends where the other man's nose begins.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action.
- Auric Goldfinger, in Goldfinger by Ian L. Fleming No wonder nobody comes here--it's too crowded.
-- Yogi Berra Education "Men are wise in proportion, not to their experience, but to their capacity for experience." (George Bernard Shaw) Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
- George Burns "It is neccessary to have wished for death in order to know how good it is to live." (Alexander Dumas) Education
Spinster: A bachelor's wife. There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.
- Frank Zappa Love me or hate me, but spare me your indifference.
-- Libbie Fudim My darling wife was always glum. I drowned her in a cask of rum, And so made sure that she would stay, In better spirits night and day. "Today was good. / Today was fun. / Tomorrow is another one." (Theodor Seuss Geisel, a.k.a. Dr. Seuss, 1904-1991) Education Most turkeys taste better the day after; my mother's tasted better the day before.
-- Rita Rudner The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and
science.
-- Albert Einstein Sure, it's going to kill a lot of people, but they may be dying of something else anyway.
-- Othal Brand, member of a Texas pesticide review board Education
He who laughs last is generally the last to get the joke.
-- Terry Cohen There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as
though everything is a miracle.
-- Albert Einstein I just need enough to tide me over until I need more.
-- Bill Hoest I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like
toxic waste.
-- David Bissonette The most happy marriage I can imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind
woman.
-- S. T. Coleridge Education Life is the flower for which love is the honey.
-- Victor Hugo Someone once asked me why women don't gamble as much as men do and I gave the
commonsensical reply that we don't have as much money. That was a true but incomplete
answer. In fact, women's total ins Elegance of language may not be in the power of all of us; but simplicity and straight forwardness
are. Write much as you would speak; speak as you think. If with your inferior, speak no coarser
tha Education
