The theory used to be you marry an older man because they are more mature. The new theory is that men don't mature. So you might as well marry a younger one. I have never taken any exercise except sleeping and resting.
-- Mark Twain It is the final proof of God's omnipotence that he need not exist in order to save us.
-- Peter De Vries In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.
-- Albert Einstein Politics have no relation to morals.
-- Niccolo Machiavelli Arts and Entertainment Happiness is nothing more than health and a poor memory.
-- Albert Schweitzer "Drugs have done a lot of good. A lot of good songs have been written. 'Penny Lane' is worth 10 dead kids. 'Dark Side of the Moon?' 100 dead kids. At least that many were conceived by people listening Being a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women it is
merely a good excuse not to play football.
-- Fran Lebowitz Arts and Entertainment
The streets are safe in Philadelphia. It's only the people who make them unsafe.
-- Frank Rizzo, ex-police chief and mayor of Philadelphia Working mothers are guinea pigs in a scientific experiment to show that sleep is not necessary to human life. If law school is so hard to get through... how come there are so many lawyers?
-- Calvin Trillin To keep your marriage brimming, with love in the wedding cup, whenever you're wrong, admit it;
whenever you're right, shut up.
-- Ogden Nash Watching the debate this afternoon it was apparent they loved term limits in the House -- as
Brutus loved Caesar.
-- Bill Moyers Arts and Entertainment There is nothing better for the spirit or the body than a love affair. It elevates the thoughts and
flattens the stomachs.
-- Barbara Howar If we don't change the direction we are going,
We are likely to end up where we are heading.
-- Chinese saying I never hated a man enough to give him his diamonds back.
-- Zsa Zsa Gabor Arts and Entertainment
"How can we know the dancer from the dance?" (William Butler Yeats) I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me. "Our character is what we do when we think no one is looking." (H. Jackson Brown (Jr.) Vote early and vote often.
- Al Capone The greatest homage to truth is to use it.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson Arts and Entertainment Basically, I no longer work for anything but the sensation I have while working.
- Albert Giacometti (sculptor) A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you're in deep water.
-- Sidney Goff Every calling is great when greatly pursued.
-- Oliver Wendell Holmes Arts and Entertainment
"The White Rabbit put on his spectacles. 'Where shall I begin, please your Majesty?' he asked. 'Begin at the beginning,' the King said gravely, 'and go on till you come to the end: then stop.'" (Lewi Absence diminishes small loves and increases great ones, as the wind blows out the candle and
blows up the bonfire.
-- François de La Rouchefoucauld And in the end the love you take is equal to the love you make.
-- The Beatles, The last lyric of their last song Who the hell wants to hear actors talk?
- H. M. Warner, founder of Warner Brothers, in 1927 I do not like broccoli. And I haven't liked it since I was a little kid and my mother made me eat it.
And I'm President of the United States and I'm not going to eat any more broccoli.
-- George Bus Arts and Entertainment Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want.
-- Don Stanford "Every great institution is the lengthened shadow of a single man. His character determines the character of the organization." (Ralph Waldo Emerson) It's not the men in my life that count, it's the life in my men.
-- Mae West Arts and Entertainment
"If you assume that there's no hope, you guarantee that there will be no hope. If you assume that there is an instinct for freedom, there are opportunities to change things, there's a chance for you t "My wallpaper and I are fighting a duel to the death. One or the other of us has to go." (Oscar Wilde, his last recorded words) He who knows nothing, knows nothing. But he who knows he knows nothing knows something. And he who knows someone whose friend's wife's brother knows nothing, he knows something. Or something like that I think that I shall never see
A billboard lovely as a tree.
Indeed, unless the billboards fall,
I'll never see a tree at all.
-- Ogden Nash, Song of the Open Road, 1945 "The greatest dangers to liberty lurk in insidious encroachment by men of zeal, well meaning, but without understanding." (Louis Brandeis) Arts and Entertainment Everything is drive-through. In California, they even have a burial service called Jump-In-The-
Box.
-- Wil Shriner Based on what you know about him in history books, what do you think Abraham Lincoln would
be doing if he were alive today?
1) Writing his memoirs of the Civil War.
2) Advising the President.
3) D Education ... has produced a vast population able to read but unable to distinguish what is worth
reading.
-- G. M. Trevelyan Arts and Entertainment
Honor lies in honest toil.
-- Grover Cleveland Destiny is not a matter of chance; but a matter of choice. It is not a thing to be waited for, It is a
thing to be acheived.
-- William Jennings Bryant He believes that marriage and a career don't mix. So after the wedding he plans to quit his job.
-- Anonymous The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people.
-- Lucille S. Harper Asking an incumbent member of Congress to vote for term limits is a bit like asking a chicken to
vote for Colonel Sanders.
-- Bob Inglis, 1995 Arts and Entertainment We haven't the money, so we've got to think.
-- Lord Rutherford Heav'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn'd, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn'd.
-- William Congreve A man can't get rich if he takes proper care of his family.
-- Navaho saying Arts and Entertainment
Life - a sexually transmitted terminal condition.
-- Walter Prager Obedience is the gateway through which knowledge, yes, and love, too, enter the mind of the
child.
-- Anne Sullivan The first duty of a lecturer: to hand you after an hour's discourse a nugget of pure truth to wrap up
between the pages of your notebooks, and keep on the mantlepiece forever.
-- Virginia Woolf The old believe everything, the middle-aged suspect everything, the young know everything.
-- Oscar Wilde Marriage is like a mousetrap. Those on the outside are trying to get in. Those on the inside are trying to get out. Arts and Entertainment My Alma mater was books, a good library . . . . I could spend the rest of my life reading, just
satisfying my curiosity.
--Malcolm X Jimmy Carter as President is like Truman Capote marrying Dolly Parton. The job is just too big for
him.
-- Rich Little "Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future." (Paul Boese) Arts and Entertainment
"If liberty means anything at all, it means the right to tell people what they don't want to hear." (George Orwell) Imagination is the highest kite one can fly.
-- Lauren Bacall This search for what you want is like tracking something that doesn't want to be tracked. It takes
time to get a dance right, to create something memorable.
-- Fred Astaire The days just before marriage are like a snappy introduction to a tedious book. Spinster: A bachelor's wife. Arts and Entertainment "One often contradicts an opinion when what is uncongenial is really the tone in which it was conveyed." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Thank heaven. A bachelor's life is no life for a single man.
-- Samuel Goldwyn, immigrant-turned-famous-movie-producer, when told his son was getting
married Life - a sexually transmitted terminal condition.
-- Walter Prager Arts and Entertainment
You can't buy love, but you can pay heavily for it.
-- Henny Youngman "I think it's about time we voted for senators with breasts. After all, we've been voting for boobs
long enough."
-- Arizona senatorial candidate Claire Sargent, on women candidates "A woman may very well form a friendship with a man, but for this to endure, it must be assisted by a little physical antipathy." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) "That's the true sign. If the lover has not yet achieved his prize, his eyes will follow the woman, while she appears indifferent. But once he's gained his goal, it's the woman's eyes that follow him, "Nobody minds having what is too good for them." (Jane Austen) Arts and Entertainment A woman's always younger than a man of equal years.
-Elizabeth Barrett Browning, Aurora Leigh He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.
- H. H. Munro (Saki) A man's feet should be planted in his country, but his eyes should survey the world.
-- George Santayana Arts and Entertainment
Thanksgiving is so called because we are all so thankful that it only comes once a year.
-- P. J. O'Rourke Actually, the only memory I have of being a Cub Scout was trying to get my hat back. That was all
I did. Run back and forth at my bus stop going "Quit it."
-- Jerry Seinfeld Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that
can be shot when it breaks down.
-- Russell Baker What would you attempt if you knew you could not fail?
-- Robert Schuller If I have seen farther than others, it is because I was standing on the shoulders of giants.
-- Isaac Newton Arts and Entertainment The difference between marriage and death? Dead people are free. If the government wants people to respect the law, it should set a better example.
-- Anon. "People demand freedom only when they have no power." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Arts and Entertainment
We know the truth, not only by the reason, but also by the heart.
-- Blaise Pascal, Thoughts, Chap. x. 1., Translated by O. W. Wight Every mother generally hopes that her daughter will snag a better husband than she managed to
do...but she's certain that her boy will never get as great a wife as his father did.
-- Anonymous Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together....
-- Carl Zwanzig Our elections are free - it's in the results where eventually we pay.
-- Bill Stern Some of us are becoming the men we wanted to marry.
-- Gloria Steinem Arts and Entertainment Who controls the past controls the future. Who controls the present controls the past.
-- George Orwell I couldn't remember when I had been so disappointed. Except perhaps the time I found out that
M&Ms really do melt in your hand...
-- Peter Oakley Having once decided to achieve a certain task, achieve it at all costs of tedium and distaste. The
gain in self-confidence of having accomplished a tiresome labor is immense.
-- Thomas Arnold Bennet Arts and Entertainment
