Television: A medium. So called because it is neither rare nor well done.
-- Ernie Kovacs Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer.
-- Mark Twain Honor's a good brooch to wear in a man's hat at all times.
-- Jonson, Ben "Don't let your ego get too close to your position, so that if your position gets shot down, your ego doesn't go with it." (Colin Powell) "Great spirits have always faced voilent protest from mediocre minds." (Albert Einstein) Religion I do not like broccoli. And I haven't liked it since I was a little kid and my mother made me eat it.
And I'm President of the United States and I'm not going to eat any more broccoli.
-- George Bus The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
-- Mark Twain There's a saying among prospectors: "Go out looking for one thing, and that's all you'll ever find."
-- Robert Flaherty Religion
Marriage is a lottery, but you can't tear up your ticket if you lose.
-- F. M. Knowles Anyone who knows anything of history knows that great social changes are impossible without
feminine upheaval. Social progress can be measured exactly by the social position of the fair sex,
the ugl "What is the difference between exploring and being lost?" (Dan Eldon, photojournalist) What's another word for "Thesaurus?"
-- Steven Wright I have found the paradox that if I love until it hurts, then there is no hurt, but only more love.
-- Mother Teresa Religion Free will is a golden thread running through the frozen matrix of fixed events.
-- Robert A. Heinlein _The Rolling Stones_ The paradox is really the pathos of intellectual life and just as only great souls are exposed to
passions it is only the great thinker who is exposed to what I call paradoxes, which are . . .
grand The Church is an organism that grows best in an alien society.
-- C. Stacey Woods Religion
If you want to recapture your youth, just cut off his allowance.
-- Al Bernstein Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves.
-- Abraham Lincoln "Great indebtedness does not make men grateful, but vengeful; and if a little charity is not forgotten, it turns into a gnawing worm." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche, Thus Spake Zarathustra) The executive exists to make sensible exceptions to general rules.
-- Elting E. Morison The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his.
- General George Patton Religion Does anal retentive have a hyphen?
-- Seen on a t-shirt Accept the things to which fate binds you, and love the people with whom fate brings you
together, but do so with all your heart.
-- Marcus Aurelius One of the greatest discoveries a man makes, one of his great surprises, is to find he can do
what he was afraid he couldn't do.
-- Henry Ford Religion
A kitten is chiefly remarkable for rushing about like mad at nothing whatever, and generally
stopping before it gets there.
-- Agnes Repplier LOVE, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage or by removal of the patient from the
influences under which he incurred the disorder... It is sometimes fatal, but more frequently to the
physician "I believe there are more instances of the abridgement of the freedom of the people by gradual and silent encroachments of those in power than by violent and sudden usurpations." (James Madison) "When a hundred men stand together, each of them loses his mind and gets another one." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) It is well, when judging a friend, to remember that he is judging you with the same godlike and
superior impartiality.
-- Arnold Bennett Religion Sleep is an excellent way of listening to an opera.
- James Stephens Anyone who knows anything of history knows that great social changes are impossible without
feminine upheaval. Social progress can be measured exactly by the social position of the fair sex,
the ugl Now is the time for all good men to come to.
-- Walt Kelly Religion
It has been my experience that folks who have no vices have very few virtues.
-- Abraham Lincoln I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
-- Mark Twain After finding no qualified candidates for the position of principal, the school board is extremely
pleased to announce the appointment of David Steele to the post.
-- Philip Streifer, Superintendent Until the day of his death, no man can be sure of his courage.
-- Jean Anouilh I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.
-- Anonymous Religion No woman marries for money; they are all clever enough, before marrying a millionaire, to fall in
love with him first.
-- Cesare Pavese That's the nature of research--you don't know what in hell you're doing.
-- 'Doc' Edgerton "It ends not with a bang, but a whimper." (Thomas Stearns Eliot, aka T. S. Eliot, The Hollow Man) Religion
It is absurd to divide people into good or bad. People are either charming or tedious.
-- Oscar Wilde "We're an embarrasment to college graduates across America." (James Douglas Morrison, lead singer of The Doors) Mary had a little lamb and the doctor fainted.
-- Anonymous The only thing you will ever be able to say in the so-called 'social' sciences is: "some do, some
don't."
-- Ernest Rutherford "The greatest pleasure in life is doing what others say you cannot do." (Anonymous) Religion When I give a lecture, I accept that people look at their watches, but what I do not tolerate is
when they look at it and raise it to their ear to find out if it stopped.
-- Marcel Achard Sir Francis Drake circumsized the world with a 100-foot clipper.
-- Unknown history student We must believe in free will, we have no choice.
-- Isaac B. Singer Religion
Everyone is a genius at least once a year; a real genius has his original ideas closer together.
- Georg Lichtenberg >From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some
day I intend reading it.
-- Groucho Marx We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we
respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart.
-- H. L. Mencken All marriages are happy. It's living together afterwards that is difficult.
-- Anonymous May you grow so rich your widow's second husband never has to worry about a living, God forbid. Religion Immature love says: "I love you because I need you." Mature love says: "I need you because I
love you."
-- Erich Fromm To the ass, or the sow, their own offspring appears the fairest in creation.
-- Latin Proverb University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.
-- Henry Kissinger Religion
One can survive everything, nowadays, except death, and live down everything except a good
reputation.
-- Oscar Wilde There are some things which cannot be learned quickly, and time, which is all we have, must be
paid heavily for their acquiring. They are the very simplest things and, because it takes a man's
life "What is tolerance? -- it is the consequence of humanity. We are all formed of frailty and error; let us pardon reciprocally each other's folly -- that is the first law of nature." (Francois Marie Ar "All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his." (Oscar Wilde, The Importance of Being Earnest) When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President; I'm beginning to believe it.
-- Clarence Darrow Religion "I have an unfortunate personality." (George Orson Welles) How many legs does a dog have if you call the tail a leg? Four. Calling a tail a leg doesn't make it
a leg.
-- Abraham Lincoln If ever I get married again it would have to be under an anaesthetic.
-- Marie Tonkin Religion
"My wallpaper and I are fighting a duel to the death. One or the other of us has to go." (Oscar Wilde, his last recorded words) "If I were still a critic, I would loathe knowing the person I was writing about. There's enough of an incestuous relationship between subject and writer." (Manny Farber, American film theorist) Trust everybody, but cut the cards.
-- Finley Peter Dunne "We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." (Oscar Wilde) "There is nothing more fearful than ignorance in action." (Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, 1749-1832, Criticisms, Reflections and Maxims) Religion "Love matches, so called, have illusion for their father and need for their mother." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) "I should reproach him for not giving us enough evidence." (Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 1872-1970, what he would say to God if they 'met') The philosophy exam was a piece of cake -- which was a bit of a surprise, actually, because I
was expecting some questions on a sheet of paper.
-- Smith & Jones Religion
"This is slavery, not to speak one's thought." (Euripides) "By seeing the seed of failure in every success, we remain humble. By seeing the seed of success in every failure we remain hopeful." (Mel Ziegler, founder of Banana Republic) Here's a toast to your new bride who has everything a girl could want in her life, except for good
taste in men!
-- Wedding Toast Love means to love that which is unlovable; or it is no virtue at all.
-- G. K. Chesterton A Code of Honor: Never approach a friend's girlfriend or wife with mischief as your goal. There
are just too many women in the world to justify that sort of dishonorable behavior. Unless she's
reall Religion "I am a part of all that I have met." (Alfred Lord Tennyson, 1809-1892, English poet) I should have no objection to a repetition of the same life from its beginning, only asking the
advantages authors have in a second edition to correct some faults of the first.
-- Benjamin Franklin There are two major products that come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX. We don't believe this to
be a coincidence.
-- Jeremy S. Anderson Religion
If it is not right do not do it; if it is not true do not say it.
-- Marcus Aurelius .. I am indebted to the cat for a particular kind of honorable deceit, for a greater control over
myself, for a characteristic aversion to brutal sounds, and for the need to keep silent for long
per The most wasted day of all is that in which we have not laughed.
-- Sebastian Roch Nicolas Chamfort Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me.
- Ambrose Bierce Love is like pi - natural, irrational, and very important.
-- Lisa Hoffman Religion "Drugs have done a lot of good. A lot of good songs have been written. 'Penny Lane' is worth 10 dead kids. 'Dark Side of the Moon?' 100 dead kids. At least that many were conceived by people listening Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.
-- Anonymous Whoever is not a misanthrope at forty can never have loved mankind.
-- Sebastian Roch Nicolas Chamfort Religion
