Celestial navigation is based on the premise that the Earth is the center of the universe. The
premise is wrong, but the navigation works. An incorrect model can be a useful tool.
-- Kelvin Throop I Actually, the only memory I have of being a Cub Scout was trying to get my hat back. That was all
I did. Run back and forth at my bus stop going "Quit it."
-- Jerry Seinfeld For best results: wash in cold water separately, hang dry and iron with warm iron. For not so good
results: drag behind car through puddles, blow-dry on roofrack.
-- Laundry instructions on a shirt "Experience is the name that everyone gives to their mistakes." (Oscar Wilde) "I had discovered that a person does not have to be this or be that or be anything, not even oneself. One is free." (Walker Percy, The Moviegoer) Disability Resources If all these sweet young things were laid end to end, I wouldn't be the slightest bit surprised.
-- Dorothy Parker "Nietzsche was stupid and abnormal." (Leo Tolstoy, 1828-1910) "The love of liberty is the love of others; the love of power is the love of ourselves." (William Hazlitt) Disability Resources
"Fake is as old as the Eden tree." (George Orson Welles) "No one ever owns his youth or the women he loves." (Pedro Almodóvar, Live Flesh) Never express yourself more clearly than you are able to think.
-- Niels Bohr The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it.
-- George Bernard Shaw "A woman may very well form a friendship with a man, but for this to endure, it must be assisted by a little physical antipathy." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Disability Resources The fantasy which serves as a support for the figure of the Stalinist Communist is therefore
exactly the same as the fantasy which is at work in the Tom and Jerry cartoons.
-- Slavoj Zizek Miracles occur naturally as expressions of love. The real miracle is the love that inspires them. In
this sense everything that comes from love is a miracle.
-- Marianne Williamson There is no one so bound to his own face that he does not cherish the hope of presenting another
to the world.
-- Antonio Machado Disability Resources
Sleep is that golden chain that ties health and our bodies together.
-- Thomas Dekker "Life is a great surprise. I don't see why death should not be an even greater one." (Vladimir Nabokov) We are all here for a spell; get all the good laughs you can.
-- Will Rogers The average, healthy, well-adjusted adult gets up at seven-thirty in the morning feeling just plain
terrible.
-- Jean Kerr The trouble with our times is that the future is not what it used to be.
-- Paul Valery Disability Resources "By seeing the seed of failure in every success, we remain humble. By seeing the seed of success in every failure we remain hopeful." (Mel Ziegler, founder of Banana Republic) It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims.
- Aristotle Universities incline wits to sophistry and affectation.
-- Francis Bacon Disability Resources
There is no reason for any individual to have a computer in his home.
-- Kenneth H. Olson, President of DEC, Convention of the World Future Society, 1977 Watching the debate this afternoon it was apparent they loved term limits in the House -- as
Brutus loved Caesar.
-- Bill Moyers "I have an unfortunate personality." (George Orson Welles) The possibility that we may fail in the struggle ought not to deter us from the support of a cause
we believe to be just.
-- Abraham Lincoln When you steal from one author, it's plagiarism; if you steal from many, it's research.
-- Wilson Mizner Disability Resources The advantage of a classical education is that it enables you to despise the wealth which it
prevents you from achieving.
-- Russell Green The older one grows, the more one likes indecency.
-- Virginia Woolf Cute little babies that fall out of swings - These are a few of my favourite things.
-- Oscar Hammerstein, working lyric for a piece from "The Sound of Music" Disability Resources
The first clergyman was the first rascal who met the first fool.
-- Voltaire "When even one American--who has done nothing wrong--is forced by fear to shut his mind and close his mouth--then all Americans are in peril." (Harry S. Truman) He who has a 'why' to live, can bear with almost any 'how'.
- Friedrich Nietzsche Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
- George Burns "Workers of the world unite; you have nothing to lose but your chains." (Karl Marx) Disability Resources Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has not heart; and any man who is over 30, and is
not a conservative, has no brains.
- Sir Winston Churchill Compromise: An amiable arrangement between husband and wife whereby they agree to let her
have her own way.
-- Anonymous I think of my wife and I think of Lot, and I think of the lucky break he got. Disability Resources
blah "The best students always are flunking. Every good teacher knows that." (Robert M. Pirsig, Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance) "Try not to have a good time ... This is supposed to be educational." (Charles Schultz) Well, I think that it's a- it's had some difficult times but I think we have- we, I think, have been able
to make some very good progress and it's- I would say that it's- it's- it's delightful that w "A woman may very well form a friendship with a man, but for this to endure, it must be assisted by a little physical antipathy." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) If you cannot be the master of your language, you must be its slave. If you cannot examine your
thoughts, you have no choice but to think them, however silly they may be.
-- Richard Mitchell, from Disability Resources Musical people always want one to be perfectly dumb at the very moment when one is longing to
be perfectly deaf.
-- Oscar Wilde The multitude is always in the wrong.
-- Wentworth Dillon, Earl of Roscommon, 1684 Cliches should be avoided like the plague.
-- Anon. Disability Resources
"Nothing is permanent but change." (Heraclitus) Husband: a man who buys his football tickets four months in advance and waits until December 24 to do his Christmas shopping. "The only man who behaved sensibly was my tailor; he took my measurement anew every time he saw me, while all the rest went on with their old measurements and expected them to fit me." (George Bernar Nothing says lovin' like marrying your cousin!
-- Al Bundy, character on "Married with Children," U.S. television show Character is what you are in the dark.
-- Dwight L. Moody Disability Resources Action springs not from thought, but from a readiness for responsibility.
-- Dietrich Bonhoeffer "No man means all he says, and yet very few say all they mean, for words are slippery and thought is viscous." (Henry B. Adams) Where there is marriage without love, there will be love without marriage.
-- Benjamin Franklin Disability Resources
Experience is not what happens to you; it's what you do with what happens to you.
-- Aldous Huxley They gave me a book of checks. They didn't ask for any deposits.
-- Joe Early, Congressman (D-Mass), at a press conference to answer questions about the
House Bank scandal Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along so well? They have the same enemy-- the
mother.
-- Claudette Colbert Music with dinner is an insult both to the cook and the violinist.
-- G. K. Chesterton "I expect nothing. I fear no one. I am free." (Nikos Kazantzakis) Disability Resources The male is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness, can be trained to do most things.
-- Jilly Cooper You can close your eyes to reality, but not to memories.
-- Stanislaw J. Lem Sex is like bridge: If you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand.
-- Charles Pierce Disability Resources
I am beginning to suspect all elaborate and special systems of education. They seem to me to be
built upon the supposition that every child is a kind of idiot who must be taught to think.
-- Anne S "Inside of a ring or out, ain't nothing wrong with going down. It's staying down that's wrong." (Muhammad Ali) "The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time." (Abraham Lincoln, 1809-65) Ambition is not a vice of little people.
-- Michel de Montaigne Too bad all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving cabs and cutting hair.
-- George Burns Disability Resources What is life? It is the flash of a firefly in the night. It is the breath of a buffalo in the wintertime. It is
the little shadow which runs across the grass and loses itself in the sunset.
-- Crow In great matters men show themselves as they wish to be seen; in small matters, as they are.
-- Gamaliel Bradford True, we love life, not because we are used to living, but because we are used to loving. There is
always some madness in love, but there is also always some reason in madness.
-- Friedrich Nietzsch Disability Resources
The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.
-- Lily Tomlin I love children, especially when they cry, for then someone takes them away.
-- Nancy Mitford A husband is what's left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.
-- Helen Rowland "If liberty and equality, as is thought by some, are chiefly to be found in democracy, they will be best attained when all persons alike share in government to the utmost." (Aristotle) There is a coherent plan in the universe, though I don't know what it's a plan for.
-- Fred Hoyle Disability Resources Patriotism is the last refuge of the scoundrel.
-- Samuel Johnson "In large states public education will always be mediocre, for the same reason that in large kitchens the cooking is usually bad." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Blessed is he who has learned to laugh at himself, for he shall never cease to be entertained.
-- John Powell Disability Resources
"If a man does not make new acquaintances as he advances through life, he will soon find himself left alone. A man, sir, should keep his friendship in a constant repair." (Samuel Johnson) Marriage certificate is just another word for a work permit. The first rule of intelligent tinkering is to save all the parts.
-- Paul Ehrlich Guys are lucky because they get to grow mustaches. I wish I could. It's like having a little pet for
your face.
-- Anita Wise Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
-- Erma Bombeck Disability Resources "Even a stopped clock is right twice a day." (Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach) I have an existential map; it has 'you are here' written all over it.
- Steven Wright This compact disc is made from analog masters recorded without noise reduction. Half the tracks,
in fact, were recorded in a dismal, cheap basement eight-track studio with puddles of water on
the fl Disability Resources
