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Askern Links

Askern College - Offers a genealogical and historical interest in the College.
Premier Bikes - Dealers for Aprilia, Moto Guzzi and CCM motorbikes, offering online shopping, company information, motorbike training and details of events.
A Junction Network North - The Association's aim is to establish and provide a range of social, educational and economic opportunities for community members to participate in across the Northern Corridor of Doncaster. Site includes services, job club and contact details.
Ask Our Lady - Catholic parish serving the communities of Bentley, Askern and Burghwallis. Mass times, contact details, newsletter, St Anne's rest home, and Catholic history in the area.
Askern Golden Jubilee 2002 - Record of the celebration in the village.
"A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools." (Douglas Adams) I like nonsense -- it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living. It's a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope...and that enables you to laugh at all Experience teaches only the teachable. -- Aldous Huxley >From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it. -- Groucho Marx I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown. -- Woody Allen Askern Man is the only animal that laughs and has a state legislature. -- Samuel Butler "Shared joys make a friend, not shared sufferings." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) For most of history, Anonymous was a woman. -- Virginia Woolf Askern The best theology would need no advocates; it would prove itself. -- Karl Barth To love someone deeply gives you strength. Being loved by someone deeply gives you courage. -- Lao Tzu Always behave like a duck--keep calm and unruffled on the surface but paddle like the devil underneath. -- Jacob Braude I never hated a man enough to give him his diamonds back. -- Zsa Zsa Gabor "If it doesn't matter who wins or loses, then why do they keep score?" (Vince Lombardi) Askern Give her two red roses, each with a note. The first note says "For the woman I love" and the second, "For my best friend." -- Anonymous He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death. - H. H. Munro (Saki) Beauty as we feel it is something indescribable; what it is or what it means can never be said. -- George Santayana Askern The only one of your children who does not grow up and move away is your husband. Familiarity breeds contempt -- and children. -- Mark Twain Do not assume that she who seeks to comfort you now, lives untroubled among the simple and quiet words that sometimes do you good. Her life may also have much sadness and difficulty, that remains fa A friend is one who knows us, but loves us anyway. -- Fr. Jerome Cummings The philosophy exam was a piece of cake -- which was a bit of a surprise, actually, because I was expecting some questions on a sheet of paper. -- Smith & Jones Askern then the world 's mine oyster -- William Shakespeare, The Merry Wives of Windsor Value your words. Each one may be the last. -- Stanislaw J. Lec Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of sin. -- John Von Neuman Askern "I am a part of all that I have met." (Alfred Lord Tennyson, 1809-1892, English poet) The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity. But not in that order. -- Brian Pickrell It is always incomprehensible to a man that a woman should ever refuse an offer of marriage. -- Jane Austen "Great spirits have always found violent opposition from mediocrities. The latter cannot understand it when a man does not thoughtlessly submit to hereditary prejudices but honestly and courageously u "Pay no attention to what the critics say; there has never been set up a statue in honor of a critic." (Jean Sibelius) Askern You are never given a wish without also being given the power to make it come true. -- Richard Bach If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one? -- Abraham Lincoln I didn't accept it. I received it. -- Richard Allen, National Security Advisor to President Reagan, explaining the $1000 in cash and two watches he was given by two Japanese journalists after he hel Askern "Think off-center." (George Carlin) English Law prohibits a man from marrying his mother-in-law. This is our idea of useless legislation. It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog. - Mark Twain When I have a kid, I wanna put him in one of those strollers for twins, then run around the mall looking frantic. -- Steven Wright Advertising may be described as the science of arresting human intelligence long enough to get money from it. -- Stephen Leacock Askern Assassins! -- Arturo Toscanini, to his orchestra "I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members." (Groucho Marx) "True friends, like diamonds, are precious and rare. False friends, like autumn leaves, are found everywhere." (Anonymous) Askern Chase after the truth like all hell and you'll free yourself, even though you never touch its coattails. -- Clarence Darrow I think of my wife and I think of Lot, and I think of the lucky break he got. We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give. -- Winston Churchill Love is the same as like except you feel sexier. -- Judith Viorst Infatuation is when you think that he's as sexy as Robert Redford, as smart as Henry Kissinger, as noble as Ralph Nader, as funny as Woody Allen, and as athletic as Jimmy Conners. Love is when you r Askern The only Zen you find on the tops of mountains is the Zen you bring up there. -- Robert M. Pirsig The higher up you go, the more mistakes you are allowed. Right at the top, if you make enough of them, it's considered to be your style. -- Fred Astaire "We have to be able to criticise what we love, to say what we have to say 'cause if your not trying to make something better, than as far as I can tell, you are just in the way." (Ani Difranco) Askern Honest disagreement is often a good sign of progress. -- Gandhi To expect defeat is nine-tenths of defeat itself. -- Francis Crawford "You exist only in what you do." (Federico Fellini) Logic is in the eye of the logician. - Gloria Steinem "Feeding is a very important ritual for me. I don't trust people who don't like to eat." (Gina Gershon) Askern Better watch out that you won't become a television set in your next life. --Loesje We love because it's the only true adventure. -- Nikki Giovanni "The White Rabbit put on his spectacles. 'Where shall I begin, please your Majesty?' he asked. 'Begin at the beginning,' the King said gravely, 'and go on till you come to the end: then stop.'" (Lewi Askern If life were predictable it would cease to be life, and be without flavor. -- Eleanor Roosevelt I believe in equality for everyone, except reporters and photographers. -- Gandhi "I consider it the highest compliment when my employees go out and start their own companies in competition with me. I always send them a plant to wish them well. Of course, it's a cactus." (Norman B A Sunday school is a prison in which children do penance for the evil conscience of their parents. -- H. L. Mencken "The most exciting attractions are between two opposites that never meet." (Andy Warhol) Askern We have to keep trying things we're not sure we can pull off. If we just do the things we know we can do... you don't grow as much. You gotta take those chances on making those big mistakes. -- Cybi "You can get help from teachers, but you are going to have to learn a lot by yourself, sitting alone in a room." (Theodor Seuss Geisel, a.k.a. Dr. Seuss, 1904-1991, On becoming a writer, NY Times 21 Joint Checking Account: a handly little device which permits my wife to beat me to the draw. Askern ... it is certain that the real function of art is to increase our self-consciousness; to make us more aware of what we are, and therefore of what the universe in which we live really is. And since "Fools rush in where angels fear to tread." (Alexander Pope) "People expect a certain reaction from a business, and when you pleasantly exceed those expectations, you've somehow passed an important psychological threshold." (Richard Thalheimer, president, The If other people are going to talk, conversation becomes impossible. -- James McNeill Whistler "Nothing has been purchased more dearly than the little bit of reason and sense of freedom which now constitutes our pride." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Askern The gods too are fond of a joke. -- Aristotle "Eternal vigilance is the price of freedom." (Raymonde Uy) A person is not given integrity. It results from the relentless pursuit of honesty at all times. -- Anon. Askern Thanksgiving is so called because we are all so thankful that it only comes once a year. -- P. J. O'Rourke "Children spell love...T-I-M-E." (Dr. Anthony P. Witham) If you can't feed a hundred people, then feed just one. -- Mother Teresa The Internet is so big, so powerful and pointless that for some people it is a complete substitute for life. -- Andrew Brown "There are some enterprises in which a careful disorderliness is the true method." (Herman Melville, Moby Dick) Askern Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt. -- Abraham Lincoln I like nonsense -- it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living. It's a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope...and that enables you to laugh at all America's one of the finest countries anyone ever stole. -- Bobcat Goldthwait Askern Creativity is piercing the mundane to find the marvelous. -- Bill Moyers Each religion, by the help of more or less myth which it takes more or less seriously, proposes some method of fortifying the human soul and enabline it to make its peace with its destiny. -- George One survey found that ten percent of Americans thought Joan of Arc was Noah's wife.... -- Robert Boynton "Ah! Don't say you agree with me. When people agree with me I always feel that I must be wrong." (Oscar Wilde) Happy are those who dream dreams and are willing to pay the price to make them come true. -- Anon. Askern "Avoid providing material for the drama that is always stretched tight between parents and children; it uses up much of the children's strength and wastes the love of the elders, which acts and warms "For better or for worse, our company (The News Corporation Ltd.) is a reflection of my thinking, my character, my values." (Keith Rupert Murdoch, media mogul, 1931-) "In order to attain the impossible, one must attempt the absurd." (Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra, 1547-1616) Askern
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