"A true friend stabs you in the front." (Oscar Wilde) "Commit yourself to quality from day one ... it's better to do nothing at all than to do something badly." (Mark McCormack) It takes two to speak truth --One to speak, and another to hear.
-- Henry David Thoreau Love is like the measles. The older you get it, the worse the attack.
-- Mary Roberts Rhinehart No man is good enough to govern another man without that other's consent.
-- Abraham Lincoln Mexborough cannot imagine any condition which would cause this ship to founder. Modern shipbuilding has
gone beyond that.
-- E. I. Smith, Captain of the Titanic Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.
-- George Jean Nathan A woman's always younger than a man of equal years.
-Elizabeth Barrett Browning, Aurora Leigh Mexborough
The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it.
-- George Bernard Shaw The community stagnates without the impulse of the individual. The impulse dies away without
the sympathy of the community.
-- William James A thing is not necessarily true because badly uttered, nor false because spoken magnificently.
-- St. Augustine Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it
- Henry David Thoreau Can you imagine what I would do if I could do all I can?
-- The Artist Formerly Known As Prince Mexborough Jimmy Carter as President is like Truman Capote marrying Dolly Parton. The job is just too big for him. -- Rich Little "Love is blind; friendship closes its eyes." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Man is a natural polygamist. He always has one woman leading him by the nose and another
hanging on to his coattails.
-- H. L. Mencken Mexborough
"He who can, does. He who cannot, teaches." (George Bernard Shaw) A person starts to live when he can live outside himself.
-- Albert Einstein There are three kinds of death in this world. There's heart death, there's brain death, and there's
being off the network.
-- Guy Almes blah "Each friend represents a world in us; a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only in meeting them that a new world is born." (Anais Nin) Patriotism is your conviction that this country is superior to all others because you were born in it.
-- George Bernard Shaw Mexborough To decide, to be at the level of choice, is to take responsibility for your life and to be in control of
your life.
-- Abbie M. Dale The lover knows much more about absolute good and universal beauty than any logician or
theologian, unless the latter, too, be lovers in disguise.
-- George Santayana Women's liberationists spread the word that...the only peaceful family is one in which either the
wife is enslaved or the husband is androgynous.
-- R. Emmett Tyell, The Liberal Crack-Up, 1984 Mexborough
You can't buy love, but you can pay heavily for it.
-- Henny Youngman And life is what we make it. Always has been, always will be.
-- Grandma Moses Anything is possible, but only a few things actually happen.
-- Richard Rosen Minds are like parachutes - they only function when open.
-- Thomas Dewar If everybody is thinking alike, then somebody isn't thinking.
-- George S. Patton, Jr. Mexborough The male is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness, can be trained to do most things.
-- Jilly Cooper Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech.
- Martin Fraquhar Tupper "Oh, the tiger will love you. There is no sincerer love than the love of food." (George Bernard Shaw, Man and Superman) Mexborough
Whenever you eliminate the inedible, whatever remains, however unpalatable, must be food.
-- Anonymous Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson I owe the government $3400 in taxes. So I sent them two hammers and a toilet seat.
-- Michael McShane Don't anthropomorphize computers -- they hate it.
-- Anonymous Now is the time for all good men to come to the aid of their country.
-- Typewriting exercise Mexborough The love we give away is the only love we keep.
-- Elbert Hubbard Marriage is a romance in which the heroine dies in the first chapter.
-- Cecilia Egan The world has suffered more from the ravages of ill-advised marriages than from virginity.
-- Ambrose Bierce Mexborough
I must follow the people. Am I not their leader?
-- Benjamin Disraeli Love: An obsessive delusion that is cured by marriage. Go away...I'm alright.
-- H. G. Wells, dying words Any intelligent woman who reads the marriage contract, and then goes into it, deserves all the
consequences.
-- Isadora Duncan Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
-- Seen on a bumper sticker Mexborough The sun never sets on the British empire because Britain is in the east and the sun sets in the
west.
-- Unknown history student "I like boring things." (Andy Warhol, Holy Terror: Andy Warhol Close Up) When I have a kid, I wanna put him in one of those strollers for twins, then run around the mall
looking frantic.
-- Steven Wright Mexborough
"It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open one's mouth and remove all doubt." (Abraham Lincoln, 1809-65) "Twelve magicians and two carnies have been shot dead doing the bullet catch. That's cool enough, but every night when we close our show with that trick and the loaded gun gets pointed in my face, it Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of
humor is just common sense, dancing.
-- Clive James "I heard the old, old, men say 'all that's beautiful drifts away, like the waters.'" (William Butler Yeats) "I hear, I know. I see, I remember. I do, I understand." (Confucius, 551 BC-479) Mexborough Marriage is like a bank account. You put it in, you take it out, you lose interest.
-- Irwin Corey A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.
-- Gloria Steinem "Nothing touches a work of art so little as words of criticism: they always result in more or less fortunate misunderstandings." (Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet) Mexborough
Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft...and the only one that can be mass
produced with unskilled labor.
-- Wernher von Braun I feel like Zsa Zsa Gabor's sixth husband. I know what I'm supposed to do, but I don't know how
to make it interesting.
-- Milton Berle, when called to the microphone at the 2nd Annual Comedians Hal "Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is like expecting a bull not to attack you because you are a vegetarian." (Dennis Wholey) A grouch escapes so many little annoyances that it almost pays to be one.
-- Kin Hubbard "Never frighten a little man. He'll kill you." (Robert A. Heinlein) Mexborough A man can't be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
- Oscar Wilde "Is life not a thousand times too short for us to bore ourselves?" (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) "Things do not change, we change." (Henry David Thoreau) Mexborough
"Some people must go to extremes to get the world in balance for themselves. Some can't bear bright lights, so wherever they go they search for the dark; they turn the lights down, anything to sustain "REASONABLE, adj. Accessible to the infection of our own opinions. Hospitable to persuasion, dissuasion and evasion." (Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary) The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I
have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.
-- George Bernard Shaw Many a man's reputation would not know his character if they met on the street.
- Elbert Hubbard Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and annoys the pig.
-- Anonymous Mexborough When he first ran for office, he appealed to the voters: "I never stole anything in my life. All I ask
is a chance."
-- Anon. The less their ability, the more their conceit.
Ahad HaAm If all men were brothers, would you let one marry your sister? Mexborough
A friend is a gift you give yourself.
-- Robert Louis Stevenson "I have learned that to be with those I like is enough." (Walt Whitman) It is best to learn as we go, not go as we have learned.
-- Leslie Jeanne Sahler "I expect nothing. I fear no one. I am free." (Nikos Kazantzakis) Let him who would enjoy a good future waste none of his present.
-- Roger Babson Mexborough The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and
remove the crabgrass on your lawn. The Republicans are the party that says government doesn't
work and the Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.
-- George Jean Nathan Whenever you eliminate the inedible, whatever remains, however unpalatable, must be food.
-- Anonymous Mexborough
"All women love the men they fear. All women kiss the hand that rules them." (Lionel Atwill) Does anal retentive have a hyphen?
-- Seen on a t-shirt In the book of life, the answers aren't in the back.
-- Charlie Brown, character in "Peanuts" comic strip, created by Charles Schultz The real problem is not whether machines think but whether men do.
-- B. F. Skinner There are two major products that come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX. We don't believe this to
be a coincidence.
-- Jeremy S. Anderson Mexborough This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold
of a hammer.
-- Will Rogers "There is no quality in this world that is not what it is merely by contrast. Nothing exists in itself." (Herman Melville) The difference between false memories and true ones is the same as for jewels: it is always the
false ones that look the most real, the most brilliant.
-- Salvador Dali Mexborough
