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I don't know if God exists, but it would be better for His reputation if He didn't.
-- Jules Renard Marriage is like a mousetrap. Those on the outside are trying to get in. Those on the inside are trying to get out. The way to love anything is to realize that it might be lost.
-- G. K. Chesterton "Eschew the ordinary, disdain the commonplace. If you have a single-minded need for something, let it be the unusual, the esoteric, the bizarre, the unexpected..." (Chuck Jones) When you steal from one author, it's plagiarism; if you steal from many, it's research.
-- Wilson Mizner Ash "He who can, does. He who cannot, teaches." (George Bernard Shaw) "To err is human; to forgive, divine." (Alexander Pope) There are three great friends: an old wife, an old dog, and ready money.
-- Benjamin Franklin Ash
"The happy people are failures because they are on such good terms with themselves they don't give a damn." (Agatha Christie) And since the stench of death will always attract flies and vermin, the arrival of Geraldo was
perhaps inevitable.
-- Garry Trudeau If ever two were one, then surely we.
If ever man were loved by wife, then thee.
-- Anne Bradstreet Whenever a husband and wife begin to discuss their marriage, they are giving evidence at an
inquest.
-- H. L. Mencken What is life? It is the flash of a firefly in the night. It is the breath of a buffalo in the wintertime. It is
the little shadow which runs across the grass and loses itself in the sunset.
-- Crow Ash How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create
it herself.
- Anais Nin Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.
- H. G. Wells Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life.
-- Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for a federal anti-smoking
campaign Ash
Genius is an African who dreams up snow.
-- Vladimir Nabokov There is one thing stronger than all the armies in the world; and that is an idea whose time has
come.
-- Victor Hugo A man's wife has more power over him than the state has.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson "Education is a vacine for violence." (Edward James Olmos) The most happy marriage I can imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind
woman.
-- S. T. Coleridge Ash "In some ways, I never outgrew my adolescence. I wake up in the morning and think, 'Oh my God, I'm late for a math test!' But then I say, 'Wait a minute. I'm 40.'" (Daniel Clowes) You can complain because roses have thorns, or you can rejoice because thorns have roses.
-- Ziggy, character in comic strip by Tom Wilson I begin by taking. I shall find scholars later to demonstrate my perfect right.
- Frederick (II) the Great Ash
"I learned more from the one restaurant that didn't work than from all the ones that were successes." (Wolfgang Puck, restauranteur) I tried a mail order bride, once, but she was damaged in the mail, and I had to return the unused part for my full refund. I regret that I have but one life to give for my country.
-- Nathan Hale My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a
philosopher.
- Socrates The second half of a man's life is made up of nothing but the habits he has acquired during the
first half.
Fyodor Dostoevsky (1821 - 1881) Ash Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.
- Napoleon Bonaparte The lover knows much more about absolute good and universal beauty than any logician or
theologian, unless the latter, too, be lovers in disguise.
-- George Santayana That is the best -- to laugh with someone because you think the same things are funny.
-- Gloria Vanderbilt Ash
Whenever I date a guy, I think, is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
-- Rita Rudner "We always get bored with those whom we bore." (François VI Duke (duc) de La Rochefoucauld, 1616-80) You are never given a wish without also being given the power to make it come true.
-- Richard Bach "Conscience and cowardice are really the same things. Conscience is the trade-name of the firm. That is all." (Oscar Wilde) "Failure is not an option!" (Ed Harris, as Gene Kranz, Apollo 13) Ash When people talk, listen completely. Most people never listen.
-- Ernest Hemingway Coffee is a beverage that puts one to sleep when not drank.
-- Alphonse Allais I would have made a good Pope.
-- Richard Nixon, U.S. President Ash
Statistics are like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive, but what they conceal is vital.
-- Aaron Levenstein Reality is nothing but a collective hunch.
-- Lily Tomlin We are not retreating - we are advancing in another Direction.
- General Douglas MacArthur "Small minds discuss people, average minds discuss events, great minds discuss ideas." (Anonymous) Advertising may be described as the science of arresting human intelligence long enough to get
money from it.
-- Stephen Leacock Ash "Over grown military establishments are under any form of government inauspicious to liberty, and are to be regarded as particularly hostile to republican liberty." (George Washington) Hell is paved with good samaritans.
-- William M. Holden We always believe our first love is our last, and our last love our first.
-- Anonymous Ash
We love because it's the only true adventure.
-- Nikki Giovanni Sir Francis Drake circumsized the world with a 100-foot clipper.
-- Unknown history student Better to die ten thousand deaths than wound my honor.
-- Joseph Addison There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as
though everything is a miracle.
-- Albert Einstein "I never learned from a man who agreed with me." (Robert A. Heinlein) Ash Not much meat on her, but what's there is choice.
-- Spencer Tracy, about Katharine Hepburn Did you hear about the scientist whose wife had twins? He baptized one and kept the other as a control. Most rock journalism is people who can't write interviewing people who can't talk for people who
can't read.
-- Frank Zappa Ash
There are not enough Indians in the world to defeat the Seventh Cavalry.
-- George Armstrong Custer There is no more lovely, friendly and charming relationship, communion or company than a good
marriage
-- Martin Luther If you can't convince them, confuse them.
-- Harry S. Truman "Failure is not an option!" (Ed Harris, as Gene Kranz, Apollo 13) Nature gave men two ends - one to sit on and one to think with. Ever since then man's success or
failure has been dependent on the one he used most.
-- George R. Kirkpatrick Ash Health food makes me sick.
-- Calvin Trillin I think every woman is entitled to a middle husband she can forget.
-- Adela Rogers St. John I didn't accept it. I received it.
-- Richard Allen, National Security Advisor to President Reagan, explaining the $1000 in cash and
two watches he was given by two Japanese journalists after he hel Ash
They were doing a full back shot of me in a swimsuit and I thought, Oh my God, I have to be so
brave. See, every woman hates herself from behind.
-- Cindy Crawford, supermodel "If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way." (Mark Twain) The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing. One
cannot help but be in awe when he contemplates the mysteries of eternity, of life, of the
marvelous str Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man your wife would have preferred. "When even one American--who has done nothing wrong--is forced by fear to shut his mind and close his mouth--then all Americans are in peril." (Harry S. Truman) Ash When we do the best that we can, we never know what miracle is wrought in our life, or in the life
of another.
-- Helen Keller A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.
- Helen Rowland A great deal of talent is lost to the world for want of a little courage. Every day sends to their
graves obscure men whom timidity prevented from making a first effort.
-- Sydney Smith Ash
A woman seldom asks advice before she has bought her wedding clothes.
-- Joseph Addison This search for what you want is like tracking something that doesn't want to be tracked. It takes
time to get a dance right, to create something memorable.
-- Fred Astaire No race can prosper till it learns that there is as much dignity in tilling a field as in writing a poem.
-- Booker T. Washington A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend upon the support of Paul.
-- George Bernard Shaw Not to anticipate is already to moan.
-- Leonardo da Vinci Ash Laywers, I suppose, were children once.
-- Charles Lamb When in doubt, make a fool of yourself. There is a microscopically thin line between being
brilliantly creative and acting like the most gigantic idiot on earth. So what the hell, leap.
-- Cynthia H Television: A medium. So called because it is neither rare nor well done.
-- Ernie Kovacs Ash
Life - a sexually transmitted terminal condition.
-- Walter Prager "Any intelligent woman who reads the marriage contract, and then goes into it, deserves all the consequences." (Isadora Duncan) "One often contradicts an opinion when what is uncongenial is really the tone in which it was conveyed." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) "Who controls the past controls the future. Who controls the present controls the past." (George Orwell) Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know.
-- Ernest Hemingway Ash The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity. But not in that order.
-- Brian Pickrell The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other
is ready.
-- Henry David Thoreau The executive exists to make sensible exceptions to general rules.
-- Elting E. Morison Ash
