"Death where is thy sting? Love, where is thy glory?" (William Shakespeare) May your wife be a witch who takes after her mother, and may you all live together in a one-room house. "It serves me right for putting all my eggs in one bastard." (Dorothy Parker, 1893-1967, US writer) Gravitation cannot be held responsible for people falling in love.
-- Albert Einstein I was going to change my shirt, but I changed my mind instead.
-- Winnie the Pooh News and Media "Careful?! Was my mother careful when she stabbed me in the heart with a coat hanger while I was still in the womb?" (Trey Parker) Vote for the man who promises least. He'll be the least disappointing.
-- Bernard Baruch Life is a succession of lessons enforced by immediate reward, or, oftener, by immediate
chastisement.
-- Ernest Dimnet News and Media
I'm worried that the universe will soon need replacing. It's not holding a charge.
-- Edward Chilton Airplane travel is nature's way of making you look like your passport photo.
-- Al Gore, U.S. Vice President The empires of the future are the empires of the mind.
-- Winston Churchill Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go.
-- T.S. Eliot "We're an embarrasment to college graduates across America." (James Douglas Morrison, lead singer of The Doors) News and Media Call on God, but row away from the rocks.
-- Indian proverb In times of profound change, the learners inherit the earth, while the learned find themselves
beautifully equipped to deal with a world that no longer exists.
-- Al Rogers, Global SchoolHouse Netw Standing in the middle of the road is very dangerous; you get knocked down by the traffic from
both sides.
-- Margaret Thatcher News and Media
"The purpose of Compulsory Education is to deprive the common people of their commonsense." (Gilbert Keith Chesterton) Ordinary riches can be stolen, real riches cannot. In your soul are infinitely precious things that
cannot be taken from you.
-- Oscar Wilde Cricket is best described as organised loafing.
-- Anonymous British Radio Broadcaster, 1996 "Mistakes are the portals of discovery." (James Joyce) "For others do I wait ... for higher ones, stronger ones, more triumphant ones, merrier ones, for such as are built squarely in body and soul: laughing lions must come." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) News and Media The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open. -- Groucho Marx The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other
is ready.
-- Henry David Thoreau I could prove God statistically.
-- George Gallup News and Media
If it weren't for marriage, men and women would have to fight with total strangers.
-- Anonymous Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.
-- Albert Einstein Every child is born a genius.
-- R. Buckminster Fuller Marriage is low down, but you spend the rest of your life paying for it. If the headache would only precede the intoxication, alcoholism would be a virtue.
-- Samuel Butler News and Media "...when you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth." (Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, Sherlock Holmes) Few men have virtue to withstand the highest bidder.
-- George Washington There are two major products that come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX. We don't believe this to
be a coincidence.
-- Jeremy S. Anderson News and Media
"Furious activity is no substitute for understanding." (H. H. Williams) Dew knot trussed yore spell chequer two fined awl yore mistakes.
-- Brendan Hills Convictions are more dangerous enemies of truth than lies.
-- Friedrich Nietzsche What if it was cats who invented technology... would they have tv shows starring rubber sqeak
toys?
-- Douglas Coupland "If I were still a critic, I would loathe knowing the person I was writing about. There's enough of an incestuous relationship between subject and writer." (Manny Farber, American film theorist) News and Media "Nothing is permanent but change." (Heraclitus) I don't know exactly what democracy is. But we need more of it.
-- Anonymous Chinese Student, during protests in Tianamen Square, Beijing, 1989 It is not necessary to understand things in order to argue about them.
-- Pierre Augustin de Beaumarchais News and Media
He who hesitates is a damned fool.
- Mae West The coziness between church and state is good for the state and bad for the church.
-- G. K. Chesterton "The act of policing is, in order to punish less often, to punish more severely." (Napoleon Bonaparte) No one can earn a million dollars honestly.
- William Jennings Bryan "Humans beings can always be relied upon to assert, with vigor, their god-given right to be stupid." (Dean Koontz, Seize the Night) News and Media A dollar saved is a quarter earned.
-- John Ciardi The telephone company is urging people to *please* not use the telephone unless it is absolutely
necessary in order to keep the lines open for emergency personnel. We'll be right back after this
bre Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that
can be shot when it breaks down.
-- Russell Baker News and Media
Don't marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper. "If A equals success, then the formula is: A = X + Y + Z, X is work. Y is play. Z is keep your mouth shut." (Albert Einstein) Everything has been figured out, except how to live.
- Jean-Paul Sartre blah bla "I never think of the future. It comes soon enough." (Albert Einstein) "Life is measured by the rapidity of change, the succession of influences that modify the being." (George Eliot) News and Media "Dreams are the touchstones of our personality." (Henry David Thoreau) At the bottom no one in life can help anyone else in life; this one experiences over and over in
every conflict and every perplexity: that one is alone. That isn't as bad as it may first appear; and He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.
- Abraham Lincoln News and Media
It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims.
- Aristotle "If a man does not make new acquaintances as he advances through life, he will soon find himself left alone. A man, sir, should keep his friendship in a constant repair." (Samuel Johnson) Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of
sin.
-- John Von Neuman blah "The best students always are flunking. Every good teacher knows that." (Robert M. Pirsig, Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance) A man's feet should be planted in his country, but his eyes should survey the world.
-- George Santayana News and Media "Every decent man is ashamed of the government he lives under." (Henry Louis Mencken) Let go of your attachment to being right, and suddenly your mind is more open. You're able to
benefit from the unique viewpoints of others, without being crippled by your own judgment.
-- Ralph Mars Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.
-- George Santayana News and Media
In the case of good books, the point is not to see how many of them you can get through, but how
many can get through to you.
-- Mortimer J. Adler Now comes the mystery.
-- Henry Ward Beecher, dying words, March 8, 1887 The gods gave man fire and he invented fire engines. They gave him love and he invented marriage. A good marriage is like a casserole, only those responsible for it really know what goes in it.
-- Anonymous History is the version of past events that people have decided to agree upon.
-- Napoleon Bonaparte News and Media blah "To give anything less than your best is to sacrifice the gift." (Steve Roland Prefontaine) "These are days you'll remember." If you recall nothing else from your graduation ceremony,
remember you heard the New Jersey Governor quote from 10,000 Maniacs.
-- Christine Todd, NJ Governor, Whea Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves.
-- Abraham Lincoln News and Media
Most rock journalism is people who can't write interviewing people who can't talk for people who
can't read.
-- Frank Zappa There is only one nature - the division into science and engineering is a human imposition, not a
natural one. Indeed, the division is a human failure; it reflects our limited capacity to comprehend The price of freedom is eternal vigilance.
-- Thomas Jefferson I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like
toxic waste.
-- David Bissonette If I were to try to read, much less answer, all the attacks made on me, this shop might as well be
closed for any other business.
-- Abraham Lincoln News and Media One cardinal rule of marriage should never be forgotten: "Give little, give seldom, and above all,
give grudgingly." Otherwise, what could have been a proper marriage could become an orgy of
sexual LOVE, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage or by removal of the patient from the
influences under which he incurred the disorder... It is sometimes fatal, but more frequently to the
physician "Dying is the most embarrassing thing that can ever happen to you, because someone's got to take care of all your details." (Andy Warhol, America, 1985) News and Media
Marriage is like a hot bath. Once you get used to it, it's not so hot.
-- Anonymous Truth must necessarily be stranger than fiction, for fiction is the creation of the human mind and
therefore congenial to it.
-- G. K. Chesterton "The one charm about marriage is that it makes a life of deception absolutely necessary for both parties." (Oscar Wilde) A teacher is one who makes himself progressively unnecessary.
-- Thomas Carruthers "I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members." (Groucho Marx) News and Media Inanimate objects are classified scientifically into three categories-- those that don't work, those
that break down, and those that get lost.
-- Russell Baker Vote early and vote often.
- Al Capone Beware you be not swallowed up in books! An ounce of love is worth a pound of knowledge.
-- John Wesley News and Media
