Stoneleigh Methodist Church - Offers mission statement, services, activities, publicity, community groups, premises, links and 'Ask the experts'. Part of the Sutton Surrey circuit.
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I think that I shall never see
A billboard lovely as a tree.
Indeed, unless the billboards fall,
I'll never see a tree at all.
-- Ogden Nash, Song of the Open Road, 1945 Marriage is like a cage--one sees the birds outside desperate to get in and those inside equally
desparate to get out.
-- Di Peatlins "I have Social Disease. I have to go out every night. If I stay home one night I start spreading rumors to my dogs." (Andy Warhol, Andy Warhol's Exposures, 1980) You never see a man walking down the street with a woman who has a little pot belly and a bald
spot.
-- Elayne Boosler "Posterity: you will never know how much it has cost my generation to preserve your freedom. I hope you will make good use of it." (John Quincy Adams) Stoneleigh You are never given a wish without also being given the power to make it come true.
-- Richard Bach Every mother generally hopes that her daughter will snag a better husband than she managed to
do...but she's certain that her boy will never get as great a wife as his father did.
-- Anonymous A conference is a gathering of important people who singly can do nothing, but together can
decide that nothing can be done.
-- Fred Allen Stoneleigh
A liberal is a man too broadminded to take his own side in a quarrel.
-- Robert Frost A man has to live with himself, and he should see to it that he always has good company.
-- Charles Evans Hughes "If all men knew what others say of them, there would not be four friends in the world." (Blaise Pascal) It is because modern education is so seldom inspired by a great hope that it so seldom achieves
great results. The wish to preserve the past rather that the hope of creating the future dominates
the "I don't believe people die. They just go uptown. To Bloomingdales. They just take longer to get back." (Andy Warhol) Stoneleigh Women are the only exploited group in history to have been idealized into powerlessness.
-- Erica Jong "There are no uninteresting things, only uninteresting people." (Gilbert Keith Chesterton) University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.
- Henry Kissinger Stoneleigh
I will try to follow the advice that a university president once gave a prospective commencement
speaker. "Think of yourself as the body at an Irish wake" he said. "They need you in order to have
th Don't be so humble - you are not that great.
- Golda Meir (1898-1978) to a visiting diplomat "A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men." (Roald Dahl) Good communication is as stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard to sleep after.
-- Anne Morrow Lindbergh "The fact that an opinion has been widely held is no evidence whatever that it is not utterly absurd." (Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 1872-1970) Stoneleigh In great matters men show themselves as they wish to be seen; in small matters, as they are.
-- Gamaliel Bradford The most happy marriage I can imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind
woman.
-- S. T. Coleridge The worth of the state, in the long run, is the worth of the individuals composing it.
-- John Stuart Mill Stoneleigh
Fine art and pizza delivery: what we do falls neatly in between.
-- David Letterman When a cat is dropped, it always lands on its feet, and when toast is dropped, it always lands with
the buttered side down. I propose to strap buttered toast to the back of a cat; the 2 will hover,
Chase after the truth like all hell and you'll free yourself, even though you never touch its
coattails.
-- Clarence Darrow Man must evolve for all human conflict a method which rejects revenge, aggression and
retaliation. the foundation of such a method is love.
-- Martin Luther King, Jr. The real test of friendship is: Can you literally do nothing with the other person? Can you enjoy
together those moments of life that are utterly simple? They are the moments people looks back
on at Stoneleigh "One may sometimes tell a lie, but the grimace that accompanies it tells the truth." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
-- Erma Bombeck It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.
-- Mark Twain Stoneleigh
It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks. She's not marrying the best man.
-- Anonymous He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.
- Sir Winston Churchill I guess the only way to stop divorce is to stop marriage.
-- Will Rogers "Drugs have done a lot of good. A lot of good songs have been written. 'Penny Lane' is worth 10 dead kids. 'Dark Side of the Moon?' 100 dead kids. At least that many were conceived by people listening "I want my food dead. Not sick, not dying, dead." (Oscar Wilde) Stoneleigh You can't say civilization isn't advancing: in every war they kill you in a new way.
-- Will Rogers In this world of sin and sorrow there is always something to be thankful for; as for me, I rejoice
that I am not a Republican.
-- H. L. Mencken Good hours, excellent pay, fun place to work, paid training, mean boss. Oh well, four out of five
isn't bad.
-- Help Wanted Ad, PA newspaper, 1994 Stoneleigh
I think there are only three things America will be known for 2,000 years from now when they
study this civilization: the Constitution, jazz music, and baseball.
-- Gerald Early, writer, baseball do These people have served a longer sentence than some people who have committed murder.
-- Jeff Greenfield, news analyst, describing the jury in the OJ Simpson murder trial, 1995 "Truly great friends are hard to find, difficult to leave, and impossible to forget." (G. Randolf) A scar nobly got, or a noble scar, is a good livery of honour; so belike is that.
-- Shakespeare, William "If a million people say a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing." (Anatole France) Stoneleigh 2,400,000 Americans play the accordian - hopefully not at the same time.
-- inside of a Pepsi cap "Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow. Don't walk behind me; I may not lead. Walk beside me and just be my friend." (Albert Camus) Tauzin backs term limits -- But he thinks it's a bad idea.
-- Headline, story in the New Orleans Times-Picayune, Feb 20, 1995 Stoneleigh
Not only is the universe stranger than we imagine, it is stranger than we can imagine.
Sir Arthur Eddington (1882 - 1944) "It is the nature of a man as he grows older, a small bridge in time, to protest against change, particularly change for the better." (John Steinbeck, Travels With Charley) There's nothing wrong with having nothing to say -- unless you insist on saying it.
-- Anonymous "The act of policing is, in order to punish less often, to punish more severely." (Napoleon Bonaparte) "Democracy is a form of government that substitutes election by the incompetent many for appointment by the corrupt few." (George Bernard Shaw) Stoneleigh Under capitalism man exploits man; under socialism the reverse is true.
-- Polish proverb Marital Freedom: The liberty that allows a husband to do exactly that which his wife pleases.
-- Anonymous I'm worried that the universe will soon need replacing. It's not holding a charge.
-- Edward Chilton Stoneleigh
Better watch out that you won't become a television set in your next life.
--Loesje When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are
legislators.
-- P. J. O'Rourke "To educate educators! But the first ones must educate themselves! And for these I write." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Advertising may be described as the science of arresting human intelligence long enough to get
money from it.
-- Stephen Leacock Anyway, no drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we're looking for the
source of our troubles, we shouldn't test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity,
ign Stoneleigh To correct a natural indifference I was placed half-way between misery and the sun. Misery kept
me from believing that all was well under the sun, and the sun taught me that history wasn't
everythin Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when
people laugh.
-- George Bernard Shaw Love is temporary insanity curable by marriage.
-- Ambrose Bierce Stoneleigh
"Courage is found in unlikely places." (John Ronald Reuel Tolkien) A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.
Robert Frost (1874-1963) All courage is a form of constancy. It is always himself that a coward abandons first. After this all
other betrayals come.
-- Cormac McCarthy When yer in a funk, people in love are a royal pain in the patookus.
-- Portnoy, character in "Outland," comic strip by Berkely Breathed Our scientific power has outrun our spiritual power. We have guided missiles and misguided men.
-- Martin Luther King, Jr. Stoneleigh "All grown-ups were once children, though few of them remember it." (Antoine de Saint Exupéry) "Do you know that places only yield up their secrets, their most profound mysteries, to those who are just passing through?" (Salman Rushdie, The Moor's Last Sigh) There are two means of refuge from the misery of life - music and cats.
-- Albert Schweitzer Stoneleigh
The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history...this century's history.... We all lived
in this century. I didn't live in this century.
-- Dan Quayle, then Indiana senator and Republic It is not because it is difficult that we do not dare; it is because we do not dare that things are
difficult.
-- Lucius Anneaus Seneca Repentance is not so much remorse for what we have done as the fear of the consequences.
-- François de La Rouchefoucauld, Maxims, 1665 The limits of my language means the limits of my world.
-- Ludwig Wittgenstein Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain
as marijuana...The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two, but can't
remember what Stoneleigh To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance
- Oscar Wilde You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don't try.
-- Beverly Sills Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.
-- Carol Burnett Stoneleigh
Anyway, no drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we're looking for the
source of our troubles, we shouldn't test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity,
ign By the time (the Leaning Tower of Pisa) was 10% built, everyone knew it would be a total
disaster. But the investment was so big they felt compelled to go on. Since its completion, it cost
a fortune "Children begin by loving their parents. After a time they judge them. Rarely, if ever, do they forgive them." (Oscar Wilde, A Woman of No Importance) Having children makes you no more a parent than having a piano makes you a pianist.
-- Michael Levine, Lessons at the Halfway Point "Guard with jealous attention the public liberty. Suspect every one who approaches that jewel. Unfortunately, nothing will preserve it but downright force. Whenever you give up that force, you are ine Stoneleigh Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they're yours.
- Richard Bach Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you
underneath. At night, the ice weasels come.
-- Matt Groening, Love is Hell Now, now my good man, this is no time for making enemies.
- Voltaire (1694-1778) on his deathbed in response to a priest asking that he renounce Satan. Stoneleigh
