Musical people always want one to be perfectly dumb at the very moment when one is longing to
be perfectly deaf.
-- Oscar Wilde Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-
proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe
is Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you
underneath. At night, the ice weasels come.
-- Matt Groening, Love is Hell "Being born is like being kidnapped. And then sold into slavery." (Andy Warhol) The fate of love is that it always seems too little or too much.
-- Anonymous Recreation and Sports I'm worried that the universe will soon need replacing. It's not holding a charge.
-- Edward Chilton The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation. What is called resignation is confirmed
desperation.
-- Henry David Thoreau, Walden (1854) He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.
- Abraham Lincoln Recreation and Sports
Women are the only exploited group in history to have been idealized into powerlessness.
-- Erica Jong There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.
- Ken Olson, president, chairman and founder of Digital Equipment Corp., 1977 I was a pilot flying an airplane and it just so happened that where I was flying made what I was
doing spying.
-- Francis Gary Power, U-2 reconnaissance pilot held by the Soviets for spying, in an i "In large states public education will always be mediocre, for the same reason that in large kitchens the cooking is usually bad." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out.
-- Decca Recording Company, rejecting the Beatles, 1962 Recreation and Sports The older one grows, the more one likes indecency.
-- Virginia Woolf When I was a kid my favorite relative was Uncle Caveman. After school we'd all go play in his
cave, and every once in a while he would eat one of us. It wasn't until later that I found out that
Uncl "Contrariwise," continued Tweedledee, "if it was so, it might be, and if it were so, it would be; but
as it isn't, it ain't. That's logic!"
-- Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland Recreation and Sports
If the headache would only precede the intoxication, alcoholism would be a virtue.
-- Samuel Butler Happiness, it is said, is seldom found by those who seek it, and never by those who seek it for
themselves.
-- F. Emerson Andrews Many a man in love with a dimple makes the mistake of marrying the whole girl.
-- Stephen Leacock "Sometimes I think it's another sign of the sad necessity of our crowded, lonely lives, an urgent hopeless reaching out to touch something real, a deep hunger for something authentic when everything s Virtue is not left to stand alone. He who practices it will have neighbors.
-- Confucius Recreation and Sports The closer I'm bound in love to you, the closer I am to free.
-- Indigo Girls, song lyric Whatever women do they must do it twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily this
is not difficult.
-- Charlotte Whitton There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage. -- James Holt McGavran Recreation and Sports
Nobody is more dangerous than he who imagines himself pure in heart; for his purity, by
definition, is unassailable.
-- James Baldwin, Nobody Knows My Name, 1961 What do I dislike about death? Must be the hours.
-- Woody Allen Wherever you have an efficient government you have a dictatorship.
-- Harry S. Truman When one find's oneself in a hole of one's own making, it is a good time to examine the quality of
the workmanship.
-- John Renmerde Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country.
-- Marion Barry, Mayor, Washington, D.C. Recreation and Sports "I don't use drugs, my dreams are frightening enough." (M. C. Escher) Women's liberationists spread the word that...the only peaceful family is one in which either the
wife is enslaved or the husband is androgynous.
-- R. Emmett Tyell, The Liberal Crack-Up, 1984 A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.
-- Michel de Montaigne Recreation and Sports
"As a child, I thought I hated everybody, but when I grew up I realized it was just children I didn't like." (Philip Larkin) The only reward of virtue is virtue.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson Victory belongs to the most persevering.
-- Napoleon Bonaparte Ninety percent of the game is half mental.
-- Yogi Berra Never apologize for showing feeling. When you do so you apologize for truth.
-- Benjamin Disraeli Recreation and Sports I have a daughter who goes to SMU. She could've gone to UCLA here in California, but it's one
more letter she'd have to remember.
-- Shecky Greene Truth often suffers more by the heat of its defenders than the arguments of its opposers.
-- William Penn As life is action and passion, it is required of a man that he should share the passion and action
of his time, at the peril of being not to have lived.
-- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr. Recreation and Sports
God help the man who won't marry until he finds a perfect woman, and God help him still more if
he finds her.
-- Benjamin Tillett "When once you have tasted flight you will always walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward: for there you have been and there you will always be." (Henry Van Dyke) Any sufficiently advanced bureaucracy is indistinguishable from molasses.
-- Anon. Good Night, Good night! Parting is such sweet sorrow,
that I shall say good night till it be morrow.
-- Romeo and Juliet, Shakespeare. Act II, Scene II, lines 220-221 If we let people see that kind of thing, there would never again be any war.
-- Pentagon official, on why US military censored graphic footage from the Gulf War Recreation and Sports Our elections are free - it's in the results where eventually we pay.
-- Bill Stern To write a good love letter, you ought to begin without knowing what you mean to say, and to
finish without knowing what you have written.
-- Jean Jacques Rousseau If there is any one proof of a man's incompetence, it is the stagnant mentality of a worker who,
doing some small routine job in a vast undertaking, does not care to look beyond the lever of a
machi Recreation and Sports
If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead, get
married.
-- Katharine Hepburn Faith is believing what you know ain't so.
-- Mark Twain People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid.
- Soren Aabye Kierkegaard Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.
-- John F. Kennedy There are three kinds of death in this world. There's heart death, there's brain death, and there's
being off the network.
-- Guy Almes Recreation and Sports Man is a natural polygamist. He always has one woman leading him by the nose and another
hanging on to his coattails.
-- H. L. Mencken Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he's supposed to be doing at the
moment.
-- Robert Benchley "True friendship is like sound health; the value of it is seldom known until it is lost." (Charles Caleb Colton) Recreation and Sports
If you want anything done well, do it yourself. This is why most people laugh at their own jokes.
-- Bob Edwards The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit.
-- W. Somerset Maugham If you are going to sin, sin against God, not the bureaucracy. God will forgive you but the
bureaucracy won't.
-- Hyman Rickover Hardly a year passes that fails to find a new, oft-times exotic, research method or technique
added to the armamentarium of political inquiry. Anyone who cannot negotiate Chi squares,
assess randomi Learn to laugh at your troubles and you'll never run out of things to laugh at.
-- Lyn Karol Recreation and Sports I am beginning to suspect all elaborate and special systems of education. They seem to me to be
built upon the supposition that every child is a kind of idiot who must be taught to think.
-- Anne S Anything is possible, but only a few things actually happen.
-- Richard Rosen The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money usually costs a
lot less.
-- Brendon Behan Recreation and Sports
I believe that mink are raised for being turned into fur coats and if we didn't wear fur coats those
little animals would never have been born. So is it better not to have been born or to have lived Usenet is like Tetris for people who still remember how to read.
-- Button from the Computer Museum, Boston, MA "No one ever owns his youth or the women he loves." (Pedro Almodóvar, Live Flesh) If God had meant us to vote, He would have given us candidates.
-- Seen on a bumper sticker Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly.
-- Rose Franken Recreation and Sports If you are going to sin, sin against God, not the bureaucracy. God will forgive you but the
bureaucracy won't.
-- Hyman Rickover Good-bye. I am leaving because I am bored.
-- George Saunders - last words He who awaits much can expect little.
-- Gabriel Garcia Marquez Recreation and Sports
I read the book of Job last night - I don't think God comes out well in it.
-- Virginia Woolf "What dies if freedom lives? What lives if freedom dies?" (Lindsay Anderson, British filmmaker, from if.... (1968) The executive exists to make sensible exceptions to general rules.
-- Elting E. Morison A grouch escapes so many little annoyances that it almost pays to be one.
-- Kin Hubbard "We always get bored with those whom we bore." (François VI Duke (duc) de La Rochefoucauld, 1616-80) Recreation and Sports Three o'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do.
- Jean-Paul Sartre There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.
- Frank Zappa He that would have the fruit must climb the tree.
-- Thomas Fuller, M.D. Recreation and Sports
Marriage resembles a pair of shears, so joined that they cannot be separated; often moving in
opposite directions, yet always punishing any one who comes between them.
-- Sydney Smith Love is the answer, but while you're waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good
questions.
-- Woody Allen "This is slavery, not to speak one's thought." (Euripides) Talent does what it can; genius does what it must.
- Edward George Bulwer-Lytton Marriage is an adventure, like going to war.
-- G. K. Chesterton Recreation and Sports Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteeen.
-- Albert Einstein Wherever you have an efficient government you have a dictatorship.
-- Harry S. Truman The older one grows, the more one likes indecency.
-- Virginia Woolf Recreation and Sports
