"The greatest pleasure in life is doing what others say you cannot do." (Anonymous) Govern a family as you would cook a small fish - very gently.
-- Chinese Proverb You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was
60. She's 97 today and we don't know where the hell she is.
-- Ellen DeGeneres We cease loving ourselves if no one loves us.
-- Mme de Staël The first duty of love is to listen.
-- Paul Tillich By County My best friend is the one who brings out the best in me!
-- Henry Ford Democracy encourages the majority to decide things about which the majority is blissfully
ignorant.
--John Simon Advertising may be described as the science of arresting human intelligence long enough to get
money from it.
-- Stephen Leacock By County
In this world of sin and sorrow there is always something to be thankful for; as for me, I rejoice
that I am not a Republican.
-- H. L. Mencken "When even one American--who has done nothing wrong--is forced by fear to shut his mind and close his mouth--then all Americans are in peril." (Harry S. Truman) In all recorded history there has not been one economist who has had to worry about where the
next meal would come from.
-- Peter F. Drucker "Experience is a good teacher, but she sends in terrific bills." (Minna Antrim) I believe in getting into hot water; it keeps you clean.
-- G. K. Chesterton By County "Common sense and education are highly compatible; in fact, neither is worth much without the other." (Donald G. Smith) Losing a wife can be hard. In my case, it was almost impossible. The only thing you take with you when you're gone is what you leave behind.
-- John Allston By County
"Once spirit was God, then it became man, and now it is even becoming mob." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) If we were not all so interested in ourselves, life would be so uninteresting that none of us would
be able to endure it.
-- Schopenhauer Our marriage would have worked if we hadn't lived together.
-- Joan Thompson Peculiar travel suggestions are dancing lessons from God.
-- Kurt Vonnegut, Jr., Cat's Cradle "Learn from the mistakes of others--you can never live long enough to make them all yourself." (John Luther) By County "The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt." (Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 1872-1970) Love may be a dream but marriage is a nightmare.
-- Joan Collins Everything that can be invented has been invented.
- Charles H. Duell, Commissioner, U.S. Office of Patents, 1899 By County
This search for what you want is like tracking something that doesn't want to be tracked. It takes
time to get a dance right, to create something memorable.
-- Fred Astaire Now join your hands, and with your hands your hearts.
-- William Shakespeare, King Henry the Sixth "Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is like expecting a bull not to attack you because you are a vegetarian." (Dennis Wholey) >From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some
day I intend reading it.
-- Groucho Marx Having children makes you no more a parent than having a piano makes you a pianist.
-- Michael Levine, Lessons at the Halfway Point By County "To be great is to be misunderstood." (Ralph Waldo Emerson) "Not by wrath does one kill, but by laughter." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Mathematicians are like Frenchmen: whatever you say to them they translate into their own
language and forthwith it is something entirely different.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe By County
"You make 'em, I amuse 'em." (Theodor Seuss Geisel, a.k.a. Dr. Seuss, 1904-1991, on children) "The overman ... Who has organized the chaos of his passions, given style to his character, and become creative. Aware of life's terrors, he affirms life without resentment." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietz Radio news is bearable. This is due to the fact that while the news is being broadcast the disc
jockey is not allowed to talk.
-- Fran Lebowitz "Murderers have been known to find that young girls give them more trouble than anybody else." (Jean Cocteau, Les Enfants Terribles) No man should marry until he has studied anatomy and dissected at least one woman. -- Honore de Balzac By County "Man is the only animal that can remain on friendly terms with the victims he intends to eat until he eats them." (Samuel Butler) Luck is the residue of design.
- Branch Rickey - former owner of the Brooklyn Dodger Baseball Team Despite the high cost of living it remains a popular item.
-- Anonymous By County
The best time to hold your tongue is the time you feel you must say something or bust.
-- Josh Billings Defeat never comes to any man until he admits it.
-- Josephus Daniels Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater.
-- Gail Godwin If all these sweet young things were laid end to end, I wouldn't be the slightest bit surprised.
-- Dorothy Parker "'Contrariwise,' continued Tweedledee, 'if it was so, it might be, and if it were so, it would be; but as it isn't, it ain't. That's logic!'" (Lewis Carroll, Through the Looking Glass) By County "May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house." (George Carlin) "The fact that an opinion has been widely held is no evidence whatever that it is not utterly absurd." (Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 1872-1970) "The face is the soul of the body." (Ludwig Wittgenstein) By County
"A woman may very well form a friendship with a man, but for this to endure, it must be assisted by a little physical antipathy." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Be willing to make decisions. That's the most important quality in a good leader. Don't fall victim
to what I call the 'ready-aim-aim-aim-aim syndrome.' You must be willing to fire.
-- Gen. George In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: It goes on.
-- Robert Frost Now join your hands, and with your hands your hearts.
-- William Shakespeare, King Henry the Sixth blah "If we did all the things we are capable of, we would literally astound ourselves." (Thomas Alva Edison) By County In the halls of justice, the only justice is in the halls.
-- Lenny Bruce Love is temporary insanity curable by marriage.
-- Ambrose Bierce Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore, marriage is an institution for the blind. By County
May you be too good for the world and not good enough for your wife. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience. By the time (the Leaning Tower of Pisa) was 10% built, everyone knew it would be a total
disaster. But the investment was so big they felt compelled to go on. Since its completion, it cost
a fortune "I love Los Angeles. I love Hollywood. They're beautiful. Everybody's plastic, but I love plastic. I want to be plastic." (Andy Warhol, Holy Terror: Andy Warhol Close Up) "The last Christian died on the cross." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) By County "Self confidence is the first requisite to great undertakings." (Samuel Johnson) Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of
humor is just common sense, dancing.
-- Clive James The last good thing written in C++ was the Pachelbel Canon.
-- Jerry Olson By County
Wisdom is knowing what to do next; virtue is doing it.
-- David Starr Jordan "I have realized that the past and future are real illusions, that they exist in the present, which is what there is and all there is." (Alan Watts) "It seems to me that almost all our sadnesses are moments of tension, which we feel as paralysis because we no longer hear our astonished emotions living." (Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poe The remarkable thing about television is that it permits several million people to laugh at the same
joke and still feel lonely.
-- T. S. Eliot Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does.
-- Groucho Marx By County They think they can make fuel from horse manure.... Now, I don't know if your car will be able to
get 30 miles to the gallon, but it's sure gonna put a stop to siphoning.
-- Billie Holliday Now join your hands, and with your hands your hearts.
-- William Shakespeare, King Henry the Sixth I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked
me in the cellar.
-- Anonymous By County
In view of all the deadly computer viruses that have been spreading lately, Weekend Update
would like to remind you: when you link up to another computer, you're linking up to every
computer that th If you can't feed a hundred people, then feed just one.
-- Mother Teresa "Children begin by loving their parents. After a time they judge them. Rarely, if ever, do they forgive them." (Oscar Wilde, A Woman of No Importance) In the past decade or so, the women's magazines have taken to running home-handyperson
articles suggesting that women can learn to fix things just as well as men. These articles are
apparently based The full use of your powers along lines of excellence.
- definition of happiness by John F. Kennedy By County I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to.
-- Elvis Presley Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
-- Erma Bombeck "A critic is a man who knows the way but can't drive the car." (Kenneth Tynan) By County
"The depth and strength of a human character are defined by its moral reserves. People reveal themselves completely only when they are thrown out of the customary conditions of their life, for only th "There are some enterprises in which a careful disorderliness is the true method." (Herman Melville, Moby Dick) If I have not seen as far as others, it is because giants were standing on my shoulders.
-- Hal Abelson "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself." (Franklin Delano Roosevelt, 1882 - 1945, 32nd U.S. President) "Dying is the most embarrassing thing that can ever happen to you, because someone's got to take care of all your details." (Andy Warhol, America, 1985) By County Man is a rational animal who always loses his temper when he is called upon to act in
accordance with the dictates of reason.
-- Oscar Wilde Marriage is a great institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
-- Marx Groucho, the film "Animal Crackers" The authority of those who teach is often an obstacle to those who want to learn.
-- Cicero By County
