I have an existential map; it has 'you are here' written all over it.
- Steven Wright There is no realizable power that man cannot, in time, fashion the tools to attain, nor any power
so secure that the naked ape will not abuse it. So it is written in the genetic cards - only physics Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside a dog, it's too dark to read.
-- Groucho Marx "I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury." (Groucho Marx) You can't build a reputation on what you are going to do.
-- Henry Ford Transport "Well begun is half done." (Aristotle) "Every decent man is ashamed of the government he lives under." (Henry Louis Mencken) "Like as the waves make towards the pebbl'd shore, so do our minutes, hasten to their end." (William Shakespeare) Transport
Mathematicians are like Frenchmen: whatever you say to them they translate into their own
language and forthwith it is something entirely different.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe A man in the house is worth two in the street.
-- Mae West "If all men knew what others say of them, there would not be four friends in the world." (Blaise Pascal) You can not apply mathematics as long as words still becloud reality.
-- Hermann Weyl If someone had told me I would be Pope one day, I would have studied harder.
-- Pope John Paul I Transport "Try not to have a good time ... This is supposed to be educational." (Charles Schultz) I heard someone tried the monkeys-on-typewriters bit trying for the plays of W. Shakespeare, but
all they got was the collected works of Francis Bacon.
- Bill Hirst "Eschew the ordinary, disdain the commonplace. If you have a single-minded need for something, let it be the unusual, the esoteric, the bizarre, the unexpected..." (Chuck Jones) Transport
Diplomacy is the art of saying "Nice doggie" until you can find a rock.
-- Wynn Catlin, also attributed to Will Rogers With this ring I thee wed, with my body I thee worship, and with all my worldly good I thee endow.
-- Wedding Vow, Book of Common Prayer "A man of genius makes no mistakes; his errors are volitional and are the portals of discovery." (James Joyce) "It wasn't until I started reading and found books they wouldn't let us read in school that I discovered you could be insane and happy and have a good life without being like everybody else." (John W A multiple personality is in a certain sense normal.
-- George H. Mead Transport "The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time." (Abraham Lincoln, 1809-65) Every calling is great when greatly pursued.
-- Oliver Wendell Holmes All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream.
-- Edgar Allan Poe Transport
It is best to learn as we go, not go as we have learned.
-- Leslie Jeanne Sahler A man must marry only a very pretty woman in case he should ever want some other man to take her off his hands. -- Guitry By working faithfully eight hours a day, you might eventually get to be a boss and work twelve
hours a day.
-- ROBERT FROST Whenever I dwell for any length of time on my own shortcomings, they gradually begin to seem
mild harmless, rather engaging little things, not at all like the staring defects in other people's
chara Men. You can't live with them. You don't have to.
-- Seen on a t-shirt Transport "In the future everyone will be famous for fifteen minutes." (Andy Warhol) Creativity is piercing the mundane to find the marvelous.
-- Bill Moyers Beginning in February 1976 your assistance benefits will be discontinued ... Reason: it has been
reported to our office that you expired on January 1, 1976.
-- excerpt from a letter, Illinois Depart Transport
Republican boys date Democratic girls. They plan to marry Republican girls, but feel they're entitled to a little fun first. Ideas are like rabbits. You get a couple, learn how to handle them, and pretty soon you have a
dozen.
-- John Steinbeck Humanity has advanced, when it has advanced, not because it has been sober, responsible, and
cautious, but because it has been playful, rebellious, and immature.
-- Tom Robbins Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain
as marijuana...The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two, but can't
remember what Dew knot trussed yore spell chequer two fined awl yore mistakes.
-- Brendan Hills Transport "As long as people will accept crap, it will be financially profitable to dispense it." (Dick Cavett) You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax--tomorrow you'll be afraid to
cough.
-- Pearl Williams Paradoxically though it may seem, it is none the less true that life imitates art far more than art
imitates life.
-- Oscar Wilde Transport
"The evil that men do lives after them; The good is oft interred with their bones." (William Shakespeare, Julius Cæsar. Act iii. Sc. 2.) I don't know why I did it, I don't know why I enjoyed it, and I don't know why I'll do it again.
-- Bart Simpson, young character from The Simpsons, U.S. animated television show A straight line is the shortest in morals as in mathematics.
-- Maria Edgeworth The imaginary friends I had as a kid dropped me because their friends thought I didn't exist.
-- Aaron Machado I don't want to achieve immortality through my work... I want to achieve it by not dying!
-- Woody Allen Transport "A girl can wait for the right man to come along, but in the meantime that still doesn't mean she can't have a wonderful time with all the wrong ones." (Cher) "Furious activity is no substitute for understanding." (H. H. Williams) "Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future." (Paul Boese) Transport
Books had instant replay long before televised sports.
-- Bern Williams Before I married, I had three theories about raising children and no children. Now, I have three
children and no theories.
-- John Wilmot, Earl of Rochester All marriages are happy--it's the living together afterward that causes all the problems. Nothing that was worthy in the past departs; no truth or goodness realized by man ever dies, or
can die.
-- Thomas Carlyle "There cannot be a God because, if there were one, I would not believe that I was not He." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Transport Men have become the tools of their tools.
- Henry David Thoreau ( "Education must have an end in view, for it is not an end in itself." (Sybil Marshall) "Even a stopped clock is right twice a day." (Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach) Transport
In matrimony, to hesitate is sometimes to be saved.
-- Samuel Butler Viewed from the summit of reason, all life looks like a malignant disease and the world like a
madhouse.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe "Let no one be discouraged by the belief there is nothing one person can do against the enormous array of the world's ills, misery, ignorance, and violence. Few will have the greatness to bend history A White House well filled, a little peanut field well tilled, and a wife who will go to the Bronx are
great riches.
-- Poor Jimmy's Almanac There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.
- Ken Olson, president, chairman and founder of Digital Equipment Corp., 1977 Transport Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when
people laugh.
-- George Bernard Shaw If something is boring after two minutes, try it for four. If still boring, then eight. Then sixteen. Then thirty-two. Eventually one discovers that it is not boring at all." (John Cage) I still believe in liberalism today as much as I ever did, but, oh, there was a happy time when I
believed in liberals...
-- G. K. Chesterton Transport
A grouch escapes so many little annoyances that it almost pays to be one.
-- Kin Hubbard Sir Francis Drake circumsized the world with a 100-foot clipper.
-- Unknown history student There are no days in life so memorable as those which vibrated to some stroke of the
imagination.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.
- Thomas Watson, Chairman of IBM, 1943 Before God we are all equally wise - and equally foolish.
-- Albert Einstein Transport My darling wife was always glum. I drowned her in a cask of rum, And so made sure that she would stay, In better spirits night and day. I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.
-- Walt Disney A university is what a college becomes when the faculty loses interest in students.
-- John Ciardi Transport
"Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution yet." (Mae West) I think one of the reasons I'm popular again is because I'm wearing a tie. You have to be different.
-- Tony Bennett, 1995 What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death.
-- Dave Barry Teach a parrot the terms "supply and demand" and you've got an economist.
-- Thomas Carlyle He had occasional flashes of silence that made his conversation perfectly delightful.
-- Sydney Smith, referring to Macaulay Transport My loathings are simple: stupidity, oppression, crime, cruelty, soft music.
-- Vladimir Nabokov "A thing of beauty is a joy forever." (John Keats) The wise see knowledge and action as one; they see truly.
-- Bhagava Gita Transport
And life is what we make it. Always has been, always will be.
-- Grandma Moses Democracy is a government where you can say what you think even if you don't think.
-- Anon. Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
-- H. L. Mencken Marry not a tennis player. For love means nothing to them. These people have served a longer sentence than some people who have committed murder.
-- Jeff Greenfield, news analyst, describing the jury in the OJ Simpson murder trial, 1995 Transport The more we do, the more we can do; the more busy we are the more leisure we have.
-- William Hazlitt A liberal is a man too broadminded to take his own side in a quarrel.
-- Robert Frost People, like nails, lose their effectiveness when they lose direction and begin to bend.
-- Walter Savage Landor Transport
