My darling wife was always glum. I drowned her in a cask of rum, And so made sure that she would stay, In better spirits night and day. Many a man has finally succeeded only because he has failed after repeated efforts. If he had
never met defeat he would never have known any great victory.
-- Orison Swett Marden A weed is no more than a flower in disguise.
-- James Lowell History will be kind to me for I intend to write it.
-- Winston Churchill I never hated a man enough to give him his diamonds back.
-- Zsa Zsa Gabor Whitburn The great advantage of being in a rut is that when one is in a rut, one knows exactly where one
is.
-- Arnold Bennett Confidence is the feeling you have before you understand the situation.
--Anon. What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream? Or what's worse, what if only that fat
guy in the third row exists?
-- Woody Allen Whitburn
It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both.
-- Niccolo Machiavelli, The Prince The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon, but that we wait so long to begin it.
-- Anonymous I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body.
-- Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward "Kill a man, and you are a murderer. Kill millions of men, and you are a conquerer. Kill everyone, and you are a god." (Jean Rostand) The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and
science.
-- Albert Einstein Whitburn There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.
- Frank Zappa Honorable, adj. Afflicted with an impediment in one's reach. In legislative bodies, it is customary
to mention all members as honorable; as, ``the honorable gentleman is a scurvy cur.'
-- Bierce, A Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you.
- Carl Gustav Jung Whitburn
He would make a lovely corpse.
- Charles Dickens Nothing can so alienate a voter from the political system as backing a winning candidate.
-- Mark B. Cohen It is always right that a man should be able to render a reason for the faith that is within him.
-- Sydney Smith You've no idea of what a poor opinion I have of myself, and how little I deserve it.
-- W.S. Gilbert It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare; it is because we do not dare that they are
difficult.
-- Seneca Whitburn Eternal boyhood is the dream of a depressing percentage of American males, and the locker
room is the temple where they worship arrested development.
-- Russell Baker "The act of policing is, in order to punish less often, to punish more severely." (Napoleon Bonaparte) Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than
you is a maniac.
-- George Carlin Whitburn
A narcissist is someone better-looking than you are.
-- Gore Vidal "Some people must go to extremes to get the world in balance for themselves. Some can't bear bright lights, so wherever they go they search for the dark; they turn the lights down, anything to sustain Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want.
-- Don Stanford Why don't you write books people can read?
-- Nora Joyce, to her husband James There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of
bread.
- Mahatma Gandhi Whitburn Everything that is really great and inspiring is created by the individual who can labour in
freedom.
-- Albert Einstein If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.
- Carl Sagan I married beneath me. All women do.
-- Lady Nancy Astor, attributed Whitburn
Love is much nicer to be in than an automobile accident, a tight girdle, a higher tax bracket, or a
holding pattern over Philadelphia.
-- Judith Viorst The wit of a graduate student is like champagne. Canadian champagne.
-- Robertson Davies My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a
philosopher.
- Socrates Democracy is a device that insures we shall be governed no better than we deserve.
-- George Bernard Shaw It's no credit to anyone to work to hard.
-- Ed Howe Whitburn All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it
is accepted as being self-evident.
- Arthur Schopenhauer Heav'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn'd, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn'd.
-- William Congreve I've sometimes thought of marrying, and then I've thought again.
-- Noel Coward Whitburn
Hey, you can't fight in here! This is the war room!
-- Dr. Strangelove Advertising may be described as the science of arresting human intelligence long enough to get
money from it.
-- Stephen Leacock Not to anticipate is already to moan.
-- Leonardo da Vinci "Contrariwise," continued Tweedledee, "if it was so, it might be, and if it were so, it would be; but
as it isn't, it ain't. That's logic!"
-- Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland Do not assume that she who seeks to comfort you now, lives untroubled among the simple and
quiet words that sometimes do you good. Her life may also have much sadness and difficulty, that
remains fa Whitburn Better to have loved a short man than never to have loved a tall.
-- David Chambless To take what there "is", and use it, without waiting forever in vain for the preconceived - to dig
deep into the actual and get something out of that - this doubtless is the right way to live.
-- H "Do you know that places only yield up their secrets, their most profound mysteries, to those who are just passing through?" (Salman Rushdie, The Moor's Last Sigh) Whitburn
Love cures people, both the ones who give it and the ones who receive it.
-- Dr. Karl Menninger Education is an admirable thing, but nothing that is worth knowing can be taught.
-- Oscar Wilde "That government is best which governs the least, because its people discipline themselves." (Thomas Jefferson) "Let no one be discouraged by the belief there is nothing one person can do against the enormous array of the world's ills, misery, ignorance, and violence. Few will have the greatness to bend history Our schools have been scientifically designed to prevent over-education from happening. [...] The
average American (should be) content with their humble role in life, because they're not tempted
to Whitburn Never try to teach a pig to sing. It's a waste of your time and annoys the pig.
-- Anon. No woman marries for money; they are all clever enough, before marrying a millionaire, to fall in
love with him first.
-- Cesare Pavese "I either want less corruption, or more chance to participate in it." (Ashleigh Brilliant) Whitburn
Examinations are formidable even to the best prepared, for the greatest fool may ask more than
the wisest man can answer.
-- Charles Caleb Colton The grand aim of all science is to cover the greatest number of empirical facts by logical
deduction from the smallest number of hypotheses or axioms.
-- Albert Einstein It was a day like this Marco Polo left for China. What are your plans for today?
--Loesje Those who do not want to imitate anything, produce nothing.
-- Salvador Dali Food, one assumes, provides nourishment; but Americans eat it fully aware that small amounts of
poison have been added to improve its appearance and delay its putrefaction.
-- John Cage Whitburn Don't look back -- something might be gaining on you.
-- Satchel Paige "I'm the artist formally known as Beck. I have a genius wig. When I put that wig on, then the true genius emerges. I don't have enough hair to be a genius. I think you have to have hair going everywhe Skill without imagination is craftsmanship and gives us many useful objects such as wickerwork
picnic baskets. Imagination without skill gives us modern art.
-- Tom Stoppard Whitburn
"How can we know the dancer from the dance?" (William Butler Yeats) The difference between 'involvement' and 'commitment' is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the
chicken was 'involved' - the pig was 'committed'.
- unknown All marriages are happy. It's living together afterwards that is difficult.
-- Anonymous You'd be surprised how much it costs to look this cheap.
-- Dolly Parton A government is the only known vessel that leaks from the top.
-- James Reston Whitburn I respect faith, but doubt is what gives you an education.
-- Wilson Mizner Go on, get out. Last words are for fools who haven't said enough.
-- Karl Marx, dying words to his housekeeper "In all affairs it's a healthy thing now and then to hang a question mark on the things you have long taken for granted." (Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 1872-1970) Whitburn
I have been attacked by Rush Limbaugh on the air, an experience somewhat akin to being
gummed by a newt. It doesn't actually hurt, but it leaves you with slimy stuff on your ankle.
-- Molly Ivins Love is a gross exaggeration of the difference between one person and everybody else.
-- George Bernard Shaw When you see what some girls marry, you realize how they must hate to work for a living.
-- Helen Rowland It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.
-- Mark Twain Oregon Democratic Senate candidate Tom Bruggere, in describing his support for
comprehensive health care during a candidates' forum, said he supported "erection-to-
resurrection" coverage. He later a Whitburn We do not have censorship. What we have is a limitation on what newspapers can report.
-- Louis Nel, Deputy Minister of Information, South Africa Men have a much better time of it than women; for one thing, they marry later; for another thing, they die earlier. --H.L. Mencken "Have confidence that if you have done a little thing well, you can do a bigger thing well, too." (David Malcolm Storey) Whitburn
Author: A fool, who, not content with having bored those who have lived with him, insists on
tormenting the generations to come.
-- Montesquieu It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not.
-- Andre Gide "Man was born free and everywhere he is in chains." (Jean-Jacques Rousseau, French philosopher, The Social Contract) "I want my food dead. Not sick, not dying, dead." (Oscar Wilde) "If I work toward an end, meantime I am confined to a process. The rainbow is more beautiful than the pot at the end of it, because the rainbow is now. And the pot never turns out to be quite what I e Whitburn All you need is love.
-- The Beatles, song title Twenty years fron now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones
you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in
your Nuns: Women who marry God. If they divorce Him, do they get half the universe? Whitburn
