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Television: A medium. So called because it is neither rare nor well done.
-- Ernie Kovacs "My daughter has never forgiven me. for what, I don't know, because for years, she won't speak to me. She blackens my name in the press and makes me think abortion is an excellent idea." (Klaus Kinsk We seek the comfort of another. Someone to share and share the life we choose. Someone to
help us through the neverending attempt to understand ourselves. And in the end, someone to
comfort us along A Sunday school is a prison in which children do penance for the evil conscience of their parents.
-- H. L. Mencken No man should marry until he has studied anatomy and dissected at least one woman. -- Honore de Balzac Leamington Spa "A wise man among the ignorant is as a beautiful girl in the company of blind men." (Saadi) It is with true love as it is with ghosts; everyone talks about it, but few have seen it.
-- François de La Rouchefoucauld Hell is paved with good samaritans.
-- William M. Holden Leamington Spa
In the blithe days of honeymoon,
With Kate's allurements smitten,
I lov'd her late, I lov'd her soon,
And call'd her dearest kitten.
But now my kitten's grown a cat,
And cross like other wives.
Some men are born with cold feet; some acquire cold feet; and some have cold feet thrust upon
them.
-- Anonymous If there is any one proof of a man's incompetence, it is the stagnant mentality of a worker who,
doing some small routine job in a vast undertaking, does not care to look beyond the lever of a
machi Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want.
-- Don Stanford Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century.
- Lewis Perelman Leamington Spa Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.
-- Groucho Marx "No man is clever enough to know all the evil he does." (François VI Duke (duc) de La Rochefoucauld, 1616-80) No other success can compensate for failure in the home.
-- David O. McKay, Encyclopedia of Mormonism, Advice to parents at General Conference of he
LDS Church, April, 1964 Leamington Spa
It doesn't much signify whom one marries, for one is sure to find out next morning it was
someone else.
-- Rogers The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his.
- General George Patton "One often contradicts an opinion when what is uncongenial is really the tone in which it was conveyed." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) "A critic is a man who knows the way but can't drive the car." (Kenneth Tynan) The planting of trees is the least self-centered of all that we can do. It is a purer act of faith than
the procreation of children.
-- Thornton Wilder Leamington Spa Never be possessive. If a female friend lets on that she is going out with another man, be kind
and understanding. If she says she would like to go out with the Dallas Cowboys, including the
coachin I'd wipe the machines off the face of the earth again, and end the industrial epoch absolutely, like
a black mistake.
-- D. H. Lawrence The health of the people is really the foundation upon which all their happiness and all their
powers as a State depend.
-- Benjamin Disraeli Leamington Spa
It ain't what we don't know that gives us trouble, it's what we know that ain't so.
-- Will Rogers He who dies a thousand deaths meets the final hour with the calmness of one who approaches a
well remembered door.
-- Heywood Brown The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds; and the pessimist fears this
is true.
-- James Branch Cabell, The Silver Stallion May your wife be a witch who takes after her mother, and may you all live together in a one-room house. "God is Man's stupidest idea." (Marcel Duchamp, French Dadaist) Leamington Spa Lawyers are... operators of the toll bridge which anyone in search of justice must pass.
-- Jane Bryant Quinn Democracy substitutes election by the incompetent many for the appointment by the corrupt few.
-- George Bernard Shaw "As a child, I thought I hated everybody, but when I grew up I realized it was just children I didn't like." (Philip Larkin) Leamington Spa
You are educated when you have the ability to listen to almost anything without losing your
temper or self-confidence.
-- Robert Frost Work expands to fill the time available.
-- PARKINSON'S LAW If the headache would only precede the intoxication, alcoholism would be a virtue.
-- Samuel Butler Marriage is bliss. Ignorance is bliss. Ergo... "May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house." (George Carlin) Leamington Spa My initial response was to sue her for defamation of character, but then I realized that I had no
character.
-- Charles Barkley, on hearing Tonya Harding proclaim herself "the Charles Barkley of fig Infatuation is when you think that he's as sexy as Robert Redford, as smart as Henry Kissinger,
as noble as Ralph Nader, as funny as Woody Allen, and as athletic as Jimmy Conners. Love is
when you r There are those who look at things the way they are, and ask why... I dream of things that never
were, and ask why not?
-- Robert Francis Kennedy Leamington Spa
A university is what a college becomes when the faculty loses interest in students.
-- John Ciardi When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are
legislators.
-- P. J. O'Rourke I don't know which is more discouraging, literature or chickens.
-- E. B. White Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
-- Seen on a bumper sticker It is best to learn as we go, not go as we have learned.
-- Leslie Jeanne Sahler Leamington Spa Politics is not the art of the possible. It consists in choosing between the disastrous and the
unpalatable.
-- John Kenneth Galbraith Whatever you are from nature, keep to it; never desert your own line of talent. Be what nature
intended you for, and you will succeed; be anything else, and you will be ten thousands times
worse tha Nobody is more dangerous than he who imagines himself pure in heart; for his purity, by
definition, is unassailable.
-- James Baldwin, Nobody Knows My Name, 1961 Leamington Spa
Whining is not only graceless, but can be dangerous. It can alert a brute that a victim is in the
neighborhood.
-- Maya Angelou If you were plowing a field, which would you rather use? Two strong oxen or 1024 chickens?
- Seymour Cray (1925-1996), father of supercomputing "There is nothing more fearful than ignorance in action." (Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, 1749-1832, Criticisms, Reflections and Maxims) When a cat is dropped, it always lands on its feet, and when toast is dropped, it always lands with
the buttered side down. I propose to strap buttered toast to the back of a cat; the 2 will hover,
Love is only the game that is not called on account of darkness.
-- M. Hirschfield Leamington Spa When a friend is in trouble, don't annoy him by asking if there is anything you can do. Think up
something appropriate and do it.
-- E. W. Howe I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body.
-- Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward The heart has its reasons of which reason knows nothing.
-- Blaise Pascal, Pensées, trans. A.J. Krailsheimer Leamington Spa
Value your words. Each one may be the last.
-- Stanislaw J. Lec "A conservative is a man who sits and thinks, mostly sits." (Woodrow Wilson, 28th US president, 1856-1924) Life is ours to be spent, not to be saved.
-- D.H. Lawrence My wife has a split personality, and I hate both of them. "We live in an age when pizza gets to your home before the police." (Jeff Marder) Leamington Spa The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds the most discoveries, is not
"Eureka!", but "That's funny..."
-- Isaac Asimov Marriage is more than four bare legs in a bed.
-- Hoshang N. Akhtar I will try to follow the advice that a university president once gave a prospective commencement
speaker. "Think of yourself as the body at an Irish wake" he said. "They need you in order to have
th Leamington Spa
The remarkable thing about television is that it permits several million people to laugh at the same
joke and still feel lonely.
-- T. S. Eliot Marriage: A ceremony in which rings are put on the finger of the lady and through the nose of the
gentleman.
-- Herbert Spencer Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.
- Napoleon Bonaparte Of course there's a lot of knowledge in universities: the freshmen bring a little in; the seniors don't
take much away, so knowledge sort of accumulates...
-- Anonymous "Conform and be dull." (J. Frank Doble) Leamington Spa It is not enough to succeed. Others must fail.
-- Gore Vidal Great innovations should not be forced on slender majorities.
-- Thomas Jefferson "What sculpture is to a block of marble, education is to a human soul." (Joseph Addison) Leamington Spa
Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure.
-- Oliver Herford You are never given a wish without also being given the power to make it come true.
-- Richard Bach Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.
-- Groucho Marx You have to kiss a lot of toads before you find a handsome prince.
-- American Proverb I read the book of Job last night - I don't think God comes out well in it.
-- Virginia Woolf Leamington Spa Organic chemistry is the chemistry of carbon compounds. Biochemistry is the study of carbon
compounds that crawl.
-- Mike Adams Such is life.
-- Ned Kelly, Last words, before being hung at Old Melbourne Gaol The great thing in this world is not so much where we stand as in what direction we are going.
-- Oliver Wendell Holmes Leamington Spa
Love makes the time pass. Time makes love pass.
-- French Proverb For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-
knowing.
- Henry Louis Mencken Whenever you eliminate the inedible, whatever remains, however unpalatable, must be food.
-- Anonymous Let the refining and improving of your own life keep you so busy that you have little time to
criticize others.
-- H. Jackson Brown "There is no such thing as a person that nothing has happened to, and each person's story is as different as his fingertips." (Elsa Lanchester) Leamington Spa "I learned more from the one restaurant that didn't work than from all the ones that were successes." (Wolfgang Puck, restauranteur) I would rather live and love where death is king than have eternal life where love is not.
-- Robert G. Ingersoll What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson Leamington Spa
