Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they're yours.
- Richard Bach The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it's just sort of a tired feeling.
-- Paula Poundstone the social sciences were for all those who had not yet decided what to do with their lives, and for
all those whose premature frustrations led them into the sterile alleys of confrontation.
-- Peter Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that
can be shot when it breaks down.
-- Russell Baker I like nonsense -- it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living. It's a way
of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope...and that enables you to laugh at all Weather I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain
and bought jewelry.
-- Rita Rudner Creativity is allowing oneself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.
-- Scott Adams, The Dilbert Principle Jealousy is the only vice that gives no pleasure.
-- Anonymous Weather
In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.
- Martin Luther King Jr. Having children makes you no more a parent than having a piano makes you a pianist.
-- Michael Levine, Lessons at the Halfway Point I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can
write better.
- A. J. Liebling They will say you are on the wrong road, if it is your own.
-- Antonio Porchi "There is nothing more fearful than ignorance in action." (Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, 1749-1832, Criticisms, Reflections and Maxims) Weather If you can't sleep, then get up and do something instead of lying there and worrying. It's the worry
that gets you, not the loss of sleep.
-- Dale Carnegie Let him who would enjoy a good future waste none of his present.
-- Roger Babson For of all sad words of tongue or pen,
The saddest are these: "It might have been!"
-- John Greenleaf Whittier Weather
There is a time when the operation of the machine becomes so odious, makes you so sick at
heart, you can't take part. And you've got to put your body upon the gears and upon the wheels,
upon the lev Before you put on a frown, make absolutely sure there are no smiles available.
-- Jim Beggs Advertising may be described as the science of arresting human intelligence long enough to get
money from it.
-- Stephen Leacock They're almost inseparable. Sometimes it takes ten people to separate them.
-- Anonymous Absence diminishes small loves and increases great ones, as the wind blows out the candle and
blows up the bonfire.
-- François de La Rouchefoucauld Weather Virtue is not left to stand alone. He who practices it will have neighbors.
-- Confucius Where there is marriage without love, there will be love without marriage.
-- Benjamin Franklin That is the best -- to laugh with someone because you think the same things are funny.
-- Gloria Vanderbilt Weather
When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives mean the most to us, we often find
that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our
pain I have found the paradox that if I love until it hurts, then there is no hurt, but only more love.
-- Mother Teresa Love may be a dream but marriage is a nightmare.
-- Joan Collins If law school is so hard to get through... how come there are so many lawyers?
-- Calvin Trillin "It is my ambition to say in ten sentences what other men say in whole books--what other men do not say in whole books." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche, Twilight of the Idols) Weather "Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful committed citizens can change the world, indeed it is the only thing that ever has." (Margaret Mead, 1901-78) "Experience is a good teacher, but she sends in terrific bills." (Minna Antrim) When you have to kill a man, it costs nothing to be polite.
- Sir Winston Churchill Weather
If you can't annoy somebody, there's little point in writing.
-- Kingsley Amis The first duty of love is to listen.
-- Paul Tillich A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you're in deep water.
-- Sidney Goff All virtue is summed up in dealing justly.
-- Aristotle The only weapon that becomes sharper with constant use is the tongue.
-- Anonymous Weather What we anticipate seldom occurs: but what we least expect generally happens.
-- Benjamin Disraeli This search for what you want is like tracking something that doesn't want to be tracked. It takes
time to get a dance right, to create something memorable.
-- Fred Astaire The only weapon that becomes sharper with constant use is the tongue.
-- Anonymous Weather
That government is best which governs least.
-- Henry David Thoreau, Civil Disobedience, 1849 Why yes -- a bulletproof vest.
-- James Rodges, murderer, on his final request before the firing squad Never express yourself more clearly than you are able to think.
-- Niels Bohr If one advances confidently in the direction of one's dreams, and endeavours to live the life which
one has imagined, one will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.
-- Henry David Thoreau "Self-confidence is the first requisite for achieving great things." (Samuel Johnson) Weather "The greatest pleasure in life is doing what others say you cannot do." (Anonymous) The wit of a graduate student is like champagne. Canadian champagne.
-- Robertson Davies "The road of excess leads to the palace of wisdom." (William Blake) Weather
My darling wife was always glum. I drowned her in a cask of rum, And so made sure that she would stay, In better spirits night and day. Whenever a husband and wife begin to discuss their marriage, they are giving evidence at an
inquest.
-- H. L. Mencken Let him who would enjoy a good future waste none of his present.
-- Roger Babson "Do not go gentle into that good night. Old age should burn and rave at close of day. Rage, rage against the dying of the light." (Dylan Thomas) All women are born evil. Some just realize their potential later in life than others.
-- Chad A. Gamble, Escape, short story Weather Saying that men talk about baseball in order to avoid talking about their feelings is the same as
saying that women talk about their feelings in order to avoid talking about baseball.
-- Deborah Tan "God is a gentleman. He prefers blondes." (Joe Orton, Loot) "Liberty means responsibility. That is why most men dread it." (George Bernard Shaw) Weather
We're our own dragons as well as our own heroes, and we have to rescue ourselves from
ourselves.
-- Tom Robbins I am ready at any time. Do not keep me waiting.
-- John Brown - last words We always believe our first love is our last, and our last love our first.
-- Anonymous And life is what we make it. Always has been, always will be.
-- Grandma Moses I dislike arguments of any kind. They are always vulgar, and often convincing.
-- Oscar Wilde Weather Our own heart, and not other men's opinions form our true honor.
-- Coleridge, Samuel Taylor First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.
- Mahatma Gandhi I still believe in liberalism today as much as I ever did, but, oh, there was a happy time when I
believed in liberals...
-- G. K. Chesterton Weather
Convictions are more dangerous enemies of truth than lies.
-- Friedrich Nietzsche Ninety percent of everything is crap.
-- Theodore Sturgeon A man's ethical behavior should be based effectually on sympathy, education, and social ties; no
religious basis is necessary. Man would indeed be in a poor way if he had to be restrained by fear
of "Freedom of press is limited to those who own one." (Henry Louis Mencken) Marriage is a great institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
-- Marx Groucho, the film "Animal Crackers" Weather "Wise men learn more from fools, than fools from the wise." (Anonymous) Giving every man a vote has no more made men wise and free than Christianity has made them
good.
-- H.L. Mencken "It seems to me that if you or I must choose between two courses of thought or action, we should remember our dying and try so to live that our death brings no pleasure on the world." (John Steinbeck Weather
There are times when parenthood seems nothing but feeding the mouth that bites you.
-- Peter De Vries Black holes are where God divided by zero.
- Steven Wright The male is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness, can be trained to do most things.
-- Jilly Cooper The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don't have it.
- George Bernard Shaw "Marriage excuses no one the freak's roll-call." (Joe Orton, What the Butler Saw) Weather Gravitation can not be held responsible for people falling in love.
-- Albert Einstein Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions - it only guarantees equality of opportunity.
- Irving Kristol Most turkeys taste better the day after; my mother's tasted better the day before.
-- Rita Rudner Weather
"Dear World, I am leaving because I am bored. I feel I have lived long enough. I am leaving you with your worries in this sweet cesspool. Good luck." (George Sanders, suicide note) The one serious conviction that a man should have is that nothing is to be taken too seriously.
-- Nicholas Murray Butler Criticism is prejudice made plausible.
-- H. L. Mencken Every flower must grow through dirt.
-- Anonymous Boredom is the feeling that everything is a waste of time; serenity, that nothing is.
-- Thomas Szasz Weather "Eternal vigilance is the price of freedom." (Raymonde Uy) Man does not live by words alone, despite the fact that he sometimes has to eat them.
-- Adlai Stevenson "I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury." (Groucho Marx) Weather
