Football incorporates the two worst elements of American society: violence punctuated by
committee meetings.
-- George F. Will, journalist, political commentator, 1994 The man with the best job in the country is the Vice President. All he has to do is get up every
morning and say, "How's the President?"
-- Will Rogers The average Ph.D thesis is nothing but the transference of bones from one graveyard to another.
-- Frank J. Dobie, A Texan in England, 1945 A scar nobly got, or a noble scar, is a good livery of honour; so belike is that.
-- Shakespeare, William Honor the ocean of love.
-- George de Benneville Museums The love we give away is the only love we keep.
-- Elbert Hubbard "I want my food dead. Not sick, not dying, dead." (Oscar Wilde) To love is to receive a glimpse of heaven.
-- Karen Sunde Museums
Love makes the time pass. Time makes love pass.
-- French Proverb "Love matches, so called, have illusion for their father and need for their mother." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.
-- Albert Einstein The planting of trees is the least self-centered of all that we can do. It is a purer act of faith than
the procreation of children.
-- Thornton Wilder I regret that I have but one life to give for my country.
-- Nathan Hale Museums "In fact, most deaths are not tragic. Few people die because of a flaw in character, which is the essential element of tragedy. They just die." (John Chancellor, The News Business) "Thanks to my solid academic training, today I can write hundreds of words on virtually any topic without possessing a shred of information, which is how I got a good job in journalism." (Dave Barry) Paradoxically though it may seem, it is none the less true that life imitates art far more than art
imitates life.
-- Oscar Wilde Museums
It is always incomprehensible to a man that a woman should ever refuse an offer of marriage.
-- Jane Austen Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.
-- Napoleon Bonaparte "In fact, most deaths are not tragic. Few people die because of a flaw in character, which is the essential element of tragedy. They just die." (John Chancellor, The News Business) Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.
-- Oscar Wilde The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open. -- Groucho Marx Museums Before you put on a frown, make absolutely sure there are no smiles available.
-- Jim Beggs Nuns: Women who marry God. If they divorce Him, do they get half the universe? I worship the quicksand he walks in.
- Art Buchwald Museums
In the case of good books, the point is not to see how many of them you can get through, but how
many can get through to you.
-- Mortimer J. Adler Many a wife thinks her husband is the world's greatest lover. But she can never catch him at it. I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial.
- Irvin S. Cobb Someone once asked me why women don't gamble as much as men do and I gave the
commonsensical reply that we don't have as much money. That was a true but incomplete
answer. In fact, women's total ins He who laughs, lasts.
-- Mary Pettibone Poole Museums Marriage certificate is just another word for a work permit. "I'll endorse with my name any of the following; clothing AC-DC, cigarettes, small tapes, sound equipment, ROCK N' ROLL RECORDS, anything, film, and film equipment, Food, Helium, Whips, MONEY!!" (And Marriage is like a violin. After the music is over, you still have the strings.
-- Anonymous Museums
"It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend." (William Blake) "As a child, I thought I hated everybody, but when I grew up I realized it was just children I didn't like." (Philip Larkin) "I love Los Angeles. I love Hollywood. They're beautiful. Everybody's plastic, but I love plastic. I want to be plastic." (Andy Warhol, Holy Terror: Andy Warhol Close Up) Show my head to the people, it is worth seeing.
-- Georges Danton, to his executioner Anything is possible, but only a few things actually happen.
-- Richard Rosen Museums "Whether it is a black cat or a white cat, as long as it can catch the rat, it is a good cat." (Deng Xiao Ping) I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about "short" and
"cheap"?
-- Phyllis Diller Obstacles cannot crush me. Every obstacle yields to stern resolve. He who is fixed to a star does
not change his mind.
-- Leonardo da Vinci, Notebooks Museums
If pleasures are greatest in anticipation, just remember that this is also true of trouble.
-- Elbert Hubbard Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence--a life sentence. Call on God, but row away from the rocks.
-- Indian proverb All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it
is accepted as being self-evident.
- Arthur Schopenhauer "I want my food dead. Not sick, not dying, dead." (Oscar Wilde) Museums The person who is slowest in making a promise is most faithful in its performance.
-- Jean-Jacques Rousseau Republican boys date Democratic girls. They plan to marry Republican girls, but feel they're
entitled to a little fun first.
-- Anonymous "See - one side of my face is gentle and kind, incapable of anything but love of my fellow man. The other side, the other profile, is cruel and predatory and evil, incapable of anything but lusts and Museums
The most wasted day of all is that in which we have not laughed.
-- Sebastian Roch Nicolas Chamfort Not only is the universe stranger than we imagine, it is stranger than we can imagine.
Sir Arthur Eddington (1882 - 1944) The old believe everything, the middle-aged suspect everything, the young know everything.
-- Oscar Wilde We are all here for a spell; get all the good laughs you can.
-- Will Rogers Go on, get out. Last words are for fools who haven't said enough.
-- Karl Marx, dying words to his housekeeper Museums A woman seldom asks advice before she has bought her wedding clothes.
-- Joseph Addison Disclaimer: Even my wife doesn't agree with everything I say, and she loves me dearly. My employers don't love me nearly as much as she does. Draw your own conclusions. If men knew all that women think, they'd be twenty times more daring.
-- Alphonse Karr Museums
Whenever I dwell for any length of time on my own shortcomings, they gradually begin to seem
mild harmless, rather engaging little things, not at all like the staring defects in other people's
chara The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up in the morning, and does
not stop until you get into the office.
-- Robert Frost Adolescence is a period of rapid changes. Between the ages of 12 and 17, for example, a parent
ages as much as 20 years.
-- Anonymous I don't know if God exists, but it would be better for His reputation if He didn't.
-- Jules Renard Marriage is bliss. Ignorance is bliss. Ergo...
-- Anonymous Museums In matrimony, to hesitate is sometimes to be saved.
-- Samuel Butler Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson If money is your hope for independence you will never have it. The only real security that a man
will have in this world is a reserve of knowledge, experience, and ability.
-- Henry Ford Museums
Now is the time for all good men to come to.
-- Walt Kelly Never look at the trombones. You'll only encourage them.
-- Richard Strauss, on conducting He who knows only his own side of the case, knows little of that.
-- John Stuart Mill Why bother with marriage? Just find a woman you hate and buy her a house. The remarkable thing about television is that it permits several million people to laugh at the same
joke and still feel lonely.
-- T. S. Eliot Museums Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has not heart; and any man who is over 30, and is
not a conservative, has no brains.
-- Winston Churchill The trouble with children is that they are not returnable.
-- Quentin Crisp "Character is determined more by the lack of certain experiences than by those one has had." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Museums
My other wife is beautiful. Marriage is like a bank account. You put it in, you take it out, you lose interest.
-- Irwin Corey "I would rather be exposed to the inconveniences attending too much liberty than to those attending too small a degree of it." (Thomas Jefferson, to Archibald Stuart, 1791) I don't mind if you don't like my manners. I don't like them myself. They're pretty bad. I grieve over
them on long winter evenings.
-- Humphrey Bogart to Lauren Bacall, in "The Big Sleep" Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life.
-- Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for a federal anti-smoking
campaign Museums If it were weren't for pickpockets, I'd have no sex life at all.
-- Rodney Dangerfield He who kisses the joy is it flies lives in eternity's sunrise
-- William Blake Happiness is nothing more than health and a poor memory.
-- Albert Schweitzer Museums
blah bl "Less is more." (Robert Browning) It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.
- Oscar Wilde "Let no one be discouraged by the belief there is nothing one person can do against the enormous array of the world's ills, misery, ignorance, and violence. Few will have the greatness to bend history People, like nails, lose their effectiveness when they lose direction and begin to bend.
-- Walter Savage Landor Love is shown in your deeds, not in your words.
-- Fr. Jerome Cummings Museums Nothing average ever stood as a monument to progress. When progress is looking for a partner it
doesn't turn to those who believe they are only average. It turns instead to those who are forever
sea There's nothing remarkable about it. All one has to do is hit the right keys at the right time and the
instrument plays itself.
-- Johann Sebastian Bach I don't even butter my bread; I consider that cooking.
-- Katherine Cebrian Museums
