I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.
- Thomas Jefferson "A dress makes no sense unless it inspires men to take it off of you." (Francois Sagan) There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and
why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and
inex Truth must necessarily be stranger than fiction, for fiction is the creation of the human mind and
therefore congenial to it.
-- G. K. Chesterton "In married life three is company and two is none." (Oscar Wilde, The Importance of Being Earnest) Health That men do not learn very much from the lessons of history is the most important of all the
lessons that history has to teach.
-- Aldous Huxley The great man fights the elements in his time that hinder his own greatness, in other words his own freedom and sincerity." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) I know a dead parrot when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now.... This is an ex-parrot.
-- John Cleese, Monty Python, British comedy television show Health
"Kill a man, and you are a murderer. Kill millions of men, and you are a conquerer. Kill everyone, and you are a god." (Jean Rostand) "In some ways, I never outgrew my adolescence. I wake up in the morning and think, 'Oh my God, I'm late for a math test!' But then I say, 'Wait a minute. I'm 40.'" (Daniel Clowes) "If liberty and equality, as is thought by some, are chiefly to be found in democracy, they will be best attained when all persons alike share in government to the utmost." (Aristotle) "Most people don't realize that large pieces of coral, which have been painted brown and attached to the skull by common wood screws, can make a child look like a deer." (Jack Handey) Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.
-- Oscar Wilde Health Basically, I no longer work for anything but the sensation I have while working.
- Albert Giacometti (sculptor) The first duty of a lecturer: to hand you after an hour's discourse a nugget of pure truth to wrap up
between the pages of your notebooks, and keep on the mantlepiece forever.
-- Virginia Woolf Parents are the bones upon which children sharpen their teeth.
-- Peter Ustinov Health
All human actions are equivalent... and... all are on principle doomed...
-- Jean-Paul Sartre, "Being and Nothingness" There was never a child so lovely but his mother was glad to get him asleep.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson Usenet is like a herd of performing elephants with diarrhea -- massive, difficult to redirect, awe-
inspiring, entertaining, and a source of mind-boggling amounts of excrement when you least
expect i When you see what some girls marry, you realize how they must hate to work for a living.
-- Helen Rowland It is never too late to be what you might have been.
-- George Eliot Health Love is what we are born with. Fear is what we learn. The spiritual journey is the unlearning of
fear and prejudices and the acceptance of love back in our hearts. Love is the essential reality
and If we let people see that kind of thing, there would never again be any war.
-- Pentagon official, on why US military censored graphic footage from the Gulf War A man in the house is worth two in the street.
-- Mae West Health
To look backward for a while is to refresh the eye, to restore it, and to render it more fit for its
prime function of looking forward.
-- Margaret Fairless Barber Worrying is like a rocking chair, it gives you something to do, but it doesn't get you anywhere.
-- Anonymous A good marriage is at least 80 percent good luck in finding the right person at the right time. The
rest is trust.
-- Nanette Newman, British actress "If it doesn't matter who wins or loses, then why do they keep score?" (Vince Lombardi) If someone offers you a breath mint, accept it.
-- H. Jackson Brown, Jr., Life's Little Treasure Book, on wisdom Health I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about 'short' and 'cheap'? -- Phyllis Diller The authority of those who teach is often an obstacle to those who want to learn.
-- Cicero A theory is something nobody believes, except the person who made it. An experiment is
something everybody believes, except the person who made it.
-- Albert Einstein, attributed Health
Boredom is the feeling that everything is a waste of time; serenity, that nothing is.
-- Thomas Szasz Children today are tyrants. They contradict their parent, gobble their food, and tyrannize their
teachers.
-- Socrates The Church is an organism that grows best in an alien society.
-- C. Stacey Woods Unfortunately, the media have trouble distinguishing between real science and propaganda
cross-dressed as science.
-- Linda Bowles, political columnist Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.
-- Carl Gustav Jung Health I read the book of Job last night - I don't think God comes out well in it.
-- Virginia Woolf "I believe there are more instances of the abridgement of the freedom of the people by gradual and silent encroachments of those in power than by violent and sudden usurpations." (James Madison) Television: A medium. So called because it is neither rare nor well done.
-- Ernie Kovacs Health
You have no more right to consume happiness without producing it than to consume wealth
without producing it.
-- George Bernard Shaw See what will happen if you don't stop biting your fingernails?
-- Will Rogers, to his niece on seeing the Venus de Milo blah "Great things are not done by impulse, but by a series of small things brought together." (Vincent van Gogh) Trying to determine what is going on in the world by reading newspapers is like trying to tell the
time by watching the second hand of a clock.
-- Ben Hecht There is no realizable power that man cannot, in time, fashion the tools to attain, nor any power
so secure that the naked ape will not abuse it. So it is written in the genetic cards - only physics Health I would rather live and love where death is king than have eternal life where love is not.
-- Robert G. Ingersoll Sex is like bridge: If you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand.
-- Charles Pierce Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action.
- Auric Goldfinger, in Goldfinger by Ian L. Fleming Health
May you be blessed with a wife so healthy and strong, she can pull the plow when your horse drops dead. If I were a girl, I'd despair. The supply of good women far exceeds that of the men who deserve
them.
-- Robert Graves "There is only one success: to be able to spend your life in your own way, and not to give others absurd maddening claims upon it." (Christopher Darlington Morley) Democracy is a device that insures we shall be governed no better than we deserve.
-- George Bernard Shaw God help the man who won't marry until he finds a perfect woman, and God help him still more if
he finds her.
-- Benjamin Tillett Health I couldn't remember when I had been so disappointed. Except perhaps the time I found out that
M&Ms really do melt in your hand...
-- Peter Oakley Democracy is a government where you can say what you think even if you don't think.
-- Anon. I have noticed that nothing I have never said ever did me any harm.
-- Calvin Coolidge Health
"I have realized that the past and future are real illusions, that they exist in the present, which is what there is and all there is." (Alan Watts) "A true friend stabs you in the front." (Oscar Wilde) "The reward of a thing well done is having done it." (Ralph Waldo Emerson) In any organization there will always be one person who knows what is going on. This person
must be fired.
-- Conway's Law In every country and every age, the priest has been hostile to Liberty.
-- Thomas Jefferson Health "Guard with jealous attention the public liberty. Suspect every one who approaches that jewel. Unfortunately, nothing will preserve it but downright force. Whenever you give up that force, you are ine If you do not tell the truth about yourself you cannot tell it about other people.
-- Virginia Woolf Work expands to fill the time available.
-- PARKINSON'S LAW Health
"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships." (Sharon Stone) Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes.
-- Lewis Grizzard Teach a parrot the terms "supply and demand" and you've got an economist.
-- Thomas Carlyle Love is the dawn of marriage, and marriage is the sunset of love.
-- French saying Marriage is a romance in which the hero dies in the first chapter.
-- Anonymous Health Nothing is beneath you if it is in the direction of your life.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson Sleep is that golden chain that ties health and our bodies together.
-- Thomas Dekker 2,400,000 Americans play the accordian - hopefully not at the same time.
-- inside of a Pepsi cap Health
No one really listens to anyone else, and if you try it for a while you'll see why.
-- Mignon McLaughlin "If liberty and equality, as is thought by some, are chiefly to be found in democracy, they will be best attained when all persons alike share in government to the utmost." (Aristotle) Opportunities multiply as they are seized.
-- Sun Tzu For most of history, Anonymous was a woman.
-- Virginia Woolf How is it that little children are so intelligent and men so stupid? It must be education that does it.
-- Alexandre Dumas fils Health Mary had a little lamb and the doctor fainted.
-- Anonymous I just need enough to tide me over until I need more.
-- Bill Hoest People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid.
- Soren Aabye Kierkegaard Health
Multimedia? As far as I'm concerned, it's reading with the radio on!
-- Rory Bremner "I am interested in anything about revolt, disorder , chaos--especially activity that seems to have no meaning. It seems to me to be the road toward freedom ... Rather than starting inside, I start ou A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend upon the support of Paul.
-- George Bernard Shaw The nice thing about being a celebrity is that if you bore people they think it's their fault.
- Henry Kissinger blah "Ideas are like stars, you will not succeed in touching them with your hands, but like the seafaring man on the desert of waters, you choose them as your guides, and, following them, you reach yo Health "The greater the artist, the greater the doubt. Perfect confidence is granted to the less talented as a consolation prize." (Robert Hughes) Man's mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions.
-- Oliver Wendell Holmes Do not fear to be eccentric in opinion, for every opinion now accepted was once eccentric.
-- Bertrand Russell Health
