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"Liberty has never come from the government. Liberty has always come from the subjects of it. The history of liberty is a history of resistance. The history of liberty is a history of limitations of g Having a family is like having a bowling alley installed in your brain.
-- Martin Mull Mother-in-law: A woman who destroys her son-in-law's peace of mind by giving him a piece of
hers.
-- Anonymous "Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful committed citizens can change the world, indeed it is the only thing that ever has." (Margaret Mead, 1901-78) "One should die proudly when it is no longer possible to live proudly." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Science and Environment Here's to you and here's to me,
and I hope we never disagree.
But, if that should ever be,
to HELL with you, here's to ME!
-- Anonymous No one really listens to anyone else, and if you try it for a while you'll see why.
-- Mignon McLaughlin The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up in the morning, and does
not stop until you get into the office.
-- Robert Frost Science and Environment
Losing a wife can be hard. In my case, it was almost impossible. "I learned more from the one restaurant that didn't work than from all the ones that were successes." (Wolfgang Puck, restauranteur) Of the seven dwarves, only Dopey had a shaven face. This should tell us something about the
custom of shaving.
-- Tom Robbins, Skinny Legs and All Nothing average ever stood as a monument to progress. When progress is looking for a partner it
doesn't turn to those who believe they are only average. It turns instead to those who are forever
sea Reason can answer questions, but imagination has to ask them.
-- Ralph N. Gerard Science and Environment Vote early and vote often.
- Al Capone You can observe a lot by watching.
-- Yogi Berra I criticize by creation - not by finding fault.
- Cicero Science and Environment
If God wanted women to understand men, football would never have been created.
-- Seen on a bumper sticker It's not the men in my life that count, it's the life in my men.
-- Mae West Don't be so humble - you are not that great.
- Golda Meir (1898-1978) to a visiting diplomat You can't buy love, but you can pay heavily for it.
-- Henny Youngman I heard someone tried the monkeys-on-typewriters bit trying for the plays of W. Shakespeare, but
all they got was the collected works of Francis Bacon.
- Bill Hirst Science and Environment Conceit causes more conversation than wit.
-- LaRouchefoucauld The only limit to our realization of tomorrow will be our doubts of today.
-- Franklin D. Roosevelt Don't worry about people stealing your ideas. If your ideas are any good, you'll have to ram them
down people's throats.
-- Howard Aiken Science and Environment
I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can
write better.
- A. J. Liebling I shall return.
-- General Douglas MacArthur The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I
have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.
-- George Bernard Shaw "Have you ever fed your pocket and starved your soul?" (Ivana Santilli, Too Deep) Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.
-- Aldous Huxley Science and Environment I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.
- Thomas Jefferson The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other
is ready.
-- Henry David Thoreau "The act of policing is, in order to punish less often, to punish more severely." (Napoleon Bonaparte) Science and Environment
Marriage is low down, but you spend the rest of your life paying for it. In a hierarchy, every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence. Therefore:
? In time, every post tends to be occupied by an employee who is incompetent to carry out its
duties.
? Work "I do not suppose I shall be remembered for anything. But I don't think about my work in those terms. It is just as vulgar to work for the sake of posterity as to work for the sake of money." (George In matrimony, to hesitate is sometimes to be saved.
-- Samuel Butler This delivery driver carries no money. His wife has it all. Science and Environment I believe God is managing affairs and that He doesn't need any advice from me. With God in
charge, I believe everything will work out for the best in the end. So what is there to worry about.
-- Hen "Self-confidence is the first requisite for achieving great things." (Samuel Johnson) Imagine if birds were tickled by feathers. You'd see a flock of birds come by, laughing hysterically!
-- Steven Wright Science and Environment
All women are born evil. Some just realize their potential later in life than others.
-- Chad A. Gamble, Escape, short story "Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships." (Sharon Stone) Nothing says loving like marrying your cousin! -- Al Bundy We had a lot in common. I loved him and he loved him.
-- Shelley Winters Trust everybody, but cut the cards.
-- Finley Peter Dunne Science and Environment One cardinal rule of marriage should never be forgotten: "Give little, give seldom, and above all,
give grudgingly." Otherwise, what could have been a proper marriage could become an orgy of
sexual Morality consists in suspecting other people of not being legally married.
-- George Bernard Shaw Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.
- Mel Brooks Science and Environment
When I can no longer bear to think of the victims of broken homes, I begin to think of the victims
of intact ones.
-- Peter DeVries How could they tell?
-- Dorothy Parker, upon hearing that President Coolidge had died I will try to follow the advice that a university president once gave a prospective commencement
speaker. "Think of yourself as the body at an Irish wake" he said. "They need you in order to have
th Love is a gross exaggeration of the difference between one person and everybody else.
-- George Bernard Shaw Oregon Democratic Senate candidate Tom Bruggere, in describing his support for
comprehensive health care during a candidates' forum, said he supported "erection-to-
resurrection" coverage. He later a Science and Environment "No person was ever honored for what he received. Honor has been the reward for what he gave." (Calvin Coolidge) I don't know why I did it, I don't know why I enjoyed it, and I don't know why I'll do it again.
-- Bart Simpson, young character from The Simpsons, U.S. animated television show Experience is not what happens to you; it's what you do with what happens to you.
-- Aldous Huxley Science and Environment
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to
us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
-- Jeff Raskin "Commit yourself to quality from day one ... it's better to do nothing at all than to do something badly." (Mark McCormack) There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called
marriage.
-- James Holt McGavran Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop
questioning.
-- Albert Einstein What does not kill me makes me stronger.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Science and Environment I'll sleep when I'm dead.
- Warren Zevon I do not see the EEC as a great love affair. It is more like nine desperate middle-ages couples with failing marriages meeting at a Brussels hotel for a group grope. -- Tynan An understanding heart is everything is a teacher, and cannot be esteemed highly enough. One
looks back with appreciation to the brilliant teachers, but with gratitude to those who touched our
human Science and Environment
The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people.
- Lucille S. Harper After finding no qualified candidates for the position of principal, the school board is extremely
pleased to announce the appointment of David Steele to the post.
-- Philip Streifer, Superintendent "One of the good things about low self-esteem is never having rain hit you in the face." (John A. Simone Jr.) "Never frighten a little man. He'll kill you." (Robert A. Heinlein) The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a 'C', the idea must be
feasible.
- A Yale University management professor in response to student Fred Smith's paper prop Science and Environment If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.
- Carl Sagan Launch out into the deep. One discovers by living in scorn of consequence.
-- Essie Summers It is absurd to divide people into good or bad. People are either charming or tedious.
-- Oscar Wilde Science and Environment
cannot imagine any condition which would cause this ship to founder. Modern shipbuilding has
gone beyond that.
-- E. I. Smith, Captain of the Titanic Education is not filling a bucket, but lighting a fire.
-- William Yeats "I would rather be exposed to the inconveniences attending too much liberty than to those attending too small a degree of it." (Thomas Jefferson, to Archibald Stuart, 1791) Problems worthy of attack prove their worth by fighting back.
- Paul Erdos The only thing you take with you when you're gone is what you leave behind.
-- John Allston Science and Environment "I don't think it's the nature of any man to be monogamous. Men are propelled by genetically ordained impulses over which they have no control to distribute their seed." (Marlon Brando) To travel hopefully is a better thing than to arrive, and the true success is to labour.
-- Robert L. Stevenson Icky icky icky icky fKANG zoop-boing n zowzyin...
-- The Knights who so recently said "Nee!", Monty Python, British comedy television show Science and Environment
Women see better than men. Men see lazily, if they do not expect to act. Women see quite
without any wish to act.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson I admire the serene assurance of those who have religious faith. It is wonderful to observe the
calm confidence of a Christian with four aces.
-- Mark Twain A person should never be ashamed to own that he is wrong, which is but saying in other words
that he is wiser today than he was yesterday.
-- Alexander Pope Never look at the trombones. You'll only encourage them.
-- Richard Strauss, on conducting Our schools have been scientifically designed to prevent over-education from happening. [...] The
average American (should be) content with their humble role in life, because they're not tempted
to Science and Environment To marry is to halve your rights and double your duties.
-- Arthur Schopenhauer Anyway, no drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we're looking for the
source of our troubles, we shouldn't test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity,
ign What's another word for "Thesaurus?"
-- Steven Wright Science and Environment
