Realism is a corruption of reality.
-- Wallace Stevens "College: two hundred people reading same book. An obvious mistake. Two hundred people can read two hundred books." (John Cage, M, Writings 1967 - 1972) What would you attempt if you knew you could not fail?
-- Robert Schuller The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to
contact us.
-- Bill Watterson, in his comic strip Calvin and Hobbes Politics is for people who have a passion for changing life but lack a passion for living it.
-- Tom Robbins Oldbury He who conquers himself is the mightiest warrior.
-- Confucius I sometimes think that God, in creating man, overestimated His ability.
-- Oscar Wilde As life is action and passion, it is required of a man that he should share the passion and action
of his time, at the peril of being not to have lived.
-- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr. Oldbury
Of the seven dwarves, only Dopey had a shaven face. This should tell us something about the
custom of shaving.
-- Tom Robbins, Skinny Legs and All I'm for abolishing and doing away with redundancy.
-- J. Curtis McKay, Wisconsin State Elections Board Marriage is a thing which puts a ring on a woman's finger and two under the man's eyes. Even a band of angels can turn ugly and start looting if enough angels are unemployed and
hanging around the Pearly Gates convinced that all the succubi own all the liquor stores in
Heaven.
-- P. J If you were plowing a field, which would you rather use? Two strong oxen or 1024 chickens?
- Seymour Cray (1925-1996), father of supercomputing Oldbury Faith is believing what you know ain't so.
-- Mark Twain Love makes the time pass. Time makes love pass.
-- French Proverb The public have an insatiable curiosity to know everything. Except what is worth knowing.
Journalism, conscious of this, and having tradesman-like habits, supplies their demands.
-- Oscar Wilde Oldbury
If God had meant us to vote, He would have given us candidates.
-- Seen on a bumper sticker "Liberty has never come from the government. Liberty has always come from the subjects of it. The history of liberty is a history of resistance. The history of liberty is a history of limitations of g Integrity is what we do, what we say, and what we say we do.
--Don Galer What is politics, after all, but the compulsion to preside over property and make other peoples'
decisions for them?
-- Tom Robbins, Skinny Legs and All Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-
proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe
is Oldbury Losing a wife can be hard. In my case, it was almost impossible. Always behave like a duck--keep calm and unruffled on the surface but paddle like the devil
underneath.
-- Jacob Braude "Every act of creation is first an act of destruction." (Pablo Picasso) Oldbury
Our marriage would have worked if we hadn't lived together.
-- Joan Thompson Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive.
-- Anaïs Nin Hell is a half-filled auditorium.
- Robert Frost We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we
respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart.
-- H. L. Mencken A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.
- Paul Erdos Oldbury Honest disagreement is often a good sign of progress.
-- Gandhi Hell is a half-filled auditorium.
- Robert Frost There is only one kind of love, but there are a thousand imitations.
-- François de La Rouchefoucauld Oldbury
The innkeeper loves the drunkard, but not for a son-in-law.
-- Yiddish Proverb "Paper should be edible, nutritious. Inks used for printing or writing should have delicious flavors. Magazines or newspapers read at breakfast should be eaten for lunch. Instead of throwing one's mai Marriage is like a cage--one sees the birds outside desperate to get in and those inside equally
desparate to get out.
-- Di Peatlins The cynics are right nine times out of ten.
- Henry Louis Mencken And since the stench of death will always attract flies and vermin, the arrival of Geraldo was
perhaps inevitable.
-- Garry Trudeau Oldbury I don't want to achieve immortality through my work... I want to achieve it by not dying!
-- Woody Allen An understanding heart is everything is a teacher, and cannot be esteemed highly enough. One
looks back with appreciation to the brilliant teachers, but with gratitude to those who touched our
human It is never too late to be what you might have been.
-- George Eliot Oldbury
Every flower must grow through dirt.
-- Anonymous If I tell a lie it's only because I think I'm telling the truth.
-- Phil Gaglardi, Minister of Highways, British Columbia, Canada Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you.
- Carl Gustav Jung There are no days in life so memorable as those which vibrated to some stroke of the
imagination.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson If the French were really intelligent, they'd speak English.
-- Wilfred Sheed Oldbury People, like nails, lose their effectiveness when they lose direction and begin to bend.
-- Walter Savage Landor "As long as people will accept crap, it will be financially profitable to dispense it." (Dick Cavett) Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.
-- Philip K. Dick Oldbury
Imagine if birds were tickled by feathers. You'd see a flock of birds come by, laughing hysterically!
-- Steven Wright Golf is a good walk spoiled.
-- Mark Twain Wind is to fire like distance is to love; it extinguishes the small and enflames the great.
-- Anonymous I know nothing about sex, because I was always married.
-- Zsa Zsa Gabor Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech.
- Martin Fraquhar Tupper Oldbury "One can do without people but one has need of a friend." (Chinese Proverb) Marriage is like a hot bath. Once you get used to it, it's not so hot. If we may believe our logicians, man is distinguished from all other creatures by the
faculty of laughter.
-- Joseph Addison Oldbury
The first rule of intelligent tinkering is to save all the parts.
-- Paul Ehrlich A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.
-- Gloria Steinem Parents often talk about the younger generations as if they didn't have anything to do with it. The whole problem can be stated quite simply by asking, "Is there a meaning to music?" My
answer would be, "Yes." And "Can you state in so many words what the meaning is?" My answer
to that would be If I have seen farther than others, it is because I was standing on the shoulders of giants.
-- Isaac Newton Oldbury A man can do what he wants, but not want what he wants.
-- Arthur Schoperhauer Marriage is a great institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
-- Marx Groucho, the film "Animal Crackers" The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history...this century's history.... We all lived
in this century. I didn't live in this century.
-- Dan Quayle, then Indiana senator and Republic Oldbury
Statistics are like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive, but what they conceal is vital.
-- Aaron Levenstein Here's to you and here's to me,
and I hope we never disagree.
But, if that should ever be,
to HELL with you, here's to ME!
-- Anonymous When you are right, you cannot be too radical; When you are wrong, you cannot be too
conservative.
-- Martin Luther King, Jr. The better part of valor is discretion.
-- William Shakespeare 1564-1616 from King Henry the Fourth, Part I This delivery driver carries no money. His wife has it all. Oldbury I'll sleep when I'm dead.
- Warren Zevon "A man of genius makes no mistakes; his errors are volitional and are the portals of discovery." (James Joyce) Democracy is a process by which the people are free to choose the man who will get the blame.
-- Laurence J. Peter Oldbury
Even overweight cats instinctively know the cardinal rule: when fat, arrange yourself in slim
poses.
-- John Weitz, American Designer I do not see the EEC as a great love affair. It is more like nine desperate middle-ages couples with failing marriages meeting at a Brussels hotel for a group grope. -- Tynan blah "Great things are not done by impulse, but by a series of small things brought together." (Vincent van Gogh) A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.
-- Walter Winchell Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months.
-- Oscar Wilde Oldbury What we anticipate seldom occurs: but what we least expect generally happens.
-- Benjamin Disraeli "Man is a strange animal. He generally cannot read the handwriting on the wall until his back is up against it." (Adlai Stevenson) Now is the time for all good men to come to.
-- Walt Kelly Oldbury
Politics is for people who have a passion for changing life but lack a passion for living it.
-- Tom Robbins If the facts don't fit the theory, change the facts.
-- Albert Einstein "I praise loudly. I blame softly." (Catherine the Great) They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist---
-- John B. Sedgwick, general, dying words, 1864 "That's the true sign. If the lover has not yet achieved his prize, his eyes will follow the woman, while she appears indifferent. But once he's gained his goal, it's the woman's eyes that follow him, Oldbury "The bite of conscience, like the bite of a dog into a stone, is a stupidity." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) "Self confidence is the first requisite to great undertakings." (Samuel Johnson) All courage is a form of constancy. It is always himself that a coward abandons first. After this all
other betrayals come.
-- Cormac McCarthy Oldbury
