A government is the only known vessel that leaks from the top.
-- James Reston UGLINESS, n. A gift of the gods to certain women, entailing virtue without humility.
-- Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, 1911 You've no idea of what a poor opinion I have of myself, and how little I deserve it.
-- W.S. Gilbert He who limps is still walking.
-- Stanislaw J. Lec Eternal boyhood is the dream of a depressing percentage of American males, and the locker
room is the temple where they worship arrested development.
-- Russell Baker Recreation and Sports I went into a McDonald's yesterday and said, "I'd like some fries." The girl at the counter said,
"Would you like some fries with that?"
-- Jay Leno The world has suffered more from the ravages of ill-advised marriages than from virginity.
-- Ambrose Bierce When Michelangelo finished the painting of the Sistine Chapel's ceiling, he spent the rest of his
life trying to remove the paint that had poured into his sleeve.
-- Francois Cavanna Recreation and Sports
"Workers of the world unite; you have nothing to lose but your chains." (Karl Marx) Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence--a life sentence. "People expect a certain reaction from a business, and when you pleasantly exceed those expectations, you've somehow passed an important psychological threshold." (Richard Thalheimer, president, The You'd be surprised how much it costs to look this cheap.
-- Dolly Parton "The meeting of two personalites is like the contact of two chemical substances. If there is any reaction, both are transformed." (Carl Gustav Jung) Recreation and Sports Jimmy Carter as President is like Truman Capote marrying Dolly Parton. The job is just too big for
him.
-- Rich Little "A man is only as faithful as his opportunity." (Chris Rock) I have an existential map; it has 'you are here' written all over it.
- Steven Wright Recreation and Sports
Some people talk in their sleep. Lecturers talk while other people sleep.
-- Albert Camus Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century.
-- Bob Perelman "To err is human; to forgive, divine." (Alexander Pope) Few things are harder to put up with than a good example.
- Mark Twain It may be that the race is not always to the swift, nor the battle to the strong -- but that is the way
to bet.
-- Damon Runyan Recreation and Sports I'm proud to be paying taxes in the United States. The only thing is - I could be just as proud for
half the money.
-- Arthur Godfrey Life is not an easy matter.... You cannot live through it without falling into frustration and cynicism
unless you have before you a great idea which raises you above personal misery, above
weakness Love is a gross exaggeration of the difference between one person and everybody else.
-- George Bernard Shaw Recreation and Sports
I do not have much patience with a thing of beauty that must be explained to be understood. If it
does need additional interpretation by someone other than the creator, then I question whether it
ha "Everywhere one seeks to produce meaning, to make the world signify, to render it visible. We are not, however, in danger of lacking meaning; quite the contrary, we are gorged with meaning and it is k We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we
respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart.
-- H. L. Mencken Talk to a man about himself and he will listen for hours.
-- Benjamin Disraeli "When marrying, ask yourself this question: Do you believe that you will be able to converse well with this person into your old age? Everything else in marriage is transitory." (Friedrich Wilhelm Ni Recreation and Sports Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech.
- Martin Fraquhar Tupper The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money usually costs a
lot less.
-- Brendon Behan The only Zen you find on the tops of mountains is the Zen you bring up there.
-- Robert M. Pirsig Recreation and Sports
Dear Mrs, Mr, Miss, or Mr and Mrs Daneeka: Words cannot express the deep personal grief I experienced when your husband, son, father or brother was killed, wounded, or reported missing in action. -- C The fantasy which serves as a support for the figure of the Stalinist Communist is therefore
exactly the same as the fantasy which is at work in the Tom and Jerry cartoons.
-- Slavoj Zizek There are three kinds of death in this world. There's heart death, there's brain death, and there's
being off the network.
-- Guy Almes Life isn't a matter of milestones, but of moments.
-- Rose Kennedy "Any existence deprived of freedom is a kind of death." (General Michel Aoun) Recreation and Sports Man is the only animal that laughs and has a state legislature.
-- Samuel Butler The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people.
- Lucille S. Harper Democracy encourages the majority to decide things about which the majority is blissfully
ignorant.
--John Simon Recreation and Sports
To love another person is to see the face of God.
-- Lyric from Les Miserables Love is much nicer to be in than an automobile accident, a tight girdle, a higher tax bracket, or a
holding pattern over Philadelphia.
-- Judith Viorst I will try to follow the advice that a university president once gave a prospective commencement
speaker. "Think of yourself as the body at an Irish wake" he said. "They need you in order to have
th Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.
-- John F. Kennedy There ought to be one day - just one - when there is open season on senators.
-- Will Rogers Recreation and Sports "Your children are not your children. They are sons and daughters of life's longing for itself. They come through you but not from you. And though they are with you, they belong not to you. You may gi Silence is as full of potential wisdom and wit as the unhewn marble of a great sculpture.
-- Aldous Huxley Music with dinner is an insult both to the cook and the violinist.
-- G. K. Chesterton Recreation and Sports
"If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way." (Mark Twain) You can't shake hands with a clenched fist.
-- Indira Gandhi "What is the difference between exploring and being lost?" (Dan Eldon, photojournalist) It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.
- Mark Twain To heck with marrying a girl who makes biscuits like her mother--I want to marry one who makes dough like her father. Recreation and Sports Spinster: A bachelor's wife. Health food makes me sick.
-- Calvin Trillin Democracy is a process by which the people are free to choose the man who will get the blame.
-- Laurence J. Peter Recreation and Sports
Be willing to make decisions. That's the most important quality in a good leader. Don't fall victim
to what I call the 'ready-aim-aim-aim-aim syndrome.' You must be willing to fire.
-- Gen. George Life is the flower for which love is the honey.
-- Victor Hugo Our schools have been scientifically designed to prevent over-education from happening. [...] The
average American (should be) content with their humble role in life, because they're not tempted
to blah "This is the hardest of all: to close the open hand out of love, and keep modest as a giver." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Nature gave men two ends - one to sit on and one to think with. Ever since then man's success or
failure has been dependent on the one he used most.
-- George R. Kirkpatrick Recreation and Sports If you are afraid of loneliness, do not marry. -- Chekhov "So little done, so much to do." (Cecil Rhodes) Diplomacy is the art of saying "Nice doggie" until you can find a rock.
-- Wynn Catlin, also attributed to Will Rogers Recreation and Sports
Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly.
-- Rose Franken "Love is always a stranger in the house of avarice." (Andreas Capellanus) There's no problem so awful that you can't add some guilt to it and make it even worse!
-- Calvin If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars.
- J. Paul Getty Love is blind and marriage is the institution for the blind.
-- James Graham Recreation and Sports "Friends are those people who know the words to the song in your heart and sing them back to you when you have forgotten the words." (Anonymous) "Dream as if you'll live forever; live as if you'll die tomorrow." (James Dean) There is no such thing as a moral or an immoral book. Books are well written or badly written.
-- Oscar Wilde Recreation and Sports
He who laughs last didn't get it.
-- Helen Giangregorio "The concerned investment banker is the one who blows the horn on his Mercedes as he drives through a red light." (Anonymous) I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
- Mark Twain I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible
by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth.
- Umberto Eco Absence diminishes small loves and increases great ones, as the wind blows out the candle and
blows up the bonfire.
-- François de La Rouchefoucauld Recreation and Sports In marriage, the bridge gets a shower. But for the groom, it's curtains! If a thing is worth doing at all, it is worth doing badly.
-- Gustav Holst, on amateur music-making I drink no more than a sponge.
-- Francis Rabelais, Works. Book i. Chap. v. Recreation and Sports
I belong to Bridegrooms Anonymous. Whenever I feel like getting married, they send over a lady in a housecoat and hair curlers to burn my toast for me. -- Dick Martin Disbelief in magic can force a poor soul into believing in government and business.
-- Tom Robbins The Middle Eastern states aren't nations; they're quarrels with borders.
-- P. J. O'Rourke Fine art and pizza delivery: what we do falls neatly in between.
-- David Letterman Even a band of angels can turn ugly and start looting if enough angels are unemployed and
hanging around the Pearly Gates convinced that all the succubi own all the liquor stores in
Heaven.
-- P. J Recreation and Sports A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend upon the support of Paul.
-- George Bernard Shaw My darling wife was always glum. I drowned her in a cask of rum, And so made sure that she would stay, In better spirits night and day. Now comes the mystery.
-- Henry Ward Beecher, dying words, March 8, 1887 Recreation and Sports
