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"I was lousy in school. Real screwed-up. A moron. I was antisocial and didn't bother with the other kids. A really bad student. I didn't have any brains. I didn't know what I was doing there. That's w >From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some
day I intend reading it.
-- Groucho Marx Work is a four-letter word.
-- The Smiths (Morrissey) Love is blind -- marriage is the eye-opener.
-- Pauline Thomason Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater.
- Gail Godwin Business and Economy Problems worthy of attack prove their worth by fighting back.
- Paul Erdos Fanaticism consists of redoubling your efforts when you have forgotten your aim.
-- George Santayana Imagination is the highest kite one can fly.
-- Lauren Bacall Business and Economy
"To live in the hearts we leave behind is not to die." (Thomas Campbell) Mary had a little lamb and the doctor fainted.
-- Anonymous Marriage is a great institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
-- Marx Groucho, the film "Animal Crackers" Lawyers are... operators of the toll bridge which anyone in search of justice must pass.
-- Jane Bryant Quinn It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both.
-- Niccolo Machiavelli, The Prince Business and Economy I married beneath me. All women do.
-- Lady Nancy Astor, attributed "Deep down, no one really believes they have a right to live. But this death sentence generally stays tucked away, hidden beneath the difficulty of living. If that difficulty is removed from time to t I went into a McDonald's yesterday and said, "I'd like some fries." The girl at the counter said,
"Would you like some fries with that?"
-- Jay Leno Business and Economy
"Where there's a marriage without love there will be love without marriage." (Benjamin Franklin) Work expands to fill the time available.
-- PARKINSON'S LAW There are only two things a child will share willingly communicable diseases and his mother's
age.
-- Modern Maturity The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people.
- Lucille S. Harper What does not kill me makes me stronger.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Business and Economy Man is the only animal that blushes--or needs to.
-- Mark Twain ARDOR, n. The quality that distinguishes love without knowledge.
-- Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, 1911 The better part of valor is discretion.
-- William Shakespeare 1564-1616 from King Henry the Fourth, Part I Business and Economy
If excessive smoking actually plays a role in the production of lung cancer, it seems to be a minor
one.
-- Dr. W.C. Heuper of the National Cancer Institute, as quoted in the New York Times on Apri Is there life before death?
-- Belfast Graffito "Education must have an end in view, for it is not an end in itself." (Sybil Marshall) Ah, well, then I suppose I shall have to die beyond my means.
-- Oscar Wilde, dying words Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century.
- Lewis Perelman Business and Economy The male is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness, can be trained to do most things.
-- Jilly Cooper Science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind.
-- Albert Einstein I never found the companion that was so companionable as solitude. we are for the most part
more lonely when we go abroad among men than when we stay in our chambers.
-- Thoreau Business and Economy
"A conservative is a man who sits and thinks, mostly sits." (Woodrow Wilson, 28th US president, 1856-1924) "May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house." (George Carlin) When I have a kid, I wanna put him in one of those strollers for twins, then run around the mall
looking frantic.
-- Steven Wright A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.
Robert Frost (1874-1963) Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it
- Henry David Thoreau Business and Economy I admire the serene assurance of those who have religious faith. It is wonderful to observe the
calm confidence of a Christian with four aces.
-- Mark Twain "A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools." (Douglas Adams) The question is not whether we will die, but how we will live.
-- Joan Borysenko Business and Economy
Nothing is really work unless you would rather be doing something else.
-- James Matthew Barrie Sex is God's joke on human beings.
-- Bette Davis Integrity without knowledge is weak and useless, and knowledge without integrity is dangerous
and dreadful.
-- Samuel Johnson I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
-- Groucho Marx I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about 'short' and 'cheap'? -- Phyllis Diller Business and Economy "I have learned that to be with those I like is enough." (Walt Whitman) "Every act of creation is first an act of destruction." (Pablo Picasso) Try praising your wife, even if it does frighten her at first.
-- Billy Sunday Business and Economy
Jealousy is the only vice that gives no pleasure.
-- Anonymous "Fake is as old as the Eden tree." (George Orson Welles) I drink no more than a sponge.
-- Francis Rabelais, Works. Book i. Chap. v. "Ask five economists and you'll get five different answers (six if one went to Harvard)." (Edgar R. Fiedler) "A new baby is like the beginning of all things--wonder, hope, a dream of possibilities." (Eda J. Le Shan) Business and Economy For one human being to love another: that is perhaps the most difficult of our tasks; the ultimate,
the last test and proof, the work for which all other work is but preparation.
-- Rainer Maria Ril "Give me liberty or give me death." (Patrick Henry) Nothing average ever stood as a monument to progress. When progress is looking for a partner it
doesn't turn to those who believe they are only average. It turns instead to those who are forever
sea Business and Economy
Of the seven dwarves, only Dopey had a shaven face. This should tell us something about the
custom of shaving.
-- Tom Robbins, Skinny Legs and All "Mistakes are the portals of discovery." (James Joyce) The wit of a graduate student is like champagne. Canadian champagne.
-- Robertson Davies Football incorporates the two worst elements of American society: violence punctuated by
committee meetings.
-- George F. Will, journalist, political commentator, 1994 When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President; I'm beginning to believe it.
-- Clarence Darrow Business and Economy "If liberty means anything at all, it means the right to tell people what they don't want to hear." (George Orwell) Giving a man space is like giving a dog a computer: the chances are he will not use it wisely.
-- Bette-Jane Raphael "No one wants a good education. Everyone wants a good degree." (Lee Rudolph) Business and Economy
We would often be sorry if our wishes were gratified.
-- Aesop We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we
respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart.
-- H. L. Mencken Work is the curse of the drinking class.
-- Oscar Wilde "Beauty awakens the soul to act." (Dante Alighieri, 1265-1321) "Failure is not an option!" (Ed Harris, as Gene Kranz, Apollo 13) Business and Economy "It is my ambition to say in ten sentences what other men say in whole books--what other men do not say in whole books." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche, Twilight of the Idols) Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.
- Benjamin Franklin Before I married, I had three theories about raising children and no children. Now, I have three
children and no theories.
-- John Wilmot, Earl of Rochester Business and Economy
"God's creatures, great and small ... eat them one, eat them all." (John A. Simone Sr.) It is a product of Einstein's genius -- taking a commonplace observation, combining it with some
simple imaginary experiments, and arriving at a revolutionary conclusion.
-- Clifford M. Wills, 1986 When a cat is dropped, it always lands on its feet, and when toast is dropped, it always lands with
the buttered side down. I propose to strap buttered toast to the back of a cat; the 2 will hover,
The mediocre teacher tells. The good teacher explains.The superior teacher demonstrates. The
great teacher inspires.
-- William Arthur Ward Fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds worth of distance run.
- Rudyard Kipling Business and Economy Can you imagine what I would do if I could do all I can?
-- The Artist Formerly Known As Prince "Of all mankind the great poet is the equable man." (Walt Whitman, Leaves of Grass, 1855) We do not have censorship. What we have is a limitation on what newspapers can report.
-- Louis Nel, Deputy Minister of Information, South Africa Business and Economy
A leader in the Democratic Party is a boss, in the Republican Party he is a leader.
Harry S. Truman An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field.
-- Niels Bohr "People demand freedom only when they have no power." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Man is a natural polygamist. He always has one woman leading him by the nose and another
hanging on to his coattails.
-- H. L. Mencken "One of the advantages of being disorderly is that one is constantly making exciting discoveries." (A. A. Milne) Business and Economy The right to swing my fist ends where the other man's nose begins.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes You'd be surprised how much it costs to look this cheap.
-- Dolly Parton The voice of the intellect is a soft one, but it does not rest till it has gained a hearing.
-- Sigmund Freud Business and Economy
