"Learn from the mistakes of others--you can never live long enough to make them all yourself." (John Luther) "Give me liberty or give me death." (Patrick Henry) The one serious conviction that a man should have is that nothing is to be taken too seriously.
-- Nicholas Murray Butler For one human being to love another: that is perhaps the most difficult of our tasks; the ultimate,
the last test and proof, the work for which all other work is but preparation.
-- Rainer Maria Ril "The market is not an invention of capitalism. It has existed for centuries. It is an invention of civilization." (Mikhail Gorbachev, June 8, 1990) Health Men marry because they are tired, women because they are curious; both are disappointed.
-- Oscar Wilde Advertising may be described as the science of arresting human intelligence long enough to get
money from it.
-- Stephen Leacock The philosophy exam was a piece of cake -- which was a bit of a surprise, actually, because I
was expecting some questions on a sheet of paper.
-- Smith & Jones Health
"I hear, I know. I see, I remember. I do, I understand." (Confucius, 551 BC-479) There are only two things a child will share willingly communicable diseases and his mother's
age.
-- Modern Maturity A sweetheart is a bottle of wine, a wife is a wine bottle.
-- Baudelaire Music is the art of thinking with sounds.
-- Jules Combarieu The most exciting attractions are between two opposites that never meet.
-- Andy Warhol Health Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.
-- George Santayana I went into a McDonald's yesterday and said, "I'd like some fries." The girl at the counter said,
"Would you like some fries with that?"
-- Jay Leno Journalism consists largely in saying "Lord Jones died" to people who never knew Lord Jones
was alive.
-- G. K. Chesterton Health
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a
philosopher.
- Socrates Blessed is the man, who having nothing to say, abstains from giving wordy evidence of the fact.
- George Eliot Patriotism is the last refuge of the scoundrel.
-- Samuel Johnson There is no cure for birth and death save to enjoy the interval.
-- George Santayana Never be unfaithful to a lover, except with your wife. -- PJ O'Rourke Health Vote for the man who promises least. He'll be the least disappointing.
-- Bernard Baruch "If I could drop dead right now, I'd be the happiest man alive." (Samuel Goldwyn) Anyone nit-picking enough to write a letter of correction to an editor doubtless deserves the error
that provoked it.
-- Alvin Toffler Health
"In all affairs it's a healthy thing now and then to hang a question mark on the things you have long taken for granted." (Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 1872-1970) If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question?
-- Lily Tomlin "College: two hundred people reading same book. An obvious mistake. Two hundred people can read two hundred books." (John Cage, M, Writings 1967 - 1972) Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler.
-- Albert Einstein "Friendship is born at the moment when one person says to another, 'What?! You too! Thought I was the only one.'" (Clive Staples Lewis) Health Faith is believing what you know ain't so.
-- Mark Twain Practice random acts of kindness and sensless acts of beauty.
-- Adair Lara "If liberty means anything at all, it means the right to tell people what they don't want to hear." (George Orwell) Health
I dislike arguments of any kind. They are always vulgar, and often convincing.
-- Oscar Wilde To decide, to be at the level of choice, is to take responsibility for your life and to be in control of
your life.
-- Abbie M. Dale The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it.
-- George Bernard Shaw Society is like a stew. If you don't stir it up every once in a while then a layer of scum floats to the
top.
-- Ed Abbey The nice thing about being a celebrity is that if you bore people they think it's their fault.
- Henry Kissinger Health 'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.
-- ee cummings "People have to talk about something just to keep their voice boxes in working order so they'll have good voice boxes in case there's ever anything really meaningful to say." (Kurt Vonnegut) "Nothing in education is so astonishing as the amount of ignorance it accumulates in the form of inert facts." (Henry B. Adams) Health
It is not enough to succeed. Others must fail.
-- Gore Vidal First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.
- Mahatma Gandhi There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.
-- Oscar Wilde Marriage is an institution--but who wants to live in an institution? "When even one American--who has done nothing wrong--is forced by fear to shut his mind and close his mouth--then all Americans are in peril." (Harry S. Truman) Health "True friendship is like sound health; the value of it is seldom known until it is lost." (Charles Caleb Colton) "Don't let your ego get too close to your position, so that if your position gets shot down, your ego doesn't go with it." (Colin Powell) Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to
take away.
- Antoine de Saint Exupery Health
Marriage is a matter of give and take, but so far I haven't been able to find anybody who'll take
what I have to give.
-- Cass Daley Most convicted felons are just people who were not taken to museums or Broadway musicals as
children.
-- Libby Gelman-Waxner My Alma mater was books, a good library . . . . I could spend the rest of my life reading, just
satisfying my curiosity.
--Malcolm X "I was born and raised with crocodiles; they are a piece of cake. But kids are so ... unpredictable." (Steve Irwin, "Crocodile Hunter") When I have a kid, I wanna put him in one of those strollers for twins, then run around the mall
looking frantic.
-- Steven Wright Health "I don't think it's the nature of any man to be monogamous. Men are propelled by genetically ordained impulses over which they have no control to distribute their seed." (Marlon Brando) Black holes are where God divided by zero.
- Steven Wright Idealism increases in direct proportion to one's distance from the problem.
-- John Galsworthy Health
MARRIAGE, n. The state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress and two
slaves, making in all, two.
-- Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, 1911 My wife says if I go fishing one more time she's going to leave me. Gosh, I'm going to miss her. My best friend is the one who brings out the best in me!
-- Henry Ford Why yes -- a bulletproof vest.
-- James Rodges, murderer, on his final request before the firing squad Politics is for people who have a passion for changing life but lack a passion for living it.
-- Tom Robbins Health Wife: The perfect acquisition for any gentleman feeling himself to have excessive control over his personal affairs. "There cannot be a God because, if there were one, I would not believe that I was not He." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) A man's feet should be planted in his country, but his eyes should survey the world.
-- George Santayana Health
"If man could be crossed with the cat, it would improve man but deteriorate the cat." (Mark Twain) Life is no brief candle to me. It is a sort of splendid torch which I have got a hold of for the
moment, and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future
generations I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.
-- Thomas Edison "Things do not change, we change." (Henry David Thoreau) Only the little people pay taxes.
-- Leona Helmsley, hotel owner and prison inmate, 1989 Health The nourishment is palatable.
-- Millard Fillmore, dying words "I have the terrible feeling that, because I am wearing a white beard and am sitting in the back of the theatre, you expect me to tell you the truth about something. These are the cheap seats, not Mou A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age.
-Robert Frost (1874-1963) Health
After silence, that which comes nearest to expressing the inexpressible is music.
-- Aldous Huxley When a friend is in trouble, don't annoy him by asking if there is anything you can do. Think up
something appropriate and do it.
-- E. W. Howe Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and annoys the pig.
-- Anonymous Marriage is like a cage--one sees the birds outside desperate to get in and those inside equally
desparate to get out.
-- Di Peatlins Freedom is what you do with what's been done to you.
-- John-Paul Sartre Health "Some look at things that are, and ask why. I dream of things that never were and ask why not?" (George Bernard Shaw) The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds; and the pessimist fears this
is true.
-- James Branch Cabell, The Silver Stallion I feel like Zsa Zsa Gabor's sixth husband. I know what I'm supposed to do, but I don't know how
to make it interesting.
-- Milton Berle, when called to the microphone at the 2nd Annual Comedians Hal Health
"I don't use drugs, my dreams are frightening enough." (M. C. Escher) A baby is God's opinion that the world should go on.
-- Carl Sandburg "Avoid providing material for the drama that is always stretched tight between parents and children; it uses up much of the children's strength and wastes the love of the elders, which acts and warms "Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known." (Blaise Pascal) UGLINESS, n. A gift of the gods to certain women, entailing virtue without humility.
-- Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, 1911 Health Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he's supposed to be doing at the
moment.
-- Robert Benchley "If A equals success, then the formula is: A = X + Y + Z, X is work. Y is play. Z is keep your mouth shut." (Albert Einstein) When one is trying to do something beyond his known powers it is useless to seek the approval
of friends. Friends are at their best in moments of defeat.
-- Henry Miller Health
