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I don't think I'll get married again. I'll just find a woman I don't like and give her a house. -- Lewis Grizzard "Small minds discuss people, average minds discuss events, great minds discuss ideas." (Anonymous) Ninety percent of everything is crap. -- Theodore Sturgeon The time is always right to do what is right. -- Martin Luther King, Jr. Not knowing when the dawn will come, I open every door. -- Emily Dickinson Health Of course, it is very important to be sober when you take an exam. Many worthwile careers in the street-cleansing, fruit-picking and subway-guitar-playing industries have been founded on a lack of u When marriage is outlawed, only outlaws will have inlaws. Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die. - Mel Brooks Health "... What good are dreams if they come true?" (Frederick Exley, A Fan's Notes) Mary had a little lamb and the doctor fainted. -- Anonymous Dew knot trussed yore spell chequer two fined awl yore mistakes. -- Brendan Hills "I owe much to my friends; but, all things considered, it strikes me that I owe even more to my enemies. The real person springs life under a sting even better than under a caress." (André Gide) "I either want less corruption, or more chance to participate in it." (Ashleigh Brilliant) Health The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting. -- Gloria Leonard Creativity is allowing oneself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep. -- Scott Adams, The Dilbert Principle You can complain because roses have thorns, or you can rejoice because thorns have roses. -- Ziggy, character in comic strip by Tom Wilson Health Love is the delusion that one man or woman differs from another. -- H. L. Mencken Marriage was all a woman's idea and for man's acceptance of the pretty yoke, it becomes us to be grateful. -- Phyllis McGinley It's impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune. -- Woody Allen The wit of a graduate student is like champagne. Canadian champagne. -- Robertson Davies When we treat man as he is, we make him worse than he is; when we treat him as if he already were what he potentially could be, we make him what he should be. -- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Health In times of profound change, the learners inherit the earth, while the learned find themselves beautifully equipped to deal with a world that no longer exists. -- Al Rogers, Global SchoolHouse Netw Imagine if birds were tickled by feathers. You'd see a flock of birds come by, laughing hysterically! -- Steven Wright Why doesn't she like me? Is it my hair, my overbite, the fact that I've worn the same shirt and shorts for the last four years? -- Bart Simpson, young character from The Simpsons, U.S. animated tele Health It is never too late to be what you might have been. -- George Eliot This isn't right, this isn't even wrong. - Wolfgang Pauli (1900-1958), upon reading a young physicist's paper A team effort is a lot of people doing what I say. -- Michael Winner There's many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher. -- Flannery O'Connor "I don't think it's the nature of any man to be monogamous. Men are propelled by genetically ordained impulses over which they have no control to distribute their seed." (Marlon Brando) Health We must become the change we want to see. -- Gandhi The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows. - Aristotle Onassis And gain is gain, however small. -- Robert Browning Health "Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It's not." (Theodor Seuss Geisel, a.k.a. Dr. Seuss, 1904-1991) "The one charm about marriage is that it makes a life of deception absolutely necessary for both parties." (Oscar Wilde) They're almost inseparable. Sometimes it takes ten people to separate them. -- Anonymous Patriotism is your conviction that this country is superior to all others because you were born in it. -- George Bernard Shaw Never judge a book by its movie. -- J. W. Eagan Health We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit. -- Aristotle "Do you know that places only yield up their secrets, their most profound mysteries, to those who are just passing through?" (Salman Rushdie, The Moor's Last Sigh) I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by. -- Douglas Adams Health When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President; I'm beginning to believe it. -- Clarence Darrow Here's a toast to your new bride who has everything a girl could want in her life, except for good taste in men! -- Wedding Toast Silence is argument carried out by other means. - ErnestoCheGuevara "Great spirits have always found violent opposition from mediocrities. The latter cannot understand it when a man does not thoughtlessly submit to hereditary prejudices but honestly and courageously u Love me or hate me, but spare me your indifference. -- Libbie Fudim Health Marry in haste, repent in leisure. -- Tilney "When you resort to attacking the messenger and not the message, you have lost the debate." (Addison Whithecomb) Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough. -- Groucho Marx Health "If I work toward an end, meantime I am confined to a process. The rainbow is more beautiful than the pot at the end of it, because the rainbow is now. And the pot never turns out to be quite what I e Blessed is he who has learned to laugh at himself, for he shall never cease to be entertained. -- John Powell Of the seven dwarves, only Dopey had a shaven face. This should tell us something about the custom of shaving. -- Tom Robbins, Skinny Legs and All "Those who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night." (Edger Allen Poe) It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education. -- Albert Einstein Health "Education is a vacine for violence." (Edward James Olmos) Character is what you are in the dark. -- Dwight L. Moody "They always say time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself." (Andy Warhol) Health Man is a rational animal who always loses his temper when he is called upon to act in accordance with the dictates of reason. -- Oscar Wilde Husband: a man who buys his football tickets four months in advance and waits until December 24 to do his Christmas shopping. The authority of those who teach is often an obstacle to those who want to learn. -- Cicero Not only is the universe stranger than we imagine, it is stranger than we can imagine. Sir Arthur Eddington (1882 - 1944) blah bl "Less is more." (Robert Browning) Health Blessed is he who has learned to laugh at himself, for he shall never cease to be entertained. -- John Powell The higher up you go, the more mistakes you are allowed. Right at the top, if you make enough of them, it's considered to be your style. -- Fred Astaire Tear open packet, unfold and use. -- Directions on moist towelette package Health This search for what you want is like tracking something that doesn't want to be tracked. It takes time to get a dance right, to create something memorable. -- Fred Astaire Show my head to the people, it is worth seeing. -- Georges Danton, to his executioner Marriage is like a mousetrap. Those on the outside are trying to get in. Those on the inside are trying to get out. "There is only one success: to be able to spend your life in your own way, and not to give others absurd maddening claims upon it." (Christopher Darlington Morley) One can survive everything, nowadays, except death, and live down everything except a good reputation. -- Oscar Wilde Health Shotgun wedding: a case of wife or death "I do not suppose I shall be remembered for anything. But I don't think about my work in those terms. It is just as vulgar to work for the sake of posterity as to work for the sake of money." (George He early on let her know who is the boss. He looked her right in the eye and clearly said, "You're the boss." -- Anonymous Health Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches. - the Duchess of Windsor, when asked what is the secret of a long and happy life I am going to put myself to sleep now for a bit longer than usual. Call the time Eternity." (Jerzy Kosinski, Polish novelist, from his suicide note) The louder he talked of his honour, the faster we counted our spoons. -- Emerson, Ralph Waldo Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive. -- Anaïs Nin "Ah! Don't say you agree with me. When people agree with me I always feel that I must be wrong." (Oscar Wilde) Health Most people are more comfortable with old problems than with new solutions. -- Anonymous Skill without imagination is craftsmanship and gives us many useful objects such as wickerwork picnic baskets. Imagination without skill gives us modern art. -- Tom Stoppard It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not. -- Andre Gide Health One cardinal rule of marriage should never be forgotten: "Give little, give seldom, and above all, give grudgingly." Otherwise, what could have been a proper marriage could become an orgy of sexual You can complain because roses have thorns, or you can rejoice because thorns have roses. -- Ziggy, character in comic strip by Tom Wilson The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about. -- Oscar Wilde One can survive everything, nowadays, except death, and live down everything except a good reputation. -- Oscar Wilde Executive ability is deciding quickly and getting someone else to do the work. -- John G. Pollard Health A man's feet should be planted in his country, but his eyes should survey the world. -- George Santayana A lover tries to stand in well with the pet dog of the house. -- Moliere The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up in the morning, and does not stop until you get into the office. -- Robert Frost Health
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