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Having a family is like having a bowling alley installed in your brain.
-- Martin Mull LOVE, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage or by removal of the patient from the
influences under which he incurred the disorder... It is sometimes fatal, but more frequently to the
physician Sex is the mathematics urge sublimated.
-- M. C. Reed Like a prune, you are not getting any better looking, but you are getting sweeter.
-- N. D. Stice All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That is his.
-- Oscar Wilde Government I do not have much patience with a thing of beauty that must be explained to be understood. If it
does need additional interpretation by someone other than the creator, then I question whether it
ha "Fools rush in where angels fear to tread." (Alexander Pope) Do not be too timid and squeamish about your actions. All life is an experiment. The more
experiments you make the better. What if they are a little course, and you may get your coat
soiled or torn? Government
I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I've just had a mirror put
over my kitchen table.
-- Rodney Dangerfield Most rock journalism is people who can't write interviewing people who can't talk for people who
can't read.
-- Frank Zappa I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body.
-- Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward Marrying a man is like buying something you've been admiring for a long time in a shop window.
You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn't always go with everything in the house.
-- Jean Ke "Defeat the fear of death and welcome the death of fear." (G. Gordon Liddy) Government Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end.
-- Semisonic, Closing Time We have children because we want immortality and this is the most reliable way of getting it.
-- Woodrow Wyatt Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.
-- John F. Kennedy Government
Creativity is piercing the mundane to find the marvelous.
-- Bill Moyers In the sciences, we are now uniquely privileged to sit side by side with the giants on whose
shoulders we stand.
-- Gerald Holton Why doesn't she like me? Is it my hair, my overbite, the fact that I've worn the same shirt and
shorts for the last four years?
-- Bart Simpson, young character from The Simpsons, U.S. animated tele Marriage is a rest period between romances. A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.
-- Michel de Montaigne Government You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don't try.
-- Beverly Sills We seek the comfort of another. Someone to share and share the life we choose. Someone to
help us through the neverending attempt to understand ourselves. And in the end, someone to
comfort us along Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson Government
"When wealth is lost, nothing is lost; when health is lost, something is lost; when character is lost, all is lost." (Billy Graham) Call on God, but row away from the rocks.
-- Indian proverb There is no reason for any individual to have a computer in his home.
-- Kenneth H. Olson, President of DEC, Convention of the World Future Society, 1977 If God created us in His image we have certainly returned the compliment.
-- Voltaire When he first ran for office, he appealed to the voters: "I never stole anything in my life. All I ask
is a chance."
-- Anon. Government If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam.
-- Johnny Carson I like two kinds of men: domestic and foreign.
-- Mae West "Someday there will be girls and women whose name will no longer mean the mere opposite of the male, but something in itself, something that makes one think not of any compliment and limit, but only o Government
"There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered." (Nelson Mandela, A Long Walk to Freedom) "One can do without people but one has need of a friend." (Chinese Proverb) They have come up with a perfect understanding. He won't try to run her life, and he won't try to
run his, either.
-- Anonymous Colleges are places where pebbles are polished and diamonds are dimmed.
-- Robert G. Ingersoll, (seen attributed to "R.S. Ingersoll" - a typo?) "Do something for the joy of doing it and pray you won't be punished." (Sammy Cahn) Government Democracy encourages the majority to decide things about which the majority is blissfully
ignorant.
--John Simon I was under medication when I made the decision not to burn the tapes.
-- Richard Nixon, U.S. President Democracy encourages the majority to decide things about which the majority is blissfully
ignorant.
--John Simon Government
Why don't you write books people can read?
-- Nora Joyce, to her husband James Be like a postage stamp. Stick to one thing until you get there.
-- Josh Billings Never regard study as a duty, but as the enviable opportunity to learn to know the liberating
influence of beauty in the realm of the spirit for your own personal joy and to the profit of the
commun Love is friendship set on fire.
- Jeremy Taylor Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind; And therefore is winged Cupid painted blind.
-- William Shakespeare, A Midsummer Night's Dream, Act i. Sc. 1. Government Knowledge is the intellectual manipulation of carefully verified observations.
-- Sigmund Freud Everyone is a genius at least once a year; a real genius has his original ideas closer together.
- Georg Lichtenberg Any sufficiently advanced bureaucracy is indistinguishable from molasses.
-- Anon. Government
"Like as the waves make towards the pebbl'd shore, so do our minutes, hasten to their end." (William Shakespeare) Every calling is great when greatly pursued.
-- Oliver Wendell Holmes No one really listens to anyone else, and if you try it for a while you'll see why.
-- Mignon McLaughlin The unfortunate thing about this world is that the good habits are much easier to give up than the
bad ones.
-- W. Somerset Maugham Sex is like bridge: If you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand.
-- Charles Pierce Government The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open. -- Groucho Marx "To introduce something altogether new would mean to begin all over, to become ignorant again, and to run the old, old risk of failing to learn." (Isaac Asimov) The louder he talked of his honour, the faster we counted our spoons.
-- Emerson, Ralph Waldo Government
Everybody can be great... because anybody can serve. You don't have to have a college degree
to serve. You don't have to make your subject and verb agree to serve. you only need a heart full
of grac Even death is not to be feared by one who has lived wisely.
-- Buddha My darling wife was always glum. I drowned her in a cask of rum, And so made sure that she would stay, In better spirits night and day. Until the day of his death, no man can be sure of his courage.
-- Jean Anouilh Nothing is really work unless you would rather be doing something else.
-- James Matthew Barrie Government "Children begin by loving their parents. After a time they judge them. Rarely, if ever, do they forgive them." (Oscar Wilde, A Woman of No Importance) No matter who you vote for, the Government always gets in.
-- Anon. Music makes one feel so romantic - at least it always gets on one's nerves - which is the same
thing nowadays.
-- Oscar Wilde Government
Reason can answer questions, but imagination has to ask them.
-- Ralph N. Gerard The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his.
-- General George Patton "I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members." (Groucho Marx) Character is what you are in the dark.
-- Dwight L. Moody Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteeen.
-- Albert Einstein Government If you want to sing out, sing out, and if you want to be free, be free, 'cause there's a million ways
to be, you know that there are...
-- Cat Stevens, from a song lyric "Whether it is a black cat or a white cat, as long as it can catch the rat, it is a good cat." (Deng Xiao Ping) "I would rather be exposed to the inconveniences attending too much liberty than to those attending too small a degree of it." (Thomas Jefferson, to Archibald Stuart, 1791) Government
Study men, not historians.
-- Harry Truman To heck with marrying a girl who makes biscuits like her mother--I want to marry one who makes dough like her father. "Even a stopped clock is right twice a day." (Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach) Cliches should be avoided like the plague.
-- Anon. It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not.
-- Andre Gide Government "I do not agree with what you have to say, but I'll defend to the death your right to say it." (Francois Marie Arouet Voltaire, 1694-1778) He who limps is still walking.
-- Stanislaw J. Lec I'm proud to be paying taxes in the United States. The only thing is - I could be just as proud for
half the money.
-- Arthur Godfrey Government
What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream? Or what's worse, what if only that fat
guy in the third row exists?
-- Woody Allen No one finds life worth living; he must make it worth living.
-- Anon. Mathematics transfigures the fortuitous concourse of atoms into the tracery of the finger of God.
-- Herbert Westren Turnbull Only the little people pay taxes.
-- Leona Helmsley, hotel owner and prison inmate, 1989 "One pretty good definition of college is that it's a place where people are made to read difficult books." (Jonathan Franzen) Government As for courage and will - we cannot measure how much of each lies within us, we can only trust
there will be sufficient to carry through trials which may lie ahead.
-- Andre Norton Trust everybody, but cut the cards.
-- Finley Peter Dunne "If I were still a critic, I would loathe knowing the person I was writing about. There's enough of an incestuous relationship between subject and writer." (Manny Farber, American film theorist) Government
