Beginning in February 1976 your assistance benefits will be discontinued ... Reason: it has been
reported to our office that you expired on January 1, 1976.
-- excerpt from a letter, Illinois Depart Convictions are more dangerous enemies of truth than lies.
-- Friedrich Nietzsche Sir, I would rather be right than be President.
-- Henry Clay, Speech, 1850, referring to the Compromise Measure Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson When nations grow old, the arts grow cold and commerce settles on every tree.
-- William Blake Events I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don't need.
-- Francois-Auguste Rodin, when asked how he managed to make his remarkable statues Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain
as marijuana...The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two, but can't
remember what I married the first man I ever kissed. When I tell this to my children they just about throw up.
-- Barbara Bush, first lady, 1989 Events
"My wallpaper and I are fighting a duel to the death. One or the other of us has to go." (Oscar Wilde, his last recorded words) "It seems to me that if you or I must choose between two courses of thought or action, we should remember our dying and try so to live that our death brings no pleasure on the world." (John Steinbeck Books had instant replay long before televised sports.
-- Bern Williams A man's ethical behavior should be based effectually on sympathy, education, and social ties; no
religious basis is necessary. Man would indeed be in a poor way if he had to be restrained by fear
of Men have become the tools of their tools.
- Henry David Thoreau ( Events Always talk to your wife while you're making love... if there's a phone handy. Marriage is a trip between Niagara Falls and Reno. Honolulu - it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother. -- Ken Dodd Events
Marital Freedom: The liberty that allows a husband to do exactly that which his wife pleases.
-- Anonymous The backbone of surprise is fusing speed with secrecy.
- Von Clausewitz Conscience is the inner voice which warns us that someone may be looking.
-- H. L. Mencken CAPITAL, n. The seat of misgovernment. That which provides the fire, the pot, the dinner, the
table and the knife and fork for the anarchist; the part of the repast that himself supplies is the
disg "In fact, most deaths are not tragic. Few people die because of a flaw in character, which is the essential element of tragedy. They just die." (John Chancellor, The News Business) Events The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I
have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.
-- George Bernard Shaw I've been trying desperately to save my marriage for the last 35 years. Food, one assumes, provides nourishment; but Americans eat it fully aware that small amounts of
poison have been added to improve its appearance and delay its putrefaction.
-- John Cage Events
Life is a sexually transmitted terminal disease.
-- Colin Greene "The brighter you are, the more you have to learn." (Don Herold) "Our lives are repetitious shams--every single day a simulacrum of the previous day. So for Man, he is out to pepper his daily activities with different things--he's fighting against boredom." (Matth God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
-- Voltaire In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience.
- W.B. Prescott Events "Take your life in your own hands, and what happens? A terrible thing: no one to blame." (Erica Jong) Avoid having your ego so close to your position that when your position falls, your ego goes with
it.
-- Colin Powell Life is like music; it must be composed by ear, feeling, and instinct, not by rule.
-- Samuel Butler Events
"Employees make the best dates. You don't have to pick them up and they're always tax-deductible." (Andy Warhol, Andy Warhol's Exposures, 1980) Whoever called it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
-- Groucho Marx I was going to change my shirt, but I changed my mind instead.
-- Winnie the Pooh I'm for abolishing and doing away with redundancy.
-- J. Curtis McKay, Wisconsin State Elections Board "If I were still a critic, I would loathe knowing the person I was writing about. There's enough of an incestuous relationship between subject and writer." (Manny Farber, American film theorist) Events A beauty is a woman you notice; A charmer is one who notices you.
-- Adlai Stevenson "When you resort to attacking the messenger and not the message, you have lost the debate." (Addison Whithecomb) Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside a dog, it's too dark to read.
-- Groucho Marx Events
I was nauseous and tingly all over... I was either in love or I had smallpox.
-- Woody Allen "People drag their progeny around with them like a ball and chain, like some terrible deadweight that hinders their every move - and that, as often as not, effectively winds up killing them." (Michel He who conquers himself is the mightiest warrior.
-- Confucius "The sickness of our times for me has been just this damn thing that everything has been getting smaller and smaller and less and less important, that the romantic spirit has dried up, that there is n "One of the great dangers in having a career is getting bored." (Itzhak Perlman) Events Cliches should be avoided like the plague.
-- Anon. Chase after the truth like all hell and you'll free yourself, even though you never touch its
coattails.
-- Clarence Darrow Thank heaven. A bachelor's life is no life for a single man.
-- Samuel Goldwyn, immigrant-turned-famous-movie-producer, when told his son was getting
married Events
Everything that can be invented has been invented.
- Charles H. Duell, Commissioner, U.S. Office of Patents, 1899 "Contrariwise," continued Tweedledee, "if it was so, it might be, and if it were so, it would be; but
as it isn't, it ain't. That's logic!"
-- Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland "Better to be deprived of food for three days than tea for one." (Chinese Proverb) It's important to be open-minded, but not SO open-minded that your brains fall out.
-- Rick Radebaugh The death of democracy is not likely to be an assassination from ambush. It will be a slow
extinction from apathy, indifference, and undernourishment.
-- Robert Hutchins, Great Books, 1954 Events "An able man shows his spirit by gentle words and resolute actions; he is neither hot nor timid." (Philip Dormer Stanhope Chesterfield, 4th earl of) A friend is one who knows us, but loves us anyway.
-- Fr. Jerome Cummings All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That is his.
-- Oscar Wilde Events
Women's liberationists spread the word that...the only peaceful family is one in which either the
wife is enslaved or the husband is androgynous.
-- R. Emmett Tyell, The Liberal Crack-Up, 1984 Don't ever take a fence down until you know why it was put up.
-- Robert Frost When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the
problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.
-- Buckminster Two souls with but a single thought,
Two hearts that beat as one.
-- Fredrich Halm LOVE, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage or by removal of the patient from the
influences under which he incurred the disorder... It is sometimes fatal, but more frequently to the
physician Events What do I dislike about death? Must be the hours.
-- Woody Allen The Middle Eastern states aren't nations; they're quarrels with borders.
-- P. J. O'Rourke To be or not to be isn't the question. The question is how to prolong being.
-- Tom Robbins Events
May you be too good for the world and not good enough for your wife. "When I was four years old they tried to test my IQ, they showed me this picture of three oranges and a pear. They asked me which one is different and does not belong, they taught me different was wro What a difference there is between what we say and what we think.
-- Racine "The want of logic annoys. Too much logic bores. Life eludes logic, and everything that logic alone constructs remains artificial and forced." (André Gide) I'd marry again if I found a man who had 15 million and would sign over half of it to me before the
marriage and guarantee he'd be dead within a year.
-- Bette Davis Events We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person
perfectly.
-- Anonymous Don't be afraid your life will end; be afraid that it will never begin.
-- Grace Hansen Disbelief in magic can force a poor soul into believing in government and business.
-- Tom Robbins Events
For most men life is a search for the proper manila envelope in which to get themselves filed.
-- Clifton Fadiman Let him who would enjoy a good future waste none of his present.
-- Roger Babson Good Night, Good night! Parting is such sweet sorrow,
that I shall say good night till it be morrow.
-- Romeo and Juliet, Shakespeare. Act II, Scene II, lines 220-221 Abstract art: a product of the untalented sold by the unprincipled to the utterly bewildered.
-- Al Capp I prefer the wicked rather than the foolish. The wicked sometimes rest.
-- Alexandre Dumas pere Events "Some people must go to extremes to get the world in balance for themselves. Some can't bear bright lights, so wherever they go they search for the dark; they turn the lights down, anything to sustain Its failings notwithstanding, there is much to be said in favor of journalism in that by giving us the
opinion of the uneducated, it keeps us in touch with the ignorance of the community.
-- Oscar W If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.
-- George Gobel Events
"Freedom of press is limited to those who own one." (Henry Louis Mencken) If you cannot be the master of your language, you must be its slave. If you cannot examine your
thoughts, you have no choice but to think them, however silly they may be.
-- Richard Mitchell, from Whenever I dwell for any length of time on my own shortcomings, they gradually begin to seem
mild harmless, rather engaging little things, not at all like the staring defects in other people's
chara You don't have to suffer to be a poet; adolescence is enough suffering for anyone.
-- John Ciardi "That government is best which governs the least, because its people discipline themselves." (Thomas Jefferson) Events I'm for abolishing and doing away with redundancy.
-- J. Curtis McKay, Wisconsin State Elections Board Love is the great miracle cure. Loving ourselves works miracles in our lives.
-- Louise Hay A patriot must always be ready to defend his country against his government.
-- Edward Abbey Events
