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The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds the most discoveries, is not
"Eureka!", but "That's funny..."
-- Isaac Asimov A new idea is delicate. It can be killed by a sneer or a yawn; it can be stabbed to death by a joke
or worried to death by a frown on the right person's brow.
-- Charles Brower blah "Sometimes it is said that man cannot be trusted with the government of himself. Can he, then be trusted with the government of others? Or have we found angels in the form of kings to govern him? Of course, it is very important to be sober when you take an exam. Many worthwile careers in the
street-cleansing, fruit-picking and subway-guitar-playing industries have been founded on a lack
of u There are two means of refuge from the misery of life - music and cats.
-- Albert Schweitzer Colleges and Universities Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when
people laugh.
-- George Bernard Shaw "Do something for the joy of doing it and pray you won't be punished." (Sammy Cahn) To heck with marrying a girl who makes biscuits like her mother--I want to marry one who makes dough like her father. Colleges and Universities
A university is what a college becomes when the faculty loses interest in students.
-- John Ciardi Some people talk in their sleep. Lecturers talk while other people sleep.
-- Albert Camus If I were to try to read, much less answer, all the attacks made on me, this shop might as well be
closed for any other business.
-- Abraham Lincoln We are the echo of the future.
-- W. S. Merwin In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been
widely regarded as a bad move.
-- Douglas Adams Colleges and Universities The world has suffered more from the ravages of ill-advised marriages than from virginity.
-- Ambrose Bierce However, never daunted, I will cope with adversity in my usual manner...sulking and nausea.
-- Tom K. Ryan I believe God is managing affairs and that He doesn't need any advice from me. With God in
charge, I believe everything will work out for the best in the end. So what is there to worry about.
-- Hen Colleges and Universities
Whenever a husband and wife begin to discuss their marriage, they are giving evidence at an
inquest.
-- H. L. Mencken It is possible to store the mind with a million facts and still be entirely uneducated.
-- Alec Bourne, A Doctor's Creed America is a large, friendly dog in a very small room. Every time it wags its tail, it knocks over a
chair.
-- Arnold Toynbee Ordinary riches can be stolen, real riches cannot. In your soul are infinitely precious things that
cannot be taken from you.
-- Oscar Wilde cannot imagine any condition which would cause this ship to founder. Modern shipbuilding has
gone beyond that.
-- E. I. Smith, Captain of the Titanic Colleges and Universities The reason most people play golf is to wear clothes they would not be caught dead in otherwise.
-- Roger Simon Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced.
-- James Baldwin A small family is soon provided for.
-- English Proverb Colleges and Universities
I'm not indecisive. Am I indecisive?
-- Jim Scheibel, mayor, St. Paul MN Hell hath no fury like a bureaucrat scorned.
-- Milton Friedman "Inside of a ring or out, ain't nothing wrong with going down. It's staying down that's wrong." (Muhammad Ali) The true spirit of conversation consists in building on another man's observation, not overturning
it.
-- Edward Bulwer-Lytton If I were a girl, I'd despair. The supply of good women far exceeds that of the men who deserve
them.
-- Robert Graves Colleges and Universities Faith is believing what you know ain't so.
-- Mark Twain Of course there's a lot of knowledge in universities: the freshmen bring a little in; the seniors don't
take much away, so knowledge sort of accumulates...
-- Anonymous Never apologize for showing feeling. When you do so you apologize for truth.
-- Benjamin Disraeli Colleges and Universities
I'm an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house.
-- Zsa Zsa Gabor He who laughs last has not yet heard the bad news.
-- Bertolt Brecht I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.
- Thomas Jefferson Good hours, excellent pay, fun place to work, paid training, mean boss. Oh well, four out of five
isn't bad.
-- Help Wanted Ad, PA newspaper, 1994 If you want a place in the sun, you've got to put up with a few blisters.
-- Abigail Van Buren Colleges and Universities Sure, it's going to kill a lot of people, but they may be dying of something else anyway.
-- Othal Brand, member of a Texas pesticide review board We live at a time when man believes himself fabulously capable of creation, but he does not
know what to create.
-- Jose Ortega y Gasset "Nothing is permanent but change." (Heraclitus) Colleges and Universities
Fanaticism consists of redoubling your efforts when you have forgotten your aim.
-- George Santayana It is absurd to divide people into good or bad. People are either charming or tedious.
-- Oscar Wilde Great Spirit, help me never to judge another until I have walked in his moccasins.
-- Sioux Indian Prayer Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
-- Albert Einstein There is nothing more notable in Socrates than that he found time, when he was an old man, to
learn music and dancing, and thought it time well spent.
-- Michel de Montaigne Colleges and Universities Long engagements give people the opportunity of finding out each other's character before marriage, which is never advisable. -- Oscar Wilde "Man was born free and everywhere he is in chains." (Jean-Jacques Rousseau, French philosopher, The Social Contract) "...when you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth." (Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, Sherlock Holmes) Colleges and Universities
"If I work toward an end, meantime I am confined to a process. The rainbow is more beautiful than the pot at the end of it, because the rainbow is now. And the pot never turns out to be quite what I e "A conservative is a man who sits and thinks, mostly sits." (Woodrow Wilson, 28th US president, 1856-1924) A husband is what's left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.
-- Helen Rowland "Feeding is a very important ritual for me. I don't trust people who don't like to eat." (Gina Gershon) Natural ability without education has more often attained to glory and virtue than education
without natural ability.
Cicero (106 BC - 43 BC) Colleges and Universities "Club Secretary: I say, Lawrence. You are a clown!
Lawrence: We can't all be lion tamers." (Thomas Edward Lawrence, Lawrence of Arabia, 1962) "When we are born we cry that we are come to this great stage of fools." (William Shakespeare) Television: A medium. So called because it is neither rare nor well done.
-- Ernie Kovacs Colleges and Universities
"I am the lizard king. I can do anything." (James Douglas Morrison, lead singer of The Doors) Women's liberationists spread the word that...the only peaceful family is one in which either the
wife is enslaved or the husband is androgynous.
-- R. Emmett Tyell, The Liberal Crack-Up, 1984 He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.
- Sir Winston Churchill There is nothing that can be said by mathematical symbols and relations which cannot also be
said by words. The converse, however, is false. Much that can be and is said by words cannot
successfully The real questions are the ones that obtrude upon your consciousness whether you like it or not,
the ones that make your mind start vibrating like a jackhammer, the ones that you 'come to terms
with Colleges and Universities It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both.
-- Niccolo Machiavelli, The Prince We're our own dragons as well as our own heroes, and we have to rescue ourselves from
ourselves.
-- Tom Robbins I just need enough to tide me over until I need more.
-- Bill Hoest Colleges and Universities
My best friend is the one who brings out the best in me!
-- Henry Ford Don't be afraid your life will end; be afraid that it will never begin.
-- Grace Hansen There's too much blood in my caffeine system.
-- Seen on a bumper sticker "How wondrous familiar is a fool!" (Herman Melville, Moby Dick) Action springs not from thought, but from a readiness for responsibility.
-- Dietrich Bonhoeffer Colleges and Universities All you need is love.
-- The Beatles, song title A theory is something nobody believes, except the person who made it. An experiment is
something everybody believes, except the person who made it.
-- Albert Einstein, attributed Avoid having your ego so close to your position that when your position falls, your ego goes with
it.
-- Colin Powell Colleges and Universities
Love is temporary insanity curable by marriage.
-- Ambrose Bierce Launch out into the deep. One discovers by living in scorn of consequence.
-- Essie Summers This search for what you want is like tracking something that doesn't want to be tracked. It takes
time to get a dance right, to create something memorable.
-- Fred Astaire The first duty of a lecturer: to hand you after an hour's discourse a nugget of pure truth to wrap up
between the pages of your notebooks, and keep on the mantlepiece forever.
-- Virginia Woolf Youth is wasted on the young.
-- George Bernard Shaw Colleges and Universities I still say a church steeple with a lightning rod on top shows a lack of confidence.
-- Doug MacLeod If you are afraid of loneliness, do not marry. -- Chekhov Defeat never comes to any man until he admits it.
-- Josephus Daniels Colleges and Universities
"I have Social Disease. I have to go out every night. If I stay home one night I start spreading rumors to my dogs." (Andy Warhol, Andy Warhol's Exposures, 1980) To be able to say how much love, is love but little.
-- Petrarch There's no problem so awful that you can't add some guilt to it and make it even worse!
-- Calvin Basically, I no longer work for anything but the sensation I have while working.
- Albert Giacometti (sculptor) May you live happily ever after with a poor, ugly, shrewish wife. Colleges and Universities Always go to the bathroom when you have a chance.
-- King George V Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteeen.
-- Albert Einstein "Against stupidity the very gods themselves contend in vain." (Johann Christian Friedrich von Schiller, 1759-1805, The Maid of Orleans. Act iii. Sc. 6.) Colleges and Universities
