Bradford-Net - Bradford district web community incorporating local links and a localised search facility. Includes Bradford, Keighley, Shipley, Bingley, Haworth and Skipton.
Very little is known of the Canadian country since it is rarely visited by anyone but the Queen and
illiterate sport fishermen.
-- P. J. O'Rourke Friendship is like money, easier made than kept.
-- Samuel Butler In a hierarchy, every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence. Therefore:
? In time, every post tends to be occupied by an employee who is incompetent to carry out its
duties.
? Work All human actions are equivalent... and... all are on principle doomed...
-- Jean-Paul Sartre, "Being and Nothingness" Question: Ted Kennedy: "Where was George?"
Answer: Dry, sober, and at home with his wife Guides and Directories Good breeding consists in concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of
the other person.
-- Mark Twain When you don't know that you don't know, it's a lot different than when you do know that you
don't know. He knows now that he doesn't know. Last year, he didn't know that.
-- Bill Parcels, New Engla I have spread my dreams under your feet;
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.
-- William Butler Yeats, from "He wishes for the cloths of heaven" Guides and Directories
"I love Los Angeles. I love Hollywood. They're beautiful. Everybody's plastic, but I love plastic. I want to be plastic." (Andy Warhol, Holy Terror: Andy Warhol Close Up) A true gentleman is one who is never unintentionally rude.
-- Oscar Wilde If you don't double-click me, I can't do anything.
-- John Aniston, on how computers have taken over his life Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive.
-- Anaïs Nin "Don't let your ego get too close to your position, so that if your position gets shot down, your ego doesn't go with it." (Colin Powell) Guides and Directories Genius is an African who dreams up snow.
-- Vladimir Nabokov It was the experience of mystery -- even if mixed with fear -- that engendered religion.
- Albert Einstein Men have become the tools of their tools.
- Henry David Thoreau ( Guides and Directories
"Most people would rather die than think; in fact, they do so." (Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 1872-1970) "The man who lets himself be bored is even more contemptible than the bore." (Samuel Butler) Love is the wisdom of the fool and the folly of the wise.
-- Samuel Johnson Often it does seem a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat.
-- Mark Twain Every child is born a genius.
-- R. Buckminster Fuller Guides and Directories I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.
-- Thomas Edison God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at
the same time.
- Robin Williams, commenting on the Clinton/Lewinsky affair "He who cannot give anything away cannot feel anything either." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Guides and Directories
Why don't you write books people can read?
-- Nora Joyce, to her husband James "I have the terrible feeling that, because I am wearing a white beard and am sitting in the back of the theatre, you expect me to tell you the truth about something. These are the cheap seats, not Mou Experience is one thing you can't get for nothing.
-- Oscar Wilde "The proper office of a friend is to side with you when you are wrong. Nearly anybody will side with you when you are right." (Mark Twain) If stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?
- Will Rogers Guides and Directories War is a profession by which a man cannot live honorably; an employment by which the soldier, if
he would reap any profit, is obliged to be false, rapacious, and cruel.
-- Niccolo Machiavelli The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline
luggage.
-- Mark Russell A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.
- Paul Erdos Guides and Directories
We seek the comfort of another. Someone to share and share the life we choose. Someone to
help us through the neverending attempt to understand ourselves. And in the end, someone to
comfort us along "I was born and raised with crocodiles; they are a piece of cake. But kids are so ... unpredictable." (Steve Irwin, "Crocodile Hunter") Famous remarks are very seldom quoted correctly.
-- Simeon Strunsky The theory used to be you marry an older man because they are more mature. The new theory is that men don't mature. So you might as well marry a younger one. The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
-- Mark Twain Guides and Directories "I should reproach him for not giving us enough evidence." (Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 1872-1970, what he would say to God if they 'met') "I consider it the highest compliment when my employees go out and start their own companies in competition with me. I always send them a plant to wish them well. Of course, it's a cactus." (Norman B The theory used to be you marry an older man because they are more mature. The new theory is
that men don't mature. So you might as well marry a younger one.
-- Anonymous Guides and Directories
"A man who tells lies, like me, merely hides the truth. But a man who tells half-lies has forgotten where he put it." (Claude Rains, as Mr. Dryden, Lawrence of Arabia, 1962) "Death where is thy sting? Love, where is thy glory?" (William Shakespeare) "Guard with jealous attention the public liberty. Suspect every one who approaches that jewel. Unfortunately, nothing will preserve it but downright force. Whenever you give up that force, you are ine Never tell. Not if you love your wife... In fact, if your old lady walks in on you, deny it. Yeah. Just
flat out and she'll believe it: "I'm tellin' ya. This chick came downstairs with a sign around He who laughs last thinks slowest.
-- Seen on a bumper sticker Guides and Directories "Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful committed citizens can change the world, indeed it is the only thing that ever has." (Margaret Mead, 1901-78) Some men are born with cold feet; some acquire cold feet; and some have cold feet thrust upon
them.
-- Anonymous If we do not maintain Justice, Justice will not maintain us.
-- Francis Bacon Guides and Directories
"Furious activity is no substitute for understanding." (H. H. Williams) When one is trying to do something beyond his known powers it is useless to seek the approval
of friends. Friends are at their best in moments of defeat.
-- Henry Miller "Nietzsche was stupid and abnormal." (Leo Tolstoy, 1828-1910) I married beneath me. All women do.
-- Lady Nancy Astor, attributed "I've just had eighteen straight whiskies. I think that's the record." (Dylan Thomas, final words) Guides and Directories The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep.
- Clinton aide George Stephanopolous speaking on Larry King Live Why bother with marriage? Just find a woman you hate and buy her a house. "Children begin by loving their parents. After a time they judge them. Rarely, if ever, do they forgive them." (Oscar Wilde, A Woman of No Importance) Guides and Directories
Now, now my good man, this is no time for making enemies.
- Voltaire (1694-1778) on his deathbed in response to a priest asking that he renounce Satan. History repeats itself; that's one of the things that's wrong with history.
-- Clarence Darrow That's the way things come clear. All of a sudden. And then you realize how obvious they've been
all along.
-- Madeleine L'Engle "You can get help from teachers, but you are going to have to learn a lot by yourself, sitting alone in a room." (Theodor Seuss Geisel, a.k.a. Dr. Seuss, 1904-1991, On becoming a writer, NY Times 21 Those who do not want to imitate anything, produce nothing.
-- Salvador Dali Guides and Directories There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you
yourself have altered.
-- Nelson Mandela, A Long Walk to Freedom "Courage is found in unlikely places." (John Ronald Reuel Tolkien) CAPITAL, n. The seat of misgovernment. That which provides the fire, the pot, the dinner, the
table and the knife and fork for the anarchist; the part of the repast that himself supplies is the
disg Guides and Directories
Integrity without knowledge is weak and useless, and knowledge without integrity is dangerous
and dreadful.
-- Samuel Johnson The promises of maniacs, like those of women, are not safely relied upon.
-- Joseph Heller, God Knows The better part of valor is discretion.
-- William Shakespeare 1564-1616 from King Henry the Fourth, Part I To believe in something, and not to live it, is dishonest.
-- Ghandi Many a man in love with a dimple makes the mistake of marrying the whole girl.
-- Stephen Leacock Guides and Directories When ideas fail, words come in very handy.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Few men have virtue to withstand the highest bidder.
-- George Washington Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.
-- John F. Kennedy Guides and Directories
Every act of creation is first an act of destruction.
-- Pablo Picasso "The sickness of our times for me has been just this damn thing that everything has been getting smaller and smaller and less and less important, that the romantic spirit has dried up, that there is n Ninety percent of everything is crap.
-- Theodore Sturgeon blah "A friend is someone who gives you total freedom to be yourself." (James Douglas Morrison, lead singer of The Doors) Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
-- Seen on a bumper sticker Guides and Directories A man has to live with himself, and he should see to it that he always has good company.
-- Charles Evans Hughes Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of
sin.
-- John Von Neuman Honolulu, it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother.
-- Ken Dodd Guides and Directories
Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you
underneath. At night, the ice weasels come.
-- Matt Groening, Love is Hell Vitality shows in not only the ability to persist but the ability to start over.
-- F. Scott Fitzgerald Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.
-- Carol Burnett "Great indebtedness does not make men grateful, but vengeful; and if a little charity is not forgotten, it turns into a gnawing worm." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche, Thus Spake Zarathustra) The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit.
-- W. Somerset Maugham Guides and Directories "I was lousy in school. Real screwed-up. A moron. I was antisocial and didn't bother with the other kids. A really bad student. I didn't have any brains. I didn't know what I was doing there. That's w Thought is action in rehearsal.
-- Sigmund Freud I think one of the reasons I'm popular again is because I'm wearing a tie. You have to be different.
-- Tony Bennett, 1995 Guides and Directories
